Anachronistic: Endless Masquerade

31 | Overcome ̶b̶y̶ Fear

- 31 -

Lilith wondered exactly who had kicked her in the head the night before. Even if she considered what happened between her and Pandora a fight, the only damage sustained had been emotional. Yet, her head throbbed in time with the beating of her heart. The pain only worsened when she pushed herself up and looked over toward the port hole. She needed to raise a hand to shield her eyes from the sunlight that punched her directly in the retinas.

        Not the most gentle way of beckoning me out of bed.

        Now that she was awake, Lilith had a choice to make. Her heart told her to go find Pandora at breakfast and apologize. Instead, she collapsed back into the mattress.

        Why fucking bother?

        It didn't matter what Lilith's heart told her. The steep angle of the sunlight streaming into the room told her that she had missed breakfast, and probably lunch as well. At least that explained the headache. She had overslept.

        Even if I find Pandora during the dinner service what would I say to her? "I waited 16 hours because I was trying to give you time to cool off."

        Pandora wasn't stupid. There was no explanation that would be good enough, at least not without telling the truth. Not without admitting what she was. That wasn't an option. Too much of the truth had already slipped in. Lilith had built her relationship with Pandora on a lie. Then when they kissed, when the truth peeked through the cracks, what they had was shattered.

        The thought stung at the corners of her eyes, trying to draw out tears, but Lilith had long since run dry. She buried her face into the pillow and pulled the sheets over her head. She had already slept through most of the day, but why even bother getting up? Why not sleep through the rest of it? Hell, the rest of the week. It's not like she needed to eat to survive. Now that she had ruined her relationship with Pandora, the smartest thing to do was disappear until the ship reached port.

         Lilith cursed herself. This was all her fault. Once again, she had let her fear paralyze her. If I could just learn to control it then... Then what? She didn't know.

        It's not like she could have maintained a relationship with Pandora. If she dated the woman, at some point sex would come up. What a choice that would be. Sleep with your partner and kill her, or tell the truth and force her to kill you.

        Lilith's thoughts continued to spiral inward when a knock sounded at the door. She bolted upright, the bed sheet following after her. Was that Pandora? Was she being given a second chance? Her heart swelled.

        She reached up to grab the sheet over her head and threw it aside. The makeshift ghost costume was no longer appropriate. It felt like she was being given a second chance at life. She shuffled to the edge of the bed and stood up. There was only one chance at this. She needed to make her apology count. Her shaking hand reached for the doorknob, then hesitated.

        Do I look alright?

        Lilith smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress the best she could manage. Another knock came as she was running her fingers through her hair. It would have to be good enough. She grabbed the handle and threw the door open.

        "Pandora, I'm sorr..."

        Lilith's eyes met a wall of muscle. She drifted her gaze up the man's massive chest before settling on his face. She did her best to mirror his kind smile, but she was sure he could see the disappointment in her eyes. She had failed so many times to mask her feelings from Pandora, why would it be any different here?