The Dating Game

FORTY-TWO

Tuesday, February 27th

As soon as I make it back home after school ends, I slam the door behind me. I thought I'd be over it all by now; it's been a couple of weeks since Chase and I last talked, and an entire month since we'd broken up. I don't see him around Carmen much anymore, but it hurts more realizing that I won't get to know why. Chase hasn't even looked my way since that night in his room. How am I supposed to believe his feelings for me were ever mutual when he doesn't care to even pretend he knows I exist anymore?

And of course, when I glance around the house, my mother is out of sight as well. I can hardly recall the last time I got to sit down and speak with her for more than five minutes either. It's like everyone I care about is slowly starting to inch their way out of my life and it's truly tearing me apart.

"Mickey," Naomi calls out for me from her bedroom. It's quiet, and I almost miss it, but she sounds distressed so it's impossible for me to ignore her.

"What's up Naomi?" I ask, inching toward her room wearily. She's sitting on her bed in her school clothes even though she's not supposed to be home for another hour. "What are you doing here?"

"Mommy took me to the tooth doctor," she says with an adorable grimace. She crosses her arms angrily and waits for me to comfort her but I just giggle a little.

"Where's Mom now?"

She shrugs and pouts and I can tell she's ready to take a nap, so I set my things down in my room and return to put her to bed. It takes a while, mainly because she wants to tell me about her entire day before I can pull the covers over her, but eventually she calms down and I'm able to get her to fall asleep.

Just as I'm closing the door to Naomi's bedroom, my mom walks in with a couple of bags in her hands, filled with groceries. We make eye contact and for the first time in a long time, she's not smiling at me.

Instead, her eyes are infected with dark circles and bags as heavy as the ones in her hands, and her lips are dropping down to her chin. To say she looks exhausted would be a massive understatement.

"Mom," I say almost immediately. She sets the bags down on the countertop and sighs as she takes a seat on the couch.

"Michelle." Not an ounce of life in her voice. I've never seen my mom like this before.

I move to sit beside her, watching as she looks like her soul is being sucked out of her body. She doesn't even look over at me.

"Mom, are you okay?" I ask her, though I'm not sure there's any answer she could possibly give me that would make me feel better. Or make her feel better, for that matter.

She just shuts her eyes in silence for a moment before she responds. "I'm fine, honey."

"You can't lie to me like that anymore."

I watch her chest rise and then fall as a tremble infiltrates her lips. She gasps for air while a single tear falls from her eye, but she doesn't make another sound. For a moment, she just cries in complete quiet, and I start to wonder just how long she's been suffering alone like this.

"Mom, it's okay," I tell her, wrapping my arms around her as she sobs into my chest. "It's okay. Just talk to me; tell me what's going on. Please."

A minute or so passes by and she composes herself enough to speak. "I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"I never should've stayed with him after learning about..."

"Mom, please don't blame yourself," I tell her, looking directly into her eyes so she knows just how serious I am. "You're not the one in the wrong here; we've talked about this before."