The Dating Game

THIRTY-NINE

Somehow, after it feels like years have passed, Holly's high-pitched voice shocks both Chase and me back to reality. I hear her clasp her hands together as she smiles wide and blurts out, "Congratulations!"

I don't know how or why, but something in that reaction sets me off and punches me in the gut. I know damn well my eyes hid absolutely nothing about the way I feel about Chase, so the only possible way we could have won is because he didn't share the same look in his eyes.

I knew he cared about me, but I thought that maybe there was a chance. That maybe none of this mattered if he wanted to look at me and tell me he felt the same way. But now that Holly is handing us each five hundred dollars in cash, I realize I was a fool to have hope like that. How could it even be possible for Chase Matthews to be in love with me? 

The walk to my house is uncomfortable. The silence that fills the air between us is nothing like the soft wind that used to make this part feel so familiar. Instead, we don't hold hands or touch each other or even look at each other for the entire time. It's terribly agonizing and I have to pretend like I'm happy to have half a thousand dollars in my hand when the only thing I want in it is his hand.

As soon as we approach my house, I'm ready to walk inside with an unspoken goodbye, to spare my feelings at the very least. But before I can head in, Chase grabs my wrist and pulls me into a hug.

"Chase, what are you—"

"Shhh," he strokes my hair. "Just— Just let me have this."

His voice comes out shaky and soft; nothing like the confident and cocky Chase I've grown to enjoy having around. My heart beats quicker in my chest as he wraps his arms around me and holds me tight, and the last thing on my mind is breaking up with him. But eventually, he releases me from the hug and stares into my eyes, keeping us connected by our hands.

"It's been fun," he tells me with a small smile. There's a certain glint in his eyes that I can't ignore, but I also can't figure out exactly what it means either.

"It has been," I agree, reciprocating his gentle grin. I can't believe this is the last time I'll get to smell his cheap cologne from this close. How does someone just make a transition like that?

After a moment of... I don't even know passes by, Chase still hasn't averted his eyes from mine. And neither have I. Looking away now just feels like giving up and I can't give up. Not when I've come so far.

Suddenly, Chase speaks so softly, it almost comes out in a whisper. "We don't have to do this, you know."

As if my heart wasn't racing enough, now my throat has taken my breath away as well. He can't seriously be proposing what I think he is, right? There's no way.

"What do you mean?" I manage to ask.

He just chuckles. "Michelle, come on. I know you like to pretend you've only stuck around this whole time for the prize, but there's something here." He drops my hands and instead, places his on either side of my head, holding my face with sincerity. "We can forget about this game and do this for real. You can't tell me that's not what you want."

I try to slow my breathing, but I can't imagine being able to handle what Chase is outright admitting to me right now. This whole time, I thought he's just been here for the kissing and the adventures. Could he actually have feelings for me? Real, uncompromised feelings?