A Court of Innocents

5: Fluctuation

The sitting room was empty in the House of Wind. So was the kitchen. And the dining room, the library, and the hall that led to Rhys and Feyre's shared bedroom. I stormed throughout the house, thoughts spiraling further down the longer it took me to find Rhysand. Eventually, I located Feyre in the walk-in pantry, chocolate all over her face as she dug into Mor's private sweet collection.

She froze, caught red-handed.

I raised an eyebrow. "Won't she kill you for touching that?"

"De bubu mea me chu lit," she mumbled with a mouthful of fudge.

And, despite my sour mood, I found myself laughing. This was the High Lady I fought to protect every day, and I couldn't be prouder. "What did you say?"

She finally swallowed and repeated, "The baby made me do it."

I continued to laugh. "You really think that excuse will hold with Mor?"

She motioned to her swollen belly. "All I have to do is make those baby sounds and she'll forget all about it. Mor loves this child almost as much as I do, I swear."

"She'll be the world's best aunt."

"Who were you looking for?" Feyre asked, rising to her feet. She closed the lid on the chocolate box and hid it back where she'd found it before proceeding to lick each of her fudge-stained fingers clean.

"Rhysand."

"He's with Amren. Discussing ways to convince Tamlin to really ally with us."

"Oh." I couldn't conceal the disappointment, or self-loathing. That meeting had gone south purely because of me. I wasn't ready to forgive myself for it yet.

"Can I help you with something?"

I had been wanting to pummel Rhys's face in for keeping me in the dark about the disease, but there was something else I'd needed him for too. Something that Feyre might also be able to help me with. "Yes, actually. I need... advice."

Her eyebrows raised in curious alarm. "Oh?"

I opened my mouth, only to hesitate. Cassian, Azriel, and Nesta were here somewhere. I couldn't stand the thought of them overhearing. "Is there somewhere we can talk? Alone?"

She smiled, eyes glowing golden. "I was actually thinking of going to the city. I'm craving some of those buttered muffins from that café along the Sidra."

And that settled it.

An hour later, a plate full of muffins between us, Feyre and I sat at a small table outside Loren's Cafe, a family-owned business that had thrived on selling delicious bakery treats for the last eight decades. Vibrant, midday blues melted into deeper purple across the sky as afternoon drifted into evening.

"So." Feyre swallowed the last bite of her second muffin. "You said something about needing advice?"

I glanced down the street, checking for any eavesdroppers. "When you and Rhys first met, before you knew you were mates, did you ever... find a way into his mind? Without trying, I mean."

She grabbed a chocolate muffin as she thought back on the early days of her relationship. "Sometimes I'd hear him down the bond, yes, but only when his emotions were heightened enough that he'd tug on that tie that bound us together."

That made sense. When I'd been trapped in Tamlin's head last night, he had been livid. The High Lord that I remembered never lost control like that, and he was never destructive. That family manor meant more to him than he'd ever admit, so he must have been truly losing it. And today, I'd only heard him in my mind after everything with Ian and Willick. I had been upset beyond words. Was that the answer then? Simply control my emotions and Tamlin would stay out of my head?