A Court of Innocents

25: Evasion

Darkness closed in. The world spun away. Azriel pulled me tight against him, and I didn't know where he was taking me, but I knew it wouldn't be far enough to find me the relief of peace again.

There is nowhere you can hide that I won't find you. Those were Eris' last words to me centuries ago. Neither one of us had known that I'd escape my birth court after, and those words hadn't been a goodbye. They'd been a promise.

As the world solidified beneath my feet again, I realized that he was right. This world was finite, and because of that, I could never outrun him, or the promise of violence that followed in his wake. I could start over a million times in a million different places. Wear the guise of whatever new version of myself that I created. Pretend like the threat was gone, and I had finally found peace and quiet. But I was only fooling myself.

Yara. That was all I heard—my name on the lips of my best friend. But I couldn't see or feel him, couldn't break past the terror screaming in my head. And then—

Breathe, Yara. Just one breath. That's it.

His voice became clearer with every breath I fought to get down, until the world fell into view again. I knew those black curtains that covered floor-to-ceiling windows. Recognized that piano in the corner. And the bed...

My fingers had tangled in those sheets just a month ago. Azriel had pressed me into the mattress, his mouth had trailed kisses down my throat, and his hips had settled between my legs. Until that moment, I'd only dreamed of what Azriel tasted like. And then, by some miracle, he showed me.

And I'd ruined it so quickly.

That was the first night I'd broken my best friend's heart.

And I'd been breaking it every day since.

Now, as I caught my breath in his desk chair, as I found him kneeling before me, I asked myself what I was doing. If Eris knew where I was, no one and nothing could stop him from getting to me. I was only endangering Azriel by being here.

My fears must have been written all over my face, rippling off my body with a heady, undeniable scent, because he said, "There are wards around this apartment. No one can get inside unless I let them in. You're safe, Yara."

I couldn't let myself believe that, couldn't let myself hope.

"And if he somehow found a way to get inside—which is impossible, by the way—I would shatter the earth before I let him get to you."

"I've made the mistake of thinking I was safe before—"

"This time is different."

"Why? H-how?"

"Because he might be willing to kill to get to you, but I'm willing to die to protect you."

I swallowed. "He has... power."

"Not as much as me. Or Rhys. Or any of the others, and we will all fight to keep you safe."

I couldn't find another argument. Azriel's words were insistent, his presence reassuring. I knew he was right. The safest place in all of Prythian was with the Inner Circle.

And that was precisely the issue.

"Rhysand's power—it'll force me away from you as soon as the sun sets. I'll be alone and—"

"I'll change his mind." He rose to his feet, but I tugged on his shirt, surprised to find my hand shaking.

"Don't leave me." I didn't care if this apartment was warded, didn't care that no outside threat could reach me here as long as I remained inside these walls. If Azriel left me alone, I'd panic again, and I worried that it would draw on that same power I'd lost control of a week ago.