A Court of Innocents

28: Friendship

The sun was a spotlight on my face before six in the morning. There was half an inch of space between the blackout curtains and the windows, and a fraction of light slipped in, perfectly angled to blind me as I opened my eyes.

I didn't remember falling asleep last night. Yet the memory of Azriel's limbs twisting around mine as I slept against his chest was a permanent crease on my skin. The few hours of sleep I'd gotten had been exactly what I needed.

But the bed was empty. Azriel was gone. That, admittedly, crushed my spirits.

Something cracked and popped behind me, and the saltiness of fried eggs and other meats hit me. I turned to find a familiar Illyrian standing in the kitchen, hovering over the stove as he made up some concoction of delicious smells.

I pulled my legs up to my chest, and I was awake enough to realize that the shirt I wore belonged to Azriel. It was still fresh with his scent. I watched him move around the kitchen with ease, admiring that back a little too long.

He transferred the eggs to two plates and finally looked up at me. "Good morning." It had been a long time since I'd seen him smile like this. His shadows were nowhere to be found, and I selfishly wanted to believe that I had something to do with it.

And yet I couldn't bring myself to return that bright smile. Not when I knew what today would consist of.

Like everything, this didn't go unnoticed by him. My silence lasted a beat too long, and that smile frayed.

I moved from the bed—and stumbled. The space between my legs ached to the point of annoyance. We hadn't even fucked, and yet his mark was indented on my skin. He'd promised I would be limping this morning, and I knew he was now taking pleasure as I struggled to walk to the bathing room.

I took my time, basking in every second that a closed door stood between us. I couldn't think straight when he looked at me the way he had been since I'd woken. Today demanded a clear head, a game plan.

I gazed at the woman in the mirror and thought, the only way to fight the darkness is to push through it, and you have done that a hundred times and lived to tell the tale. Today will be no different.

When I felt weak today, I would remind myself of all the times I had been nothing but strong. It would be enough to get me through this. I've survived days like this before, and maybe I would have some new scars at the end of it, but I would make it through. There was no other option.

Azriel sat at the table in the corner of the kitchen when I stepped out of the bathing room. Plates of fried eggs and corn beef hash were placed before the two seats. Somehow, despite everything that ran through that spymaster's busy mind, he managed to remember my favorite breakfast food.

I sat across from him, bringing the fork halfway to my mouth before I remembered my manners. "Thank you."

He just stared at me.

"Are we... waiting for something?"

"No. Dig in."

And so I did. Flavor burst across my tongue, savory and salty and amazing. It was like I had never tasted food before. My plate was clear in two minutes, and though I was satisfied, I still craved more of that delicious flavor.

"Are you upset with me?" asked Azriel once his plate was cleared as well.

"Yes. It's cruel that you've waited ninety years to cook for me, especially when you're so good at it."