Fated - Remus Lupin Fanfic

Chapter 4: It Means Everything

Remus put on his uniform early in the morning and got a glass of water from the dorm tap.

He took his medication, but in the bathroom mirror, he saw James leaning against the doorframe.

"So, have you told her yet?"

Remus shook his head and began to brush his teeth. "I need time,"

"It's been a week since you've been back with her," James looked at Remus' scarred back. "How much more time do you need?"

Remus snapped at him as he turned around. "Look James I get you're worried about her but I'm the sick one here. It's my choice to decide when I tell her."

James stood slightly back, but his voice stayed calm. "I'm looking out for you. The longer you take to tell her the more upset she will be when you do. I'm trying to help you."

He was seething with rage at how calm James was all the time. For once, he wanted to see him fight back with pure rage as Remus did. Remus wanted to see the person he looked up to to be inconsolable with rage just so he'd feel less guilty about his own.

Instead, Remus turned back around to the sink and washed his face under the cool water. "I'm going to tell her soon." He sighed, his hands on the sides of the sink.

James stepped back towards him, putting his hand on Remus' shoulder.

—

Remus sat at the end of the Gryffindor table with Sirius, James and Peter. He knew that Violet always came in with Pandora and Emmeline.

Remus pointed to the seat next to him he had left for her. Violet parted from her friends at the tables like usual and sat down next to them.

His friends shuffled uncomfortably, as they felt guilty for knowing something she didn't.

The hall was full of chatter and when it finally began to rise higher and higher, Remus leaned into Violet and whispered, "Can we speak outside?"

She nodded and got up after him, and they walked far enough down the hallways that they couldn't be heard.

"What do you want to speak about?" Violet smiled kindly.

Remus bit the inner of his cheek, unable to bite his words back this time. "Vi..."

"Remus..." She repeated, slightly mocking him.

"Violet this is... it's serious." He breathed.

"Oh," She nodded, her voice softer now. "What is it?"

Tears welled in his eyes. "I have sepsis."

"What?" She laughed breathily as if all the air had been knocked out of her lungs. "Why would you... it's not a big deal, I mean, you're probably being cured as we speak-"

"I have five months to live."

Her shoulders dropped. "How... how long have you known?"

"... Since the day you came back to Hogwarts."

She stepped back. "So when we... when we were in the library the other day you- is that what you were going to tell me? Is this the thing that you just brushed off?!"

"I told you, Vi, it means nothing-"

"It means everything," She looked up and down at him with disbelief and tears in her eyes. "You mean everything!"

He shook his head and closed his eyes as tears poured out of them, "Do you want to know why I didn't tell you sooner?"

"Yes, please, I'm begging you!"

"Because out of all people, I don't want you seeing me any differently!" He opened his eyes to meet hers. He placed his hands on either side of her arms to try and reassure her that he was in fact there and real in this moment.

"You, Violet, are my favourite person in the world and I was worried my sickness would make you treat me differently. But I like how we are and if anything changes between us I don't want it to be because of this." He held up his medicine bottle at the last word.

She took it from him and placed it back into his pocket. "I want to be as much help as I can to you Remus. And I may act differently but I promise you that this won't change our relationship. The only thing that can change that is us."

They stared at each other, both somehow started by the fact that they had just admitted they possibly wanted something more.

Violet wiped her face and then his with her thumb, and then she hugged him gently. "Everything is going to be okay," She whispered softly into his chest.

Remus nodded. "It's going to be okay," He murmured into her hair.

—