spider | hoshi + s.coups

06

present day

Seungcheol stifled his sobs, his sobriety returning as he heard Soonyoung's and Seokmin's panicked screams.

He too panicked for a few seconds, guilt hitting him hard like a truck, just as much as the very first time he had dared to abuse his precious Hyeri.

He was used to being in pain, physically, mentally and emotionally, he was used to slowly dying a little everyday, yet he could never get used to the guilt of hurting the person most important to him. It felt like hurting a part of himself. The best part of himself.

Seungcheol heard his former friends' voices sounding farther away, and knew that they would take care of Hyeri, if, God forbid, something serious had happened to her. He didn't realise the extent of his own strength, despite not being able to eat and digest proper, square meals in a single day.

He walked towards the room he spent most of his time, hands immediately grabbing a bottle of alcohol, only one out of many that were strategically and conveniently placed around the whole house, so he could access intoxication anywhere in the house.

He downed a little less than half of the bottle, desperately waiting for the kick of intoxication alcohols usually provided, which helped him escape his painful reality and be transported to someplace placid and feel docile.

However, neither did the kick come, nor did the escapism. All he got was the uncomfortable feeling in his throat from gulping too quickly. He coughed hard, a little blood making its way in his hands.

Perhaps his liver had given up too and had stopped functioning, refusing to dispose any more of the toxins Seungcheol consumed on a daily (and concerning) basis.

He sighed, tossing the half-empty bottle on the couch, groggily walking towards the cupboard that once used to house both, his and Hyeri's clothes and possessions.

Now, it was half-empty too.

Hyeri's side of the cupboard had been cleared out slowly, her things now in the guest room, which she occupied full time, because she didn't want to be around Seungcheol unless necessary.

That thought hurt Seungcheol right in his heart, probably more than the incessant pain in various other parts of his body.

He plopped himself down to the floor, grunting a little, and pulled out the first photo album from the pile of many photo albums in the bottom-most shelf of their, his, cupboard.

It was the photo album of their wedding. Well, weddings; one, their real wedding, the other, an extra celebration made by their friends, since they hadn't invited them to the first one.

He smiled sadly, vividly remembering every single detail of that day.

He remembered how he couldn't sleep the entire night before their wedding.

He remembered how he had refused to eat breakfast out of nervousness, only for Hyeri to end up soothingly feeding him a few bites of her oats, convincing that he needed some energy to get through the big day.

He remembered his heart literally stopping when he saw Hyeri in her wedding dress.

He remembered his whole body, mind and soul malfunctioning, because he was so awestruck by her beauty.

He remembered the way the wedding dress fit her body in the most perfect way possible, how that little bundle of stowaway hair fell over her forehead because of the wind.

He remembered how the setting sun's light reflected gently off her smooth, flawless skin.

He remembered being told to close his mouth, or a fly would go inside, and how he had to turn around to wipe his tears away.

He remembered saying the blessed words 'I do,' while holding her hand.

He remembered the way he had pulled Hyeri into their first kiss as a married couple, how their lips fit perfectly, how little butterflies erupted in his stomach.

He remembered falling in love with Kang Hyeri all over again.

xx

I do not recall writing this but I love how it turned out
what do you think made seungcheol turn into such an alcoholic?

[ May, 2023 ]