(Unwanted Series#6)
My eyes were stuck there while everything around me became useless and bland.
How I wished at this time I never came here to witness this. I looked at their hands laced together and smiling at everyone while the world was slipped...
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|| F A I S A L ||
I took a big puff of cigarette and stared blankly in the starless night through the smoke, standing on the balcony. I fisted my other hand on the railing, trying not to remember how I just touched another girl who was now my wife after breaking the heart of someone who was a world to me.
I had ruined so much, especially the life of these two girls. I took another puff and hit the railing with a fisted hand as what happened last night flashed in my mind. But the physical pain didn't take my mental or emotional pain away.
It was at this moment I wanted to cry or run away due to this mental war with myself. One after another cigarette, I tried to relive these emotions with the smoke escaping from my mouth but I couldn't forget the pain in her eyes when she witnessed me becoming someone else.
When the last cigarette fell, I just stood there blankly and numbly. Only when the sound of sheets shuffling I heard, I turned around and glanced at the girl with whom I just consummated. I gave this girl the place of my girl but I couldn't promise her a place in my heart.
This girl's existence would always remind me of what I had done to myself and others.
Remaining whole night I spent on the balcony standing in trance. Only when the sun rose, I went inside my room and took my clothes from the wardrobe then took a shower again, numbing my emotions and memories.
I laid beside Anmol and closed my eyes, feeling her turning to me and wrapping her bare arm around me.
"Did you smoke?" Her hush sleepy voice sounded with laziness.
Instead of answering, I hummed in response whilst one of the most beautiful memories flashed in my mind.
¶§¶§¶§¶§¶
"Oh my God! Did you smoke again? Can you please stop smoking, Faisal?" Saba asked me, narrowing her eyes at the cigarette in my hand.
This wasn't the first time she asked me to leave this habit but I couldn't do anything about it, however much I tried.
"Then how could I relieve my stress?" I asked her with a smile, throwing the cigarette and stomping on it.
"What kind of stress you have? Even if you have any stress, talk to me. We both will find a solution together," She took the cigarette box from my hand and threw it in the bin nearby.
I could only sigh at her behavior. Talking to her about my issues wasn't a good solution because she'd be ending up having my stress.
My hands itched to hold the cigarette box whilst my addiction was kicking in again slowly to take big puffs of cigarette.
