Handcuffed Rebel

23. A start

23. A start

Kaitlyn
After my visit to the hospital and after hearing what Niko said and did there wasn't a shadow of a doubt in my mind where I wanted us to go. I admit I wasn't sure before because I was holding on to the past. But if Niko can let go of his then so can I. It's time I stopped holding grudges. It's time I stopped being scared. It's time for me to truly claim Niko as my own. I've never really done that. I did say he was my boyfriend but I haven't really been a girlfriend to him to be honest. I owe it to him after what he did for me. I owe it to him to express myself to him like he's done so many times to me. But before I get to expressing love I have to admit it first. That meant telling him how I felt. That is the problem. I don't know how. I really didn't know Niko at all. That's what made doing this so hard.

"What can I help you with, Kaitlyn?" I didn't like the smug look on Caleb's face."

"I need some information."

"Sure. What kind of information?"

"Since you're his best friend I have no choice but to ask you." He smirked.

"You want dirt on Niko."

"I wouldn't say dirt really. I've come to the realization that I don't know that much about Niko. I'd like to fix that. I want to know his likes and dislikes." Caleb turned his full attention on me.

"Why don't you just ask him?"

"I'm asking you."

"What will I get in return?"

"Is there something in particular you want?"

"Nope. I just wanted to see how far you'd go to get the information you need. I'll even give you the most basic advice you could ever need when it comes to Niko."

"What's that?"

"Don't hide him. All he's ever wanted was a family and a woman to love him as much as he loves her. He doesn't like hiding or to be kept a secret." Caleb was definitely taking jabs at me. "If he's with you he'll want the world to know. He likes privacy but he doesn't mind showing off what's his and expects the same in return." Why did I feel so guilty when he said that?

"Got it. What does he like to do?"

"Do you even know him at all?"

"I don't. I admit that. That is why I'm trying to learn right now."

"Why not just ask him?"

"I want to surprise him. I want him to see that I made the effort to do something special for him because I care." Caleb smiled.

"Good. Niko likes football."

"You mean soccer?"

"I mean football. It amazes me how you still call the sport soccer after living in London for so many years."

"I wanted to be sure."

"He's a big football fan."

"I've never seen him watch football before."

"That's because all he wants to do when you're around is fuck."

"I'm going to ignore that." I took out my note pad and made a memo.

"He likes Spanish football." Caleb made a face.

"Let me guess. You like English football."

"That's a given."

"My word, how could you two ever have become friends," I said mockingly. Caleb went on to give me all the information I needed to know about Niko. I am ashamed to say I didn't know any of those things and I've been sleeping with this man every night. What I did learn was that Niko needed security. He had this fear that he would end up alone. That is why when nonno got sick he moved back home. That is why he got so upset when he thought I kept his son from him on purpose. And that's why he turned to drinking when he thought I'd left him. I was so stupid. There really was only one way to assure him.