life goes on

5 1 0
                                    


It took longer to start stalking Kai's social media, but once he started, he couldn't stop.

He felt a wave of fondness wash over him when he saw a post from a few days earlier, Taehyun and Kai eating Korean BBQ at a restaurant, identical wide grins and chopsticks raised high in the air in a toast.

He felt a pang in his heart when he saw a post of Kai and Heeseung kissing, a quickly caught selca in a park, small orange kittens around them, and puffy jackets to ward off the cold weather.

He followed their relationship through the eye of the lens, through the small snapshots of his life that Kai and his friends decided to show online. And all the while, life went on.

Wooyoung got a boyfriend, and the two were the most soulmate-ish freaky couple that ever existed to walk the Earth. Yeonjun and Yeosang were forced to take refuge in other close friends' houses, sexiled from their own apartment.

Yeonjun got a job at a local boba shop, flirting with the customers and plastering on a smile for the outside world to see. He came home late every night, exhausted from the late lecture classes he took, and then spent the night online, staring at the same pictures, torturing himself until exhaustion took over and he passed out, shaken awake in the morning by one of his roommates.

It was, what San (Wooyoung's boyfriend) called, the 'college experience'.




Time passed, and seasons changed. And Yeonjun stayed the same. Until...

"Morning." Soobin yawned into the receiver. "Aren't you supposed to be in class right now? What time is it in California anyway?"

"Nah, class got canceled." Yeonjun kicked a pebble in front of him as he walked, sticking close to the curb. "What's up?"

There was rustling on the other end, like Soobin had set the phone down and put him on speaker. "Ugh–what–oof–!"

"Bin-ah?"

"Shut-up-Kai's-here!"

Yeonjun went silent.

"You're back early. Aren't you and Seungie doing something today? ... huh? ... oh. I'm sorry... what?... why would he–... you... no, i don't think you're wrong for that, but..."

Yeonjun could hear disjointed pieces of conversation as Soobin talked to Kai and the boy, no doubt, signed back. His curiosity rose as the minutes passed by, Soobin's remarks becoming more and more cryptic.

Finally, there was more rustling, and Soobin's voice hissing into the speaker; "He's gone."

"What happened?"

Soobin stayed quiet for a few moments. "If I tell you, will it make a difference?"

"In what?"

"Nevermind. You'll find out eventually anyway."

"Find what out?" He was getting a little frustrated at this point. "Bin-ah, you're not making any sense."

"I'm giving you an ultimatum."

"Because that will clear everything up!"

"Don't get smart with me, Daniel."

"Don't call me Daniel."

"Isn't that what your US friends call you?"

"What do they have to do with this?" Frustrated, he kicked the pebble a little too hard, and it skittered away, down the nearby drain, disappearing from sight. From the opposite side of the road, a middle-aged lady watched him with a suspicious eye.

Yeonjun turned to her, fake-smiling and nodding his head in greeting as he passed. She didn't look any more appeased, and clutched her ugly purse tighter.

"You know what day it is today?" Soobin changed the subject again.

"Mm?" Yeonjun glanced down at the date on his phone. "The 14th?"

"Of?"

"February. Gosh, Bin-ah, did you hit your head or something?"

"And what happens on the 14th of February?"

Yeonjun had to think for a moment. "Oh. Valentine's day." His mood plummeted as he thought ahead to the shift he would have at the boba shop. It was going to be unbearable. What with all the pink decorations and hearts and sugary candies, and the dozens of University students cluttering the small shop to take their cute little photos for their Social Media pages.

"I can't believe you forgot."

"It's not a big deal to me, Bin-ah. What would I have planned for Valentine's Day?"

"Oh... I don't know..." His cousin sing-songed on the phone, dragging his words out. "A date? You told me you're roommates with this.. What's his name... Yuseong?"

"Yeosang?"

"Yeah, him."

Yeonjun felt a full-body shudder pass over him at the thought. "Oh hell no." His disgust was so obvious in his voice that Soobin burst into laughter, no doubt bent over at the waist and clutching his stomach back in Korea.

When the laughing fit finally passed, Soobin coughed a little, still chuckling as he grabbed his phone and made his way into a different room. His bedroom, Yeonjun guessed.

"Hold on, I gotta check on Kai." Soobin said, muting himself.

Yeonjun wished he didn't. He wanted to hear the interaction, to catch even the smallest sound of his friends' existence.

"Alright, I'm back." Soobin said a few minutes later.

"You got anything planned for Valentine's day?" Yeonjun asked lamely, wondering why the subject was brought up in the first place.

"Nah. Gonna watch a movie with the guys later, maybe just Kai if Beom and Tae are busy. You know me, I'm chilling."

"You mean you're lonely."

"No. I mean I'm chilling."

"And..." he paused, taking a deep breath. "And Kai?"

Soobin hummed on the other end of the line. "We're watching movies together after I finish the phone call. He just went out to buy some snacks."

"He's not spending today with... Heeseung?" His name tasted wrong in his mouth, unwelcome. He recognized all too well the feeling that brewed in his chest.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Gosh, at least try to hide some of that relief, will you?" Soobin reprimanded. "They broke up."

"Huh?" Yeonjun stopped in the middle of the street, dumbfounded.

"You heard me. They broke up."

"When?"

"Minutes ago. You heard Kai come home earlier? That was from their date. He–" Soobin cuts himself off. "Yeonjun."

"Mn?" His mind was spinning, the ground in front of him swaying.

"Promise me you won't do anything stupid."

"What would I do?" Yeonjun answered weakly. "Anyway, my shift starts in 5. Talk later?"

"Yeah. I'll call you back next weekend, okay? I think we both have things to think about."

"Mn." Yeonjun resumed walking across the small parking lot of his local mall. "Oh, and Bin-ah?"

"Yeah?"

"Happy Valentine's Day."

He heard his cousin's ringing laughter as he hung up, a stupid smile on his face as he pushed the door open, greeted with the nauseating smell of freshly baked sugar-cookies.

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