Dear Black Girl, It's Gonna Be Ok

Stepping in to my WOMAN Era

I know that your confused at the way that I named my title, but hear me out ok...

So I am about to be 23 years old next month right, so two weeks ago I started having my usual deep thinking session, and then I started thinking about my breast...I know I know weird way of thinking like why am I thinking about my own breast?

Well for one, they are really a good petite size, I can wear all of the cute C cup bras, I don't have back pains because of them (not shitting on the women that have big breast and back pains. Breast comes in different sizes and fonts) and I can wear t-shirts without any bra I own and free ball with out people knowing, that's if you looking too hard at my chest but moving on. My breast, well I like to call them tits, are the size they are because growing up I used to always wear bras when I go to sleep. This came about because I went back DEEP in my memory and starting thinking back when I was in grade school my chest started growing in, my mom took me to Walmart and got me those pre-teen training bras and I used to wear them all the time. I was still bird chested but they were poking out on me, then I started growing more and more into my height, features, and body image and my mom got me those clip bras. I realize I was growing into a woman, but I didn't like it. I didn't embrace it as much as I do now. I can remember my mom tried to get me to sleep with out my bra when she found out that I was sleeping in them, she told me to take it off and just lay down and sleep and I did. And as soon as I did I INSTANTLY got uncomfortable, they were sensitive because they were growing, to me they didn't feel right on my chest at the time and instantly I ran to my panty drawer and found me a bra and put it on. I didn't even like looking at them in the mirror.

For a long time I didn't like laying down in the comfortability of my home and in my room without my bra on my body. And what made it even worse, I was dealing with body dysmorphia I didn't like my body period growing up into my pre-teen years, my teenage years, and my late teens. When I turned 20, I was still wearing it then, I grew comfortable wearing it in all my years then by the time I was turning 22, out of nowhere I went into my mind and was like "lets try again after all these years of wearing bras to sleep and everywhere else. Just one night" and finally I did and I never once looked back wearing it again (except when I step out in public going to work) but stepping out in public on my own going for a walk in nature, or going to my favorite store in target or anywhere else when I can feel comfortable free balling and it be nobody's business, I am on a roll with my tits being free. This is not no "woman's body liberation" chapter that I'm talking about, this is just me finally growing into a woman, and I am loving this chapter in my life that I feel the most comfortable and confident in. My breast is barely there at times, when you look at the women in my family, they have breast, like I said before I have tits. I don't have a full chest and I am ok with that, one of my friends use to "make fun" of my tits because if you lined us up all together, I would be the only one with a small chest. My mom could come and tell you what I am telling you now. The women in my family and the women that I am friends with all have regular but big D cup breast and most of them have double D cup breast. But I've never felt out of line when I would recognize them, nor have they ever made me feel bad for having them, they would get in their feelings when we would talk about the small tata girls getting the luxury of having the cutest bras in A,B & C cup sizes. That is the one of the only one up that I have one them.

I love my small chest and I love that women have different sized breast and their confident with that. Yes there are always complications with breast period, but breast is a beautiful thing that a woman can be born with. There are women that don't like their breast and would rather have them surgically removed because their experiencing a transition, and that is ok as long as they love themselves. There are women who have no choice to have their breast surgically removed because of health complications, but for them to come out with a second chance at life they are the strongest women I know. I know I am making this book for other black girls and women to relate to, but this specific chapter, this goes o0ut for all women that have a pair of twins no matter how big or small. Because one thing I know when I get to the part in my life when I bring my children into this world my breast is gonna change for the better to nurse them to health, and on another bright side, my husband is gonna love them before our children, then he's gonna love them even more after them. I just know I am gonna be living the mothafuckin' life.

BREAST IS GREAT, BREAST IS BEAUTIFUL, BREAST IS AWSOME, BREAST IS A GIFT FROM ABOVE. Bre'ana