insufferable heartache

heartless

the next morning I woke up to the sun blaring in my eyes, I didn't want to get up so I buried my face in what I thought was the blanket before asking myself why my pillow was hard I look up to see tom, shirtless sleeping I smiled and got on top of him, waking him up with a kiss.

"good morning tom" I said softly as his eyes opened.

"hi princess. " Tom muttered as he rubbed his eyes before pulling me off of him and completely rolling us over. I giggled as he smiled at me while kissing my neck as he sat on top of me. Just then I realized I mustve had hickeys on my neck from last night. I panicked and sprung up from the bed and ran for toms bathroom. Tom followed me worried asking me if I was okay. I reassured him while looking at the marks he had left on my body.
"Tom, I have something to tell you.. " I muttered before he gave me a worried look.

"yes sweetheart?" he said while hugging me from behind.

"that.. last night was uhm.." I stuttered trying to explain.

"your first time?" Tom finished my sentence as I nodded as he hugged me and kissed me on my cheek softly. later in the day me and Tom walked downstairs together while everyone else ate breakfast. It seemed all the band members had a girl on their shoulders. Bills being Evelyn. I flinched as Gustav slapped what looked like his girlfriend. "you slut, get out!" Gustav yelled at the girl. My jaw dropped and Evelyn didn't even flinch. That had me thinking if she knew they would act like this and didn't make me aware. Just then Tom told me to sit by him with that same cold gaze as last night, as if he was mad at me which scared me but I didn't oblige.

"sorry Tom, can we go upstairs for a minute?" I said giving him "the look" he nodded and led me upstairs into his room closing the door behind him. As we got into the room everything clicked. Tom was in a gang, I had to be sure before I got involved. Tom turned around and looked at me with a concerned look

"what's wrong love?" Tom said as my face dropped.

"don't play dumb with me tom."

just then Tom smirked and dropped the "nice act". "thank god because I couldn't keep acting for one more minute."
my heart sank as I shivered.

"Tom.. what are you apart of?.." I said as he grinned.

Tom sighed before speaking "I am Tom kaulitz I'm surprised you haven't heard of me" Tom said before I cut him off

"and your in a gang, great." I said, crossing my arms before Tom lunged at me.

"now you understand." Tom said while grabbing my neck and pinning me against the wall. "and don't think for one second that you mean something to me, your my pet now and that means you listen or pay for not listening."

I choked on my words as Tom was still holding my neck before picking my knee up and hitting him in his balls with it. Causing him to back up, "I'm not gonna leave you Tom but for starters, I'm not your pet and I don't want to even go to anywhere the "gangs" meet up." I stood their confidently as Tom got more angry this time holding me tighter looking at my like a whole new person before he grabbed my hair and threw me onto the floor repeatedly.

"Tom please.. I'm sorry!" I managed to get out before everything went fuzzy and black followed by toms voice saying

"Zara?"

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hi guys!! I'm sorry I can't finish this right now but I will definitely add to it when I get a chance! Thank you for the support xoxo 💋