insufferable heartache

on again, off again.

the next day everything was about the same, i stopped trying to run and tom would occasionally take me to the market, it felt normal somewhat. everybody was downstairs eating breakfast when for what felt like the first time i met georg. his long hair shining in the kitchen light. i quickly took my eyes off of georg as he sat down as tom quickly made an observation looking and georg, then me. i put my head down and played with the food on my plate. trying to avoid eye contact with tom who seemed to be mad at my staring at georg which made me laugh a little in my head. tom caught me smiling while looking down at my plate and quickly made a gesture for me to follow him, so i did. i led me into his room and he instantly grabbed my neck pinning me on the wall.

"what were you smiling about? was it georg?" tom urged

"n..no" i said trying to catch my breath before tom let me go so i could speak.

"i dont like georg, ive just never seen him before." i added.

"oh really?" tom said with a smirk.
 
"whats it to you anyway? im just your little pet, right?" i said in a annoyed tone.

"dont do that." tom replied to my snarky comment.

"dont do what? tell the truth?" i said, my voice getting louder.

just then tom grabbed my waist and pulled me close to him instantly making me shut up at his touch. "i love you, even if sometimes i cant." tom said.

"yeah okay." i said , pushing tom off of me angrily glaring at him. i wanted to make him mad, jealous. so i went down stairs and sat on the couch, next to georg.

"hi im zara"

"i know, ive heard of you." georg replied.

"i never learned your name." i said acting like i didnt know his name.

"georg, im georg." he said, shaking my hand.

"nice to meet you georg." i smiled, he seemed so polite.

"you know.. tom has never been like this over one of his pets before." georg said.

"like what?" i replied, confused.

"like... in love." georg said leanaing back adjusting his posture in the seat.

"hes not in love with me." i scoffed.

"really? is that what you believe?" georg laughed.

"yes, i do" i said tilting my head slightly still smiling to see a dark figure behind georg, it was tom. my smile dropped, instantly getting up to stay by toms side. tom grabbed my wrist tightly causing me to wince in pain.

"ow..tom stop that hurts." i whispered.

"who do you think you are?" tom said, gripping my hand tighter.

"nobody..im nobody! please tom let me go!" i replied almost starting to cry before tom made a comment that made my blood go cold.

"you look fat, eat less." tom said releasing my wrist from his grasp. making me remember everything i went through in the past.

(backstory)

i had an ed in high school because i would get made fun of for being fat. it brought back the days i woke up in the hosptial crying because i had passed out from not eating, i hated tom for making me relive that.

i watched as tom smirked knowing what he had just said as i walked away, locking myself in his room and throwing  on my baggiest clothes trying to cover up my "fat" the next few days i didnt eat, or next few weeks. i went 3 weeks without eating before i passed out in the kitchen infront of tom and the others, i woke up in toms bed looking around the room before getting up, my head spinning as i walked to the bathroom and looked at myself. i still looked fat, and dead too. i openend toms door, slowly walking down the big hallway and making my way downstairs to see everyone turn to look at me.

"good your awake. whyd you pass out?" tom questionend me.

"i uh..dont know." i said smiling.

"i mustve not drank enough water." i added as tom rolled his eyes and grabbed my arm practically dragging me back to his room before throwing me on the floor. i didnt want to fight back, i was to weak.

"tell me the real reason you passed out zara." tom said in a rude tone.

"i did." i replied back.

"i dont believe you, we've barely talked the past 3 weeks." tom said visibly annoyed.

"yeah because your a self centered jerk." i said with a angrier tone then before.

"come to think about the last time you really talked to me.." tom said thinking before his face dropped and he lifted up my shirt staring and my skin and bones underneath. i quickly pushed his hand away and pulled back down my shirt.

"im fine." i said rolling my eyes as tom stood there still shocked, before he pulled me into a hug.

"im sorry.." tom apologized and i stood in his arms, dropping my weight as my body went limp and everything went fuzzy, then dark.

i woke up in the hosptial, alone.

"hello?" i called out.