insufferable heartache

bill.

i woke up in toms room and looked around, tom wasnt in the room i didnt care if he was or not but something seemed off. i walked downstairs and nobody was home, not even evelyn. I roamed the house, unsure if i should leave or not. i made my way upstairs and into toms room i opened his bathroom door that was connecting with his bedroom, i walked in and locked the door behind me, twisted the shower handle and began to remove my clothes. i took off my shirt slowly and removed my shorts and underwear. i got in the shower and turned the heat almost all the way up, it felt so good and i didnt know why, all i knew was that i liked the feeling. it had been almost an hour before i heard a knock on the door,

"zara? you ok in there?" it was bill, he seemed more concerend than usual.

"yea im fine!" i yelled back over the sounds of the shower.

"ok, we need you out here you have 15 mins!" bill yelled back.

i huffed and turned off the shower and wrapped myself into a towel before opening the door, bill was still standing there and raised an eyebrow.

"are you ok?" bill questioned.

"yea." i replied.

"yea ok, you have steam coming off your skin, your obvisouly trying to burn something off." bill added, annoyed.

"fuck off." i snapped before walking away making sure that i hit his shoulder with mine. i walked away and glared at him motioning for him to get out, just then bill locked the bedroom door and inched closer to me pushing my hair behind my ear before grabbing my hand.

"whats wrong?" he asked once again.

"nothi-" something in my body told me to trust him.

"um.. i know i should feel happy but i feel..empty? im not sure i need my meds." i said.

"what meds?" bill questioned.

"i um have bipolar." god was this awkward, i watched bills eyes widen.

"ill take you to get some today." bill replied.

"okay." something came over me, he looked just like tom just nicer. i glanced at the door making sure it was locked and looked back at bills dark brown eyes, before i lent in and kissed him, he kissed me back. he grabbed my waist and pulled me close kissing down my neck as we moved to the bed bill got on top of me, kissing me passonitely.

"bill.." i whispered

bill stopped kissing me and looked into my eyes. "yes?"

"you know i cant do this, i would be betraying tom and evelyn."

"who cares? tom shouldnt care after all your just his 'pet' and evelyn just isnt enough. to be honest, your friend isnt that great in bed."

part of me wanted to be mad but i couldnt help but giggle, i wanted him.

"ok." i whispered before continuing to kiss him.

**
i got home an hour after bill and heard noises coming from upstairs, i walked up the stairs to hear the noise coming from my room i tried to open the door but it was locked so i knocked.

"bill?" i called.

"sorry tom me and evelyn couldnt make it to my room, its so far down the hall." bill yelled.

i rolled my eyes and walked away to look for zara, i headed downstairs looking around.

**

me and bill waited for tom to walk away as we heard his footsteps walk down the stairs we jumped up and got dressed i ran out of the room and bill went and took evelyn from his and went into toms room to cover up what we were doing. i ran into the guest bathroom and fixed my hair and makeup, i applied perfume to hide any scents and walked out of the room as i saw tom walk up the stairs looking around.

"zara?" he called out.

i stepped out of the room while putting my hair into a low ponytail tom looked at me before saying

"where were you?"

"i was using the restroom in that room since bill and evelyn cant control themselves." i joked, he was completely oblivous.

"oh ok" tom replied as he inched closer to me and grabbed my waist.

i flinched thinking that he knew about me and bill somehow.

"is everything ok?" tom asked, concern in his voice.

"yes..im just a little jumpy today." i laughed it off and kissed him softly as he kissed me back.

tom grabbed my waist and began to get more needy annoyed that we couldnt use his room he pulled me into the guest bedroom and locked the door behind us. i felt so guilty, unsure of what to do.

tom got on top of me and something in me just snapped. i pushed tom off of me and got up and began to fix myself.

"did i do something?" tom questioned.

"no i just.." i paused.

"just what?" he said sounding more annoyed.

tom had never really forced himself onto me, he loved me. and i was ready to use him for it.

i turned around and continued kissing him.

he smiled and looked at me.

"cant seem to take your hands of me can you?" he said jokingly.