chapter 13- mattys version

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mattheo returned to his dorm. he dreaded having this "chat" with blaise. he didn't need to explain himself, nor was he going to. charlotte was charlotte, no explanation needed. he was drawn to her like bees to honey, like flies to the fire. there was no stopping it even if he wanted to, which he didn't. there was no way to describe how he felt about her. to him, she was the most beautiful girl in the world, and the smartest, too. there was nothing she did that could make him stop feeling like this, whatever it is, and that both excited and terrified her.

as soon as he entered the dorm, blaise was sitting on the end of his bed with a tub of cookie dough ice cream, looking at him expectantly.
"so?" he asked excitedly.
"what?" mattheo asked, rolling his eyes.
"what's up with you and black?" blaise clarified.
"nothing," he said, annoyed.
"yeah okay that's why you two were taking a snooze all over eachother," blaise continued with a smirk.
"shut the fuck up," mattheo said.
"okay," he said with a laugh, "but that doesn't change whatever's going on with you and blacky."
"don't call her that, what the fuck?" mattheo said with a laugh, "what kind of shitty nickname is that?"
"the kind she gets," blaise declared.
"sure," mattheo laughed.

he crawled into his bed and went to sleep, thinking of charlotte. he knew that when he woke up, things would change. school would be out, and realistically, he wouldn't see his as often as he wished he could, but he wouldn't let that bother him. he knew they were meant to be together, nothing could ruin that. their relationship, no matter what type it was, was one of the most important things in the world to him. he wouldn't let anyone or anything come in between them. he would do anything for her, anything at all.

the next morning, he went to her dorm bright and early, he walked with her to breakfast, and sat with her when they ate. he knew it was probably the last time he'd see her for a while, and he knew he had to make the most of his time left with her, no matter what. she was special to him, in a way no one else has been. he didn't know how, but she took over almost every aspect of his life, in as little as a month.
"what are we gonna do tomorrow?" charlotte asked him quietly over lunch.
"i'm not sure," he confessed, because it was true. he had no idea what would become of them once summer started. he didn't know if they would owl, if they would hangout, or if they would even stay friends. of course, he hoped they would do all three of those things, but it really wasn't in his control.
"oh," charlotte said quietly, "well what do you want to do?"
"talk to you,"mattheo assured her, "always," he added after a moment.

charlotte smiled, and he was glad of it. he loved when she smiled, especially when she did it at him. he loved seeing her happy, and the more and more he thought about it, the more he was sure that he loved her. all these things he loved about charlotte, made him love her. he looked over at her, eating a burger, and he wondered when things changed. when had he grown to love the girl he used to hate so adamantly? how had this happened? he had no idea, and he had a feeling he would never know. he loved her, and he feared that now that school was ending, he would never be able to tell her. the thought was unbearable. he didn't want to ruin anything, and he knew that if you told her, it would.

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