Vanya

An unwanted crown

Hollow.

Every corridor, every room, every garden, every space, everything was hollow and quiet like the dead. I am not pretending that my home was the most lively palace around, yet it certainly was not this dull, this lifeless. I hated every piece of absurd art they hung up on every wall, hated how I had absolutely no hand in any of it whatsoever. Back home, every piece was selected carefully by me, collected from artists all around my kingdom. My god! I miss my own prison. I suppose humans would take the known over the unknown, any day of the year, and I was no different.

It did not slip my mind that none of my court ladies were with me, and I knew exactly why. This Roman pawn thinks he can outsmart me by telling my father he wanted 'people he could trust to care for his dear queen' people he knew would report my every word and every move. How clever.

No one cared really to a new woman roaming the palace like it is her life quest. Not saying that being a beautiful vase back at home would have been great but it most certainly is better than walking around here with absolutely nothing to do and strangers staring at me all day long like I was a walking amusement. At least, the women where I am from have duties. Here, from what I gathered, women are only good for one thing and one thing only; childbearing. I am not in the least bit surprised.

It is exhausting and soul crushing to have to fight everyone every day, to simply make a decision of your own without the hovering of a man who thinks he has every right over your entire existence, your thoughts, your feelings and even your prayers. Funny how they play those cards for and against you whenever they feel like it.

"Your grace? Her highness is asking for you." Stopping in my tracks, a young lady tells me there is in fact something to do, if it weren't too troubling I would have gratefully hugged her for giving my day a purpose.

"Lead the way." with a nod, she picked up her pace leading me through the many stairs and corridors of this massive place, never once stopped speaking highly of this so called lady whom I grew extremely excited to meet by the minute.

"Her highness is ready for you." I assumed she had to be a family member of Roman's, given the title. I was not wrong.

"Vanya, correct?" Many wrinkles around her eyes and her forehead, her face looked kind despite how she kept constantly biting on her lips, looking anxious and uneasy as if waiting for an impending doom.

"Correct. And you, your highness?" I was not sure how to address her and I don't believe that what I said was laughable, yet there she was laughing her soul out. Is this real?

"Oh dearest, you needn't worry, I am Roman's mother, I apologize for not attending the ceremony last night, you see, my health is not in place these days." She made her point clear with a series of coughs in between every other sentence. Well, I thought the mother would be harsher, maybe even treat me like I was trying to tear her down, the usual. I guess not. How this sweet woman brought a man like Roman into this world was absolutely beyond me.

"Honored and delighted to finally meet you, your highness." I was going for a simple hand shake but remembered that it was probably not the best idea when greeting a queen, a curtsy shall suffice had I not forgotten how. I gave it my best efforts, she can decide whether it was 'suitable' and 'elegant enough' or not. I did not care.

"It is great to meet you as well, the new queen. How exciting! I have been telling my king for so long how we needed to step away and let our son and his long awaited wife handle the stressful matters of this palace and this country. I am sure you will be of great support to our new king, your husband. I want you to always remember that you are a wife to him first, then his queen. The other way around never works, never right. Don't you agree?" Giving me the sweetest smile, Ending her 'advice' with a kind tone that sent an unsettling feeling in my stomach.

I, in fact, did not agree. But I also was no fool to go around running my mouth about the rights of women to an ancient like her who did not know the world unless it was ruled under the mercy of a man. And she was polite, why would I provoke a meaningless disagreement with her? So I nodded, like the sweet helpless queen that she envisions me to be.

I do not remember much after that but I do know she kept talking my head off about her lovely son and how dedicated he was for the betterment of his people. How typical.

"Oh! I can see I bore you out with this talk but you can't possibly blame me for being proud of my son, there is no feeling like it, Vanya, the feeling of seeing your own offspring rule so naturally like that. Hopefully one day you will experience that wonderful feeling." There it is, my only mission in life, children, children, and more children. We will see about that, your highness.

"Oh trust me, I do not blame you for it, in fact, I think it is beautiful; how proud you are of your king, truly touching." I tried using my most polite tone ever, but I can clearly see that my response bothered her, a lot. Oh well.

"I will see you soon, dearest. I believe that is all for today. Do not forget that I am still your queen, until you are crowned. The crown here is not that piece of jewelry, not the real one any way, it is a child." Wonderful. Consider me stripped of that crown then. Not that I wanted it in the first place.

How long was she talking about her dear king/child? I could see the beautiful darkening sky while the sun was setting.

I was tired and bored out of my mind that I headed to the first garden in my way, not that I knew much about gardening, but I did like watching gardeners tend to their plants, in a way, every gardener was an artist and the very grounds were their canvas. It was beautiful, and a little something I shared the love of with my mother, or so I was told.

"Seeking refuge from the despicable silence of the palace? The first day here is always the hardest." A man said, right behind me, and he was not wrong at all.

To say I was not disappointed to turn around and put a face to the voice would be an understatement. He was beautiful. And I could not take my eyes away.

"Indeed, I am. It is dreadful in there, you should try holding a heavy crown on your head and walking around for hours only to end up achieving nothing." The words kept coming out of my mouth so naturally, I was not dragging them out like I normally do when speaking to strangers.

"Wow. That horrible? They certainly make it look more pleasing and tempting in books." I laughed and a beautiful beaming smile broke off on his face, this man is interesting, to say the least.

"Oh trust me, nothing is real once it's written down on paper. Everything loses some of its essence in the process of leaving the mind and settling in the pages."

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Another one since it's been too long :) Enjoy and feel free to leave a vote (and a comment!) while reading in case you enjoyed it.

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