Vanya

Greed: the root of sin

"Well it's been years, wife. I think this whole thing has run its course and the clever thing for us both to do is to stop this childish bickering and fighting. We are going to be the people that this kingdom relies on, after all. Am I wrong to want what's better for my people? You out of them all should understand." He looked deep into my eyes and there was barely any emotion in his, they were simply looking at me, studying me, with no hints of interest or judgment. That made my heart drop a little.

"You aren't wrong, they are your people, this is your kingdom, your palace, your home, this is all yours and none of it concerns me at all, you see, I did not care for nor want your kingdom or your people, all I have ever wanted was back home, and you took me away, and you didn't bother to ask me, not once, how it all affects me. I mean, losing your crown and everything else you have been training for your whole life? You out of them all should understand." This time I couldn't for the life of me hide the pain and the feeling of betrayal out of my voice, it was all over it, all over the way words came out of my mouth; wounded and defeated. I was tired and longing for home. For my own personal dungeon that I decorated.

He got up and walked up to me in confidence. His hands took mine and squeezed it in assurance. "Why won't you just look around you for a moment? All of this is yours to rule, your father made you a queen just like he promised, and I did not say I wanted my woman weak or uninterested in ruling this kingdom with me." It was truly terrifying, there was no malice whatsoever in his tone, no strange looks, no deceiving smiles, his tone sounded raw, real. It was deeply unsettling.

"Yes well, consider me the greediest of them all, for I refuse to take your crumbs and live off whatever you graciously decide to give me, I was the only ruler. Damn you, Roman, damn you and every other man who is responsible for putting me in such position, in such pain. I will not forget nor succumb without a big, big fight. I hope you are prepared for more of this stupid exhausting charade between us." I was mere inches away from him, and the way his hands aggressively let go of mine was enough of an answer, pawn dearest does not know how to take rejection well. It always was like this with men, anyhow. They have a serious issue with any woman who knows how to use the word NO with ease.

"You do realize you are asking me for your own misery, yes?" The pure aggression in his tone did not scare me, and I was growing tired of this entire day, a day spent between Roman and his despicable mother. I do not know how I am still standing after all of this work.

"Yes, Roman. I am aware. Can we drop this matter for tonight? I've had enough of you for a day." I did not understand why he was so aggravated with me that night, why he wanted me to be on his side so badly. It was as if every word I uttered burned him to different levels. But then again, I never understood anything when in it came down to this particular man.

"All right. Remember that this was your decision and not mine. Now, would you get the hell out of my chambers?" That was not going to happen, not after I found out queen dearest has her spies all over the place and she will be the first thing I see tomorrow with that ugly frown of hers. Pure horror.

"I think I will sleep by your side tonight, you know, for this whole joke of a marriage to go on." He got up suddenly after what I said, looking like a man who has heard the most devastating news of all. It was adorable.

"You know if you kill me in my sleep they will know it was you, so beware." It wasn't necessarily funny, but I sure laughed like I haven't in a while.

"Stop it, I have not gone mad yet, so I would say you are safe." He smiled, he bloody smiled at me and it was so... natural. Not that any of his smiles looked ugly or hard on the eyes, this man was beautiful and I am not one to shy away from admitting the plain truth.

"Good night, wife." that word was not said in anger this time, he said it in a calm tone that sent a strange wave of ease into my body.

"Turn to the other side and stop looking my way, husband." That got a stifled laugh out of him, I did not know what else he expected, anything other than that safe distance between us would just be misplaced and agonizingly awkward.

Sometimes, I get these moments when I just hope and wish so naively for simpler days, days when I don't have to be so strong and so alone and so hurt. Life would be so much easier, had I been born a simple, silly man. Yet I knew it was all just wishful thinking.

"Your father, he respects you immensely, you know." I was about to drift to sleep when those stabbing words came out of his mouth. I was aware that he did not know nor understand the actual relationship me and my father had. I knew he did not mean to reopen some wounds, but at that moment I did not have the ability to think straight at all. In mere moments, I was holding a dagger to his neck and he was trying to get out of my grip. It triggered me, and I was not proud of it.

"One more bloody word about me and my father and you may not live to see tomorrow, you disgusting scum." I couldn't stop until I felt a few drops of blood on my sleeve, bloody hell.

I was right under him in moments after I loosened my grip a little. He was furious, and it was dark, all I could see was the silhouette of his hands trying to take my dagger away.

"You haven't gone mad? Then what the hell do you call this? Attacking your king in his bed? Do you want your head cut off? Tell me!" I shook my head, violently, and he slowly moved his hands away from my lips. How could I ever tell him that I get like this, so defensive, the moment somebody mentions my father's opinions of me? Good lord, I was not thinking!

"I did not mean to hurt you, I swear it! It's just a trigger, all soldiers have one and you must understand it. For I am sure you have one of your own. You shouldn't have talked about me and my father, not like that. I hated it."

I could feel his unsteady breaths over my neck, he was trying to compose himself. I disrespected him on a whole new level and I was not sure he will ignore this one like he ignored the rest of what I did. This was not good, not in the slightest.

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Hello readers! This chapter was incredibly interesting to write, and I am excited to know what you guys think might happen next.

I hope you enjoyed reading this one,
Until next time.