Vanya

The last one standing

"Separate chambers? How absurd! Why would you do this to yourself, to your marriage? How will my son ever trust you, now that he knows you do not want or like his company?" The concern in her tone was truly laughable, and I would have laughed, had the matter not been very, very serious.

"Let me be frank with you, your highness. He was the one who asked me to leave him be. He does not tolerate me, not one bit, and I have tried! I really tried to get him to like me but he only seems to shut me out. I do not know what I must do, so I, being the hopeless wife that I am, could not do anything but listen and succumb to his orders. Please, tell me, what must I do to get my husband on my side? For I am tired and full of heartache." There was nothing else to be done, I had to play the hopeless wife card, otherwise she would have shamed me until her last breath, and I simply would not have it.

Now that I think about it, Roman must've known it would cause a scandal of some kind for me to sleep in a separate room the night after the wedding, good lord, that man is evil. I am not one to shy away from evil, I happen to be drawn to it, to its danger. May the last one standing win.

"Oh! Dear child, you could have just spoken to me about it! I would have told you how my son has a bit of a problem when it comes down to sharing his personal spaces, sure, he will be harsh at the beginning but they all are at first. We have all experienced it, to some levels, it is part of becoming queen, all you need to do is to keep trying and you shall see his heart opening to you and to your devotion, it is really that simple, dearest." I wanted to rip her head off, right then and there. Instead, I smiled and nodded like the concerned little wife that I am supposed to be. Patience isn't hard for me, I was well trained for it, after all. I did pray to whoever was there, that this woman suffers, at least during her last days. Her deceiving kindness has to be a sin in some religious beliefs. She was infuriating.

"Now, go see where he is, greet him, ask him about his days, that sort of thing, you cannot just sit around and do nothing all day, that won't make him respect you, sweet angel." Respect? Him? She must be some kind of a madwoman to think I ever will care about gaining any sort of respect or anything else from that pawn. I must get out of here before I cause myself another scandal, an unforgivable one this time.

"Yes, your highness. I agree. I must go to see my husband now, would you mind?" She waved her hand as a sign of her agreement with what I said, telling me to go. Thank the gods.

"Of course, dearest. It is your duty after all, have a nice time with your king, child." I did not miss the utter belittling and disrespect in her tone, she was calling me a child because I did not, in her mind, tend to my husband or my 'duties' therefore I was not worthy of any title, how scary.

I got up right after she made her opinions clear, not sparing her waning figure any more glances. I was ready to cut Roman's head off this time, but I guess ignoring him and his mother will kill his fire faster. There was nothing I loved more than letting a man know how worthless he really is to my eyes, if he thought I could not go without this marriage, he was solely mistaken, for two can play this game of cruelty.

"Lose the frown, wife. It makes you look like you actually have a say in this idiotic charade." Words. They were just words. But why did they cut so deep? With sharp edges, with cruel fingers choking my neck? Why did he sound so detached, so unbothered? I hated him. I hated him more when he was calm and composed, his face the complete opposite of my tortured one. How dare he be so unhurt? So satisfied in the storm of my own mess, my own pain?

"That is my face, pawn. I cannot change it, and I do not apologize for it, not one bit." I tried to hide the anger in my voice, the utter hatred and disgust that was radiating from my insides. Roman had that much of an effect on me and my body, unfortunately.

"Oh, I wouldn't apologize either, if I had quite the lucky upbringing you had. I suppose you felt entitled to everything all the time and now it is sending you into a spiral, being entitled to absolutely nothing, and all that. Tragic, wouldn't you agree?"

Deep breaths. In. Out. Do not hold your dress tightly, do not show any signs of a crack, do not give him a way in.

"Aren't you quite the observant one? Your obsession with my way of life is truly sad, I mean, your own life must be so unfulfilling you can't help but try to analyze and memorize every little detail of mine. Tragic, wouldn't you agree, husband?" To say that the irony was dripping from my tone would be putting it lightly, he was furious, he didn't show it, of course, but his tight fist and tightened jaw told me plenty. Frankly, I could congratulate myself for a job well done.

"You know, I cannot wait for that day when your tongue is tied and you show me the respect a wife must show her husband and her king, trust me, I will not wait long. I can see it coming and my excitement grows by the day knowing this fact." Holding onto a tiny thread of hope, I see.

"Well, that sounds realistic. Unlike you being a king." This was his last straw for the day, he did not say anything back, did not look much at me after, leaving me with a "I will see you in my chambers, wife." And I had a feeling it was not going to be for the sake of lighthearted conversation.

I truly do not know what it is I was expecting after such command from him, but it sure wasn't him sitting on the edge of the bed, shirt buttons loose and his hair in a mess. God, how could one hate someone so much yet be so interested in them?

"Come here." Putting his hand right next to him, he was speaking of madness, of course. I was not going another foot near that man until he makes his intentions clear.

"We need to talk it out, Vanya. This is not working." moving his hand back and forth between us, he was beginning to sound like a man losing. For some reason, it bothered me more than it relieved me.

"Talk what out, exactly? You agreed to marry me knowing I hated your guts, you did not care for how I felt or what I wanted, why would I care now for what you want? For how you feel? I do not care if 'this' burns your whole palace down. I do not care how this affects your royal life, your duties, so I sincerely suggest you lose the soft tone and try to make your way into a new fight or something of the sort, because nothing else will ever happen between us, not respect, not compatibility, and definitely not peace."

He anxiously messed his hair up even more, and with a deep, disappointed breath he let out, his body was now laying on the bed, while his arm rested on his chest. "I suppose this means we still go on with this game of you hating me and me being absolutely vexed with your mere existence, yes?" I nodded, knowing he was looking at the roof and would probably not see it, but silence is an answer, or so they say.

It may be a silly game to him, but I was not playing along, that's for sure.

"Rest assured, Roman, I hate you, and it's not because I am playing some game with you."