Vanya

A true swordsman

"That grip was impressive, to say the least. Whoever trained you knew what they were doing, I shall admit." No longer unsteady, his breathing calm and collected, his tone the same as always; confident and composed. I am impressed, I shall admit. He got off of me right after that, and he did not say much after.

The room no longer dark, he was trying to stop the bleeding using some random white cloth, not a clever choice of colors, but I will not argue with this man, not after what I have just done. He could have killed me by now and no one will blame him for it, not even my dear old father.

"Would you ever bother to offer me some help? I stopped the bleeding but I need to clean up your mess." My mess being his blood-stained neck, and those white clothes, of course. No arguing, no fighting. I happen to value my life.

"Yes of course, pardon me." I would ask for a bowl of water, had this situation been different, now I suppose I will have to fetch it myself.

"Where the hell are you going?" I turned around and I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

"I will get some water so I could properly clean your wound, wait for me.  I shall be here in a moment."

I couldn't find it right away, but eventually I was there, tiptoeing my way back into his chambers. Praying that nobody saw me on the way out or back in.

"At last, the queen arrives." He said, as sarcastic as one can sound.

"Oh shut it, I had to look everywhere for this, now, sit here and let me clean this up for you."

I do not exactly understand the reason behind his smile in such times, yet I was not one to complain when things turn out in my favor.

"Would you please sit still? I cannot clean this properly with you moving so much!"

"It's a wound, wife, a wound that you are touching with a wet cloth, it burns, it is natural, I am human after all, you do realize that, do you not?" I was so close to him I could slap him, but of course I was much more mature than that, so I just nodded and kept going.

"You know, I really did not mean to hurt you, I realize we are 'enemies' or rivals or whatever they call this nowadays, but I never intended to hurt you in such sneaky cowardly approach. For that I do apologize." He looked so fondly at me, as if his chest was full of respect for me at that moment. I knew it was a momentarily act but, I think it made me a little dizzy.

"Look at you, apologizing for the approach of the attack, not for the attack. Spoken like a true swordsman, I think we should have a match sometime, see who the better soldier is, what do you think?"

"You will be on the ground after a few moments in such fight, you do know that, right?" I knew I could take him, whether he found that funny or not, I think we both secretly knew that (considering what happened tonight.)

"We shall see."

* * *

"Going somewhere?" That voice again, only this time I was utterly displeased with the idea of having another absurd conversation with Roman's brother, now that I have an idea of where his intentions are.

Do I really have to get my fair share of every member of his family, every single day? Death does not sound so horrible right at this moment.

"I would love to speak with you, I really would, but you see, I have many duties that need my immediate attention and this is not the right time for a conversation. My apologies." It did not get unnoticed, that strange frown on his strange face. Whatever the issue was with this man, it was making me deeply unsettled. For some odd reason, my gut tells me he is the one I should fear, not Roman, not Roman at all. Why did he not get the crown, anyhow? He was the oldest, from what I have gathered. Unless he's a bastard son? That can't be right! Not that it was uncommon for kings to have their fair share of mistresses; it was Roman's father in particular, he did not seem like the type to do that, too much of a focused man, I do not think he would tarnish his peace of mind for a mere mistress, that wouldn't make any sense...

"Oh, that's alright. I shall see you some other time, then?"

I nodded in absolute delight because I wouldn't have to deal with another miserable Elrodian, those people have serious melancholic souls, and I feel like their melancholy is taking me away from who I am, from what it felt like to be at home, to be in control, to know who you are and where you stand in this wounded world, their chaos is making me write sentimental poems about nostalgia; and if that's not what insanity is then I do not know what is. These thoughts make me shudder every time.

"You talk too much of pain, of bereavement, of betrayal, but what exactly do you know about it? Have you ever been in real battle grounds? Have you ever watched one of your best men stabbed to death, his body right at your feet? While you watched the life drain out of his pleading eyes? Have you ever had to toss a body around to move properly, to face the enemy? You talk too much of fear, of injustice, of being wounded, and of not knowing where you stand, but have you ever felt the blood of your friend run all over your clothes while they are dying in your arms? What do you know of that? I do not say that men are saints, but they sure do experience pain and loss and misery every single time they go to battle. And for what? For a place that will probably forget about them completely when the time is right? Stop complaining like a spoiled bastard and start living according to the miserable role that this world has already set up for you! This life? all nothing but a play that someone wrote in mockery."

Sudden strong memories of that one 'speech' my father gave me one time the moment he saw my 'long' face -as he described it- were invading my mind. I remember it every once in a while ever since, and sometimes, it makes me wonder if this 'battle' of my own is even worth all this trouble. My father and I do not agree on lots of matters, one of them happens to be the very reason why we exist. Yet, ever since that speech, I can feel his own fears and pains in my gut, and I know it changed me, in a way. He isn't so unexplainable and so 'distorted' anymore; I mean, for certain moments, I do think I understand him a little bit better. He isn't all corrupt and rotten, some of him is scared and unsure of life, just like me, just like us all.

I wonder why he thought marrying me off was the safest plan for me and for my people...

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Wasn't so late on the update this time (; I wish everyone an enjoyable read!

Thank you for reading thus far.