Sparks Fly | ✓

0:54

"I'll be honest, when you first told me about leaving — and that you wanted to have your sessions online, I did not think you'd come back to Chicago like you'd said." Fatima shared, leaning back in her seat.

Shane simply smiled, not blaming her for having that kind of a mindset about her. If there was one thing she had become good at, it was running away when things got emotionally challenging.

"I'll be honest, I said I would come back, but I had half the mind to actually move. Things would have been easier that way." She shrugged, comfortably sitting on her favorite bean bag.

"How was the month and some change, away? I know we spoke over Teams almost every day, but I'd love to hear your reflection on how everything has been, when you put the whole month together." She smiled, once again not holding any notebook in front of her.

Over the past few weeks, their relationship had somewhat grown, and somehow, in some way, Fatima had gained an inkling of Shane's trust.

"I think it was beneficial. I don't think I came back in the same state that I was in before. I don't think I could have made as much progress in Chicago, than I did at home. It's helped me build a relationship with my mother from scratch – which wouldn't have happened if I was all the way here."

"I won't say my mother and I are the best of friends now," she softly chuckled, "but I will say that I don't hold any grudges when it comes to her. I don't hate her. Quite frankly, I'm learning to trust her with my love again. So it's steady, and slightly stable." She explained with so much passion.

"My relationship with God, wow. Didn't think I'd ever say that, has gotten so much better. I've been reading Romans, it's not a very friendly book, but it's kind of been shifting my perspective on how I should hold myself. I won't say it's been easy, because I'm still Shane – I mean Shanae, at the end of the day. Still feel very entitled to my emotions, but I can say I've been trying to be gentle. To accept gentleness, because with gentleness comes letting go of all the anger, and the rough edges. Definitely still rough around the edges though, don't get that mistaken. " She chuckled, and this time Fatima joined her.

"Be kind to yourself." Fatima advised in response.

"That's another thing I've been trying to do. Very hard to do, but it's on my to do list." She gave a thumbs up, and Fatima was rather impressed by the demeanor she could see right before her.

She could visibly tell that the Shane who walked into her office a few weeks ago, and the Shanae that was seated before her were two different people. She was seeing so much growth in such a short space of time, and she could not wait to see the person she would be by the time she let her go into the world by herself.

"You are not meant to be perfect, admit that to yourself. You are forever growing in your life, so be kind to yourself when you make a mistake. When you see that you are not where you would have liked to be at a certain time, be graceful, take that as a growing opportunity — don't be frustrated. Okay?"

A small smile surfaced on Shanae's face, her heart felt so warm hearing all these words from her therapist. "I'll try my very best." She promised.

"Speaking of to-do lists, tell me what's on your to-do list for this month. Your opportunities for growth..." Fatima leaned back into her seat, crossing her one leg over the other.

"Okay, let me just open up my notes — in case I miss anything." Shane freely responded, briefly smiling at her lockscreen which had them looking straight at her. She didn't waste much time, already feeling her heart squeeze so warmly.

She couldn't believe that he'd managed to magically worm himself into her heart, so much so that she felt so deeply about him. The infatuation simply felt like an unending high, a high she did not want to come down from.