PETRICHOR , paul lahote.

036. the night before the end

LENA WAS WELL AWARE OF BELLA'S PLAN. To send Jacob and Rey off into the sunset with fake passports and a shit-ton of money if anything went wrong. Lena thought it was insane - but understood the stakes. So far, her attempts at denial were weak, but still, when the snow stuck to the ground outside the Cullen house, she simply went outside to build tiny snowmen with her god-daughter.

When night fell, and the group gathered outside around a fire, she wasn't thinking about their impending doom. She was thinking about the s'mores she was about to have, and her plans for after this whole thing was over.

If she lives that long.

Shut the fuck up, Lena.

"Nice. Little, pre-battle bonfire. Telling war stories." Jacob mused as he took his place beside Benjamin, across from Lena, who sent him a strange look. "Or standing around like friggin' statues."

The silence was uncomfortable, but then Garret zoomed in with a story of his own, and soon enough, stories were being passed around the fire like it was just another Saturday. Lena watched with a smile, listening to the real-life experiences of things she'd only read about in her history books.

When the night grew darker, everyone dispersed around the fire, chatting with one another. Bella was having a difficult heart to heart with Rey, and Edward was talking to Carlisle. She was staring into the flames, hands smoothing over both her tribal tattoos, when Jacob sat beside her.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey." She replied, not hiding the confusion in her tone.

"Listen," He let out a deep sigh, turning to face her, "I know that you hate me..."

She chuckled.

"...but we don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow. And I just want to tell you...thanks. For being there for Bella, and for knocking some sense into me when I needed it."

She looked at him, the sincerity in his eyes, and huffed, "Guess i've gotta say something nice now?"

Jake shrugged, but his smirk was evident. Lena rolled her head back, "Jake, you're a dick. But you're fiercely loyal, and determined. Even if you use those traits in the wrong way, at the end of the day, you're only seventeen. So, I guess, what I'm saying is...you're good. Despite it all. And you can get so much better, I know you can. And I hope you will."

The two wolves nodded at one another, the silence truce between settling into their minds. It was peaceful, for once, and Lena smiled at Jacob genuinely for the first time probably ever.

"It feels like the finale, doesn't it?"

Lena rested her phone on the kitchen counter in the Cullen house - which was entirely empty for the first time in months. On face-time, Rebecca was in her bed, biting her nails.

"What do you mean?" The brunette asked.

"Like, when a show finishes for good, and all the characters wrap up their conflicts and whatever." Rebecca responded, "And there's this compilation of them moving on, and then the credits roll and we know there's never gonna be another episode?"

"Yeah." Lena swallowed, "It kinda does, doesn't it?"

They were choking up. Bex sniffed, "Hey, don't cry. It's not over yet."

Lena let a tear drop, "We don't know that."

"Well I do. Okay?" The blonde was determined, wiping her eyes, "You guys are gonna win. And everything is gonna be okay."

"Right. Yeah, you're right." There was a beat of silence, and then Lena brought the phone close up to her face, "But I can still say I love you forever, right?"

"Of course." Bex's voice cracked, "I love you too. So much."

They stayed there for another hour, distracting themselves with gossip they didn't care about and jokes that weren't as funny as they would've been. When Rebecca finally let her go, telling her to get some much-needed beauty rest, Lena broke down in tears on the kitchen floor.

"Feeling it now, huh?"

She looked up at the voice, and Emmett stood there with his arms crossed and his face sad. He nodded in understanding, "Me too. It always hits 'ya right before. That's what happens when you hold stuff in, but," He shrugged, "Can't help it."

"Emmett, I wanna ask you if we're gonna die but...I don't wanna hear the answer."

"No you don't." He took a seat on the ground next to her, "Because no matter what I say, it's not gonna make you feel better. Even if you think it will."

"Is this the end? Is this the last episode?" She asked, "That's super corny."

He smirked, "Very corny."

"I regretted it as soon as I said it."

"I could tell."

They chuckled, and then it fell silent once more. They could see the blaze of the fire from ahead, and the shadows bouncing off the trees. Lena stood, and Emmett followed. She turned to him, "Good luck out there."

"You too." He nodded at her, before leaving her to her own devices once more.

She sighed, closing her eyes and letting herself go numb. Feeling her whole body but none of her boys all at the same time - hyper aware of her surroundings whilst basking in the silence of nothing. Possibly for the last time, she appreciated the rainy town of Forks and The Rez and all that it had done for her.

A year ago, Lena would've laughed in your face if you'd tried to tell her what her life would be like in a year. If you'd stuck it hard enough, however, she would've cried and begged for it to come as quickly as possible. Because before Forks, before the Rez, before Bella, before Paul - she was nothing but a sad girl. And she didn't want to be that.

And yet, as she stands in the empty kitchen of the Cullen house, she feels like nothing more than a sad girl. And despite everything, she wanted nothing more than for it to remain that way - so she didn't have to wake up tomorrow and walk into what could possibly be the last fight she'd never have.

-mills speaks!

very short chapter bc the next one is the battle. gasp.

just watched the season finale of ted lasso and am in my feels hence the very sad chapter.

n e wayz we're almost at the end ... :((((( crying i'm gonna miss my babies