Red Line

Part 12- Emotions

The file was like my version of Pandora's box. Once I opened it, I couldn't put the information back inside.
They told me she didn't want me. They told me she gave me to them, me and my brother, but they lied. She didn't want to give us up, not after she saw us at least. She had bargained to sell us before we were born, but once she had us in her arms she couldn't let us go.
So they killed her. They killed her because she loved us, because she wanted us. Then they took us like pigs being led to the slaughter, and only one of us escaped.
Before they numbered us like cattle, we had names. I was Yeva and he was Nikodim. My mother's name was Serafima.
We almost had a normal life with a loving mother. We would've never known the torment that haunts me to this day.
We were children to her. She wanted to love and protect us from the cruel world, but to them we were just assets. They trained us to become what made the world seem so cruel.

When I killed my brother they punished me as if I was a thief who had destroyed their property rather than a monster that had just killed someone, even if it was and accident.
The harshest reality of this tale is that nobody would ever care. Even if they knew, my mother and brother would be just another casualty of the Nazi regime. I wouldn't be the victim, I would be the villain. Society needs someone to blame. Maybe that's what I deserve anyhow. I'm what little kids fear is coming for them.
But the part that hurts the most is that not even Hydra recorded who my father is. Did he escape the tragedy that befell the rest of the family? Did he run? Did they kill him too? I'd never know. His story was lost with my mother.

Lila peeks her head through my door, "I took your phone to play games."
I crane my neck to see her across the dark room, "that's fine."
"Your friend from work is texting you, and a boy."
MJ and Peter. Gosh I have to tell them.
"Ignore it."
"Do you have a boyfriend?" Lila coos.
My cheeks heat up, "No."
"Are you still busy? I'm bored and Cooper went to his friends house"
"Yeah kiddo, I'm sorry."
"Daddy wants to check on you."
"Tell him I'm fine."
Lila slinks back out of the room looking somewhat annoyed.

A moment later a knock sounds on the door.
I sigh, "come in!"
Clint swings the door open, "You and I both know you aren't 'busy'."
"Maybe not."
"Why would you even be busy?" He asks.
I shrug.
"Something is bothering you, you need to talk to someone."
"It's not exactly easy to find someone."
"I know someone."
"That person being?"

He smiles, "Go get a shower."
"I showered this morning."
"For once please just go do what I ask you? I need a minute."
I peel myself out of bed, "Fine."

~~~

"Come on, it's outside." Clint urges.
"If this is some kind of ruse to get me outside-"
"If it was a ruse you'd never know." Clint cuts me off.
"Are you saying you're tactically superior to me?"
Clint smiles, "You and I both know I am."
"At least I can hear." I retort.
"That was a cheap shot."
"You're right, I could've done better."

Clint opens the front door revealing Steve sitting on our front step.
"What are you doing here?" I ask.
Steve raises an eyebrow and smiles, "Your people skills still need work. Usually you would say: 'it's so good to see you' or 'I missed you' or 'how's it been going hiding from the United States government?'."
I pull him into a hug, "you know I'm excited to see you, it's just dangerous for you to be here."
"I was told you needed me, so here I am." Steve says nonchalantly, "They aren't going to catch us anyway. The government can kiss my-"
"Language!" Clint calls over Steve.

Steve rolls his eyes, "Anyway, do you need talk?"
I shake my head, "I'm good."
"I'm sorry, you must've mistaken that as a question." Steve says cooly.
"Bitter in your old age, aren't you?" I glance at Clint over my shoulder, "How do you feel about taking a run around the farm?"
Steve smiles challengingly, "As long as you don't mind eating my dust."
"Oh please."
I smirks and take off running ahead of him.
"Stop cheating punk!" Steve yells after me.
I'll explain everything as we run.

~~~

"I'm gonna kill him!" Steve yells slowing to a stop, "He preyed on the nature that they instilled in you."
I shake my head, "I agreed out of my own volition. I wanted the favor."
"What favor could have possibly been worth all the trouble you went through?" Steve pries.
"You and Bucky coming home. Money fixes everything here, makes it go away. Tony promised anything and I know he wouldn't lie to me."

Steve's face softens, "We're ok kiddo. We wanted you to be alright, be normal, be happy."
"You guys saved me. You deserve it just as much as me."
"We will someday." Steve says gently.
"I messed it up when I got my emotions involved. I fell in love with him. "
"So you were being a normal kid. You were letting people care about you." Steve disputes, "You can't beat yourself up."
I give him a hug. I needed this.
"You're getting really comfortable with that." Steve observes.
I smile, "Lila loves hugs."

A let out a long sigh, "on another note: where's Bucky?"
"Wakanda." Steve answers plainly.
"In Africa?"
Steve nods, "He's in a sort of recovery process."
"I'm glad, he deserves it."

Steve looks up at the setting sun, "I should probably get going."
"Already?"
"Hey, it's alright." He places a small phone in my palm, "If you need me I'm only one call away."