𝗛𝗘𝗥 » 𝗕𝗧𝗦 𝗙𝗙 (𝗢𝗧𝟳)

CHAPTER 23 » BAD MAN

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The truth is only bitter when you don't want to hear it. And perhaps, that is how the truth of this situation tastes to them. Perhaps, it's a truth they knew deep down within themselves but was never ready to admit it out loud but hearing her say it loud and clear, made it not only taste bitter but also clawed harshly at their beating hearts.

And silence once again took over the room.

But instead of being torturing to them like earlier, it was calming so they openly welcomed it especially as it was the only stable thing for them right in this moment, nothing else was stable neither was anything trustworthy. Not the sentences gradually forming in their vocal boxes, not the erratic continuous thud of their hearts, not the swirling unstable thoughts on their mind, not the sweats trickling down their necks and backs in irregular patterns while soaking up their clothes second by second. Not any other thing was stable except the quietness.

So they embraced, reeled in it, breathed in it, thought in it and came to a decision in it - an alone time.

An alone time to think, to reflect, to wallow, to blame.

They couldn't even look at each other in the eyes, different thoughts going in different directions on their minds, each to his own guilt, each to his own remorse and to his own loss.

So while maintaining that eery quietness, Namjoon was the first to get up, letting the remote on his thigh slide and drop to the floor. His head was full and if he didn't retreat to his room and start sorting them out as soon as possible, it will definitely explode. He was feeling every emotions in full force, it was stinging and biting, it was itchy, it created discomfort all around his body, he just needed his room and he knew once he was behind close doors, he can let go of all that has resided and overfill his chest.

It was too painful to not be able to express his emotions right away so in fast strides, he found his way to his room.

After Namjoon left, Yoongi got up, his cheeks were tears-stained, his heart was heavy, each inhale and exhale of air was painful, his head was throbbing with attacking words to himself, so to subdue that pain, he made a beeline to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of cognac and made his way to his room.

Alcohol could help him right now. It was the only non-living thing that usually comfort people. Not like he wanted comfort but the pain of loss and guilt was too overbearing, he needed to let it all out but with the help of alcohol, he knew it would be easier.

It would be easier to think straight.

It would be easier to blame himself.

It would be easier to locate his problems.

It would be easier to know what to do next.

Because it was all truly yet to sink in. He had a long night ahead. A long night to lay out all the reasons why he is this kind of man. So in a staggering manner, he climbed the stairs, heading for his room.

Jungkook who watched both Namjoon and Yoongi leave in his periphery, he could see the guilt written all over their body, he didn't need to see their faces to catch that. But what about himself? He was still astonished and frozen to his seat beside Jin, he couldn't believe how bad of a man he is.

That excuse of his is just a very stupid one. And how could he believe that doing what he did was going to help her? How did he make himself believe what is false because looking at it, she was someone he felt free to tell everything so why did he suddenly become a coward and jackass at the thought of interacting with her?