𝗛𝗘𝗥 » 𝗕𝗧𝗦 𝗙𝗙 (𝗢𝗧𝟳)

CHAPTER 25 » SUCH A MESS

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3RD PERSON POV:

Grey skies are considered sad because of their dull look. Rainy days are considered troubles because of the rumbles and whirring noise. And when that same grey sky begin to pour down a heavy rainfall, it makes the sad heart even more depressed as it somehow represents a sad sky crying and pouring out its pain or like the universe understanding one's pain.

Just like now.

As Taehyung sat by the window in the company's cafeteria, looking out through the tiny open space, seeing so clearly just how much of a gloomy day today happens to be. How much today made his depressing thoughts overwhelm him, making him unable to taste the sweetness and spiciness of the food sitting on the table before him.

Although, he couldn't fully blame today's weather on his inability to eat when that's how it has been since that evening when he watched that video. It was obvious from the way his neck has gotten leaner but whenever he's on camera, he endeavours to wear something that covers his weight loss, not wanting to erupt worry amongst their fans. He believes he didn't deserve it. And this action wasn't intentional but his taste bud has been inactive making delicious food tasteless in his mouth, the times when he ate, it was more of forcing himself to eat.

His appetite currently has no love for him.

But he couldn't blame it, he deserved being unloved for his action, and maybe this was his way of getting punished by the universe. Or maybe it's just the fact that he's been too depressed to enjoy the sight, aroma nor taste of food. He's been thinking so much that those thoughts keeps him up at night, they make him hate himself, they make him feel so apologetic but the person he wants to beg for forgiveness and apologize for his error ways is nowhere in sight.

His everyday life was now dry and empty like a shadow of the happy past. There was nothing really exciting about this present. Especially now that everyone is distancing themselves, there's no one to talk to if he had wanted to pour out his heavy thoughts.

Hobi has moved out the following week after that night when they watched the video. Yoongi and Jimin also moved out, and the rest of them still living in the dorm barely talks to each other. The ones who were trying mostly out of all of them was Jin and Jungkook but it was still so obvious that things have changed.

He could very much guess why that change is happening, why their bond is breaking apart - they blame each other as much as they blame themselves. The idea that even if they were messing up, why didn't any of them remain by her side, to keep her here.

Her memories are plastered all over the house, the sofas, the kitchen, the hallways, the stairway, the rooms, the gym room, every fucking room and passage in the house is tinged with her feel, her presence, her smile, her touch, her warmth. Everything about her was still very much alive in their memories so wherever they turned, they were met with one memory or the other.

The only thing that reminds them that she was no longer with them is the coldness that stings the air, that envelopes them at night, that makes the air in the house eery, so much it became painful.

It became painful knowing and realising that they've lost their everything. That precious person in their lives. They lost her because of their own deeds which happens to be irreversible.

Brrr. Brrr.

His eyes snapped away from the rain falling heavily and loudly outside the building back to the the table before him, seeing a message notification being displayed on the screen of his phone. His eyes dart to his food and he could see that he has been subconsciously poking at it.