Everything's Gonna Be Perfect - Nick & Charlie || Heartstopper 🌈❤️🍂

Chapter 2: Nick's journey

Nick's diary

Wow, I haven't written in here in like ages. But I thought... maybe it's time to do so. Cause I need to try to explain how happy I am.

Char told me some kind of quote from his therapist about how good it can be to express yourself by writing. Don't remember it exactly. But it was really nerdy. And we all know who the proper little nerd in this relationship is. 

Wow... relationship. It feels like really formal. I mean, we're obsessed with each other it's almost embarrasing for other people. Not that I care, to be honest. But I feel like I've never felt like this before. Cause seeing Char happy makes me feel like that. And being part of that is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Fuck, here comes the cheesy Nelson inside of me. But fuck you if you complain, this is MY DIARY and I write whatever the fuck I want. Fuck, I should stop that word. Oops, I did it again. I played with your heaaaaart... (Britney Spears get off my head). OKAY, I'MMA STOP NOW.

Not that I'll ever play with Char's heart. I'd prefer to die rather than hurting him. I'm fucking dramatic at this point, but it's HIS FAULT. He is just EVERYTHING. Can't blame myself. I just cannot understand who the hell wouldn't be honoured to be his boyfriend. Guess I'm not objective about this topic. Or guess a lot of people out there have zero taste.

I'm navigating through my bisexuality in a more confident way now I guess. And that's because of him. Maybe he'll never agree, but I'll keep on saying until he believes me. He's the strongest person I've ever met. He got closer to me probably thinking I was a fucking asshole just like almost all the boys around me, he confessed his feelings to me and was brave enough to kiss me (a kiss I'll never forget, cause look where we are now), he never pressured me about anything and he was even determined to not label our relationship cause he thought I might not want that.

God, I want EVERYTHING with him. EVERYTHING.

We're taking it one step at a time, and it's not always easy to talk about certain personal and intimate things, but we're trying our best. I know we are, and I know we can do it. If we can't do it alone, then let's do it together. There's no other person I'd rather do this with.

And I know we'll get there eventually, and I want everything to be perfect, cause he deserves the best. Fuck, is that too much pressure on myself? I think he kind of feels the same about it.

This is gonna be my last year at Truham, and we both know we got a challenging future ahead with that. But he's always thinking about me, reassuring me when a stone gets in the path. Always there for me.

And he is always right. We've got this. If we can't do it, then who will?

"Nicky, d'you wanna come for a walk with Nellie and Henry?"

"Yes, mom, let me get changed and I'm ready"

While I take my clothes off, I look at myself in the mirror and I start laughing. Cause if Char saw me right now... he'd probably be all flustered and blushing. We've seen each other shirtless while making out sometimes... and things got a bit heated. 

I feel like we've already established a dynamic of praising each other while we get kind of intimate. And we kind of refuse to accept the compliments we get. But I wish Char believed them, cause every single thing I say is true. 

And I know it's easier for me. I haven't been through his journey. I've always been kind of the stereotypical fit rugby boy. And yes, I know I'm muscly and pretty boyish and straight-looking for many people. BUT I AM BISEXUAL, DAMMIT. And that's one of the things I love about me.

Obviously Char was always fine with that, he's an angel, he's the best and he's always made it clear that my journey might be different, but it matters as much as his. I know there's still a lot about myself I need to work on, "but remember there's no deadline for that", as he'd say.

"Honey, we could walk a tight rope

Fall and we'd still have hope

And make it till the end

Baby, we could live like crazy

Lovers who just maybe

Make it till the end"

I get dressed up and find myself humming and singing along to this song I've listened for a fews days now. I gotta send this one to Char, he'd agree it fits us quite a bit.

Mum and I finally leave the house for a walk, and while getting to the park, she asks.

"Everything alright with Charlie, Nicky?"

"Y-Yeah, I was just writing my diary before and... clarifying my... thoughts, but y-yeah, we're all g-good... yeah"

"You just get all flustered every single time we mention him, dear"

"Oi! What can I do? He's just... perfect, mum, like I can't help it"

And we end up laughing while she keeps teasing me for a bit.

But yeah, he's just perfect to me.

And I know.

Deep inside I know.

Everything's gonna be perfect.