The Music in My Heart 2

Chapter 31

Eleanora's pov

I woke up to myself in an empty bed with the sun shining through my curtains.

I know it's empty but I still slid my arm around feeling for Carter... I opened my eyes in defeat accepting the fact that she's not-

"Morning," she came in with a tray of breakfast in her ripped jeans and grey bra..

"G-goodmorning," I sat up eagerly pushing my blanket to the side.

"Ahem," she hid behind her curls looking away as she stood over me with the tray.

I'm only wearing my lingerie.

"S-sorry," I reached over to grab my silk robe and a hair clamp.

She still won't budge a glimpse in my direction, must she always be so respectful and resisting?

"I'm covered up," I sighed and she turned towards me with a small smile and sets the tray down on the bed.

"Why so distant?" I put a few sugar cubes in my tea and stirred it.

"It's Saturday," she softly spoke as she sat on the edge of the bed looking at the ground.

"You can't have breakfast with me?" I teased.

"Not like this," she almost winced.

...it's today...

"Carter, you have to stop denying yourself happiness and comfort," I sat my cup down.

"I'll be happy when I win," she tried to reason.

"You can be happy with me now. I don't care about my car-

"Well, I do. If it wasn't for me and my curiosity of auditioning- hell, if I didn't take musical path in general in this life, I would've never had you as a conductor. If it wasn't for your career choice, we would've never met. It's more than just a lifestyle change at play here, it's my life with you. I love you and everything about you- this job included. You're passionate about what you do and I want to preserve that passion. Who am I to rewrite your passion by taking its place? That doesn't sit right with me, to hold you back when you say something like that because you love me more? Would you feel content if I said I love you more than music itself?" She made me hitch a breath.

How can I even argue at something like that?

I don't have the words to even counter something like that..

"Carter, I'd do anything for your well being," I softly spoke..

The more we talk about this, the more I'm left speechless.

She's trying to love me, I'm trying to love her but for fuck sake it's a war zone with these circumstances.

"As would I. Now's not the time to be throwing away history of hard work and dedication- especially for the likes of me who doesn't even have a career..." I could feel my skin warm up but not out of anger or frustration...

I'm practically blushing and can't comprehend why.

"Y-you really think that highly of me?" I was star struck.

"I always have. I'm going to honor it by getting through today," She looked at me with a pained look.

I immediately knew what she was referring to.

The answer's no.

"Do it without the pills. You can't do this to yourself," I warned.

"I'm doing whatever means necessary-

"Carter, do it without the goddamn pills and trust yourself. I'm not attending if-

"I'm not asking for your support nor your permission. I'm doing what needs to be done because if I blip and the program closes, I can't look at you the same," she made me gasp.

Carter got up to get her hoodie and keys.

"don't you dare walk out on me," I glared at her.

"I always pray that you see that I've always been trying to walk alongside you," she ruffled her curls to put in a bun.

"Don't give me nonsense," I nearly spat.

"Watch me perform and I'll give you some sense," she had the same tone.

Carter Cammery...

I could feel my brow twitch when she talked back but I couldn't bring myself to be angry when deep down I just want to be with her in ways that shouldn't even be up for discussion.

"You are being so difficult," i grumbled as i picked up my fork to eat this-

Deliciously cooked egg white omelette she made- damn you...

"So are you. I came here to give you breakfast, not argue about my decisions," she quickly calmed down at the sight of me eating what she cooked.

If it wasn't so damn good I'd be putting up a fight but fucking hell she can cook.

"A lot of other sponsors are gossiping. Turns out Raheem will be playing a bach solo. What will you be playing?" I took a different approach.

"A remix, why the sudden interest in my choices?" She plainly said and I choked on my food.

"How can you possibly make jokes about this? Raheem is playing-

"What he thinks is his best accomplishment. I'll be playing my best accomplishment," she looked serious.

We're holding an intense gaze and this woman is actually being serious right now because she's not back down or breaking eye contact.

"I've been working really hard to learn the original... I spent the last two days of practice rearranging it. For once I actually made Johannes tear up with it. For her to even like something so much, it brought her to tears- a music master in classical piano for more than two generations with a respectable reputation, I have to play it... I can't play it without the pills because of the strain," Carter reasoned.

Johannes cried listening to Carter's work?

"Can you play it- warm up purposes of course," I wanted to listen for myself.

"Come to the concert hall and watch the expedition," she got up to kiss my head and started leaving the bedroom.

"You're leaving?" I was almost hurt.

"Any minute longer, we'll be running late," she waved.

"We?!" I yelled across the room.

"You're coming, I trust the feeling I have. You need to trust that I'll win- my way," I could hear her footsteps echo down the stairs as I stared off into space with my recent revelations.

How could I be this blind and yet still disagree all the more?

AN: short update Ik but the next one will make up for it.