The Flap of a Butterfly's Wings

Phases of the Moon

Izuku abruptly stands up from the bench he was sitting on and hugs Katsuki; he hugs him so tight. Katsuki has grown, obviously. He's taller- taller than Izuku just like he's always been, and he's built more muscle. Not only that, but there's a sense of maturity that the other Kacchan didn't have at this age. It's somber, but red-hot as well. Frayed around the edges as if it was still being stitched up.

Katsuki still smells like campfire and eucalyptus, something that is strangely comforting to Izuku.

Izuku lets go begrudgingly before Katsuki even has time to hug back, not that Izuku thinks he would want to, anyway. He grabs his best friend's wrist and starts walking. This area is too public for Izuku, and it doesn't feel safe. It's his paranoia, he knows, from years of being a vigilante and everything before that, but he won't be able to fully be in the moment if he's constantly hyper aware of every little thing.

"The fuck- where are we going?" Katsuki tries to stop, but Izuku doesn't let him. Katsuki isn't the only one who's gotten stronger over the years. He makes sure his grip is present, but not too strong to hurt. He'd never do anything to hurt him.

Blood was everywhere. On his hands, in his hair, he could even taste it.

Kacchan smiled, saying it wasn't his fault.

It was. It was it was it was! Katsuki was being delusional, he should have cursed him, yelled at him, tried to kill him.

God, how Izuku wished he was killed when he got kidnapped by the LOV. Death would have been a blessing compared to this.

Blood was dripping from Kacchan's mouth. Izuku was crying harder than he's ever cried before, his throat was in agony from sobbing and screaming, but the tears kept coming.

"Please, Kacchan! I'm so sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I didn't want this! Don't..." Izuku sobbed. Blood and tears and snot and sweat everywhere, "Don't die. I can't live without you."

Katsuki smiled. He was still beautiful. His hand held Izuku's cheek, and Izuku grabbed onto his hand with both of his. As if that would do anything.

"You'll find a way, Nerd," Katsuki coughed, "Kiss me. One last time."

Izuku screamed, "It won't be the last time! After this, I'll kiss you so much that you'll get sick of me."

But he was already gone.

Izuku spaced back in to find that he was still walking with Kacchan's hand still in his. A tear had run down his cheek, and he hastily wiped it away with his free arm. Kacchan was still yelling at him, completely missing the fact that Izuku had completely dissociated, or just not caring.

Izuku came to a stop and looked straight ahead at the park. He knew that if he looked at Katsuki right now, he would just burst into tears.

He's imagined this reunion hundreds, possibly thousands of times. All of the things he would say to him, all of the sorrys he would whisper, shout, and convey to Katsuki. Maybe he would even tell him the whole truth. Unlock the past, present, and future and finally tell someone.

None of that happened. Instead, he stood there, staring at the old playground that was starting to show its age through marks and rust.

How was he supposed to express years of yearning, sorrow, and regret?

He couldn't.

________

Katsuki wouldn't have let this idiot drag him here if he wasn't so paralyzingly numb. All he could do was stare at the back of Deku's head and yell stupid curses that Izuku didn't even seem to hear. His green, fluffy hair was the exact same from when he saw it all those years ago at the mall. How could that stay the same when so many other things have changed? Katsuki stares at Deku, and notices. He notices Izuku's navy sweatshirt that seems to swallow him all (he always seemed so small, like a breeze could take him away), the strength of his hand holding his, the way Izuku hastily wipes his face.