Hi ho, Kermit the frog here. And today, I'm giving you step by step directions on how to pull yourself some girlfriends.
First step, go out into the wild to find the local ladies. Pro tip: if you actually want to do this step, don't actually steal the ladies. Seriously, i did that the first time i tried to get myself a babe and i ended up getting arrested for attempted kidnapping. (Break, Kermit stares in an uncomfortable silence.)
Second step if you chose not to attempt the first one, go onto a dating app! You need to set up a really good profile. Here's mine if you want the inspiration. I know, so wonderful. (there was a slideshow that went with it lol)
Third step, once that beautiful woman slides into your dms and asks you on a date, you're gonna wanna panic. Scream at the top of your lungs. You don't know how to set up a date! The last time you went on a date was four years ago, and that ended with your wife divorcing you and taking the kids! Im looking at you Mrs. Piggy!!! I know about your affair with Animal! You can't hide from the truth of your sins! What's next, your gonna go for the opposite team and hit up Janice?!?! You know I don't like Janice, Piggy!!! (Break, to mourn the loss of his love.)
The fourth and final step is to delete your dating app and go into a spiraling depression! That step is my favorite! Thank you so much for listening to my tutorial, I'm sure you will get so many ladies!
