Why do you make it hard for me to hate you? (Addendum)

The Aftermath

Summary: The aftermath of Draco finding out about you and Narcissa had been rough. The holiday spirit did not help. But, as Hermione said: "One day at a time"

A/N: I'm so sorry it took this long to pump out another chapter! A lot has happened. Anyways happy reading!!!

MC's POV

The days seemed to have blended into one big blur after Christmas. I haven't even touched any of the gifts that have my name on them, If my father and/or my mother had noticed how much more time I've been sleeping they didn't say anything.

I'm almost glad to be going back to Hogwarts tomorrow, it's a welcome distraction from the heartache that I've been feeling for the past week.

Packing and organizing was never my strong side, it was always Hermione's forte. So shoving everything I have is the method to my madness, I scanned my things trying to look for my sketchbook; excited to draw something with the brand new charcoals and watercolour that Hermione had given me during Christmas. I was too sad to look for it last week since I really didn't have any inspiration or energy to draw or paint.

I rummaged through the bag with the extension charm, even using the accio charm for faster acquisition but nothing popped up in my hand, I repeated the charm again hoping that it was just in the abyss of the bag and was taking some time to come up, still nothing. I rummage through the haphazardly thrown clothes in my luggage, still not there. I thought about where the last place I might have placed it.

I kept on wracking my brain, my clothes are now on the floor and my mind was frantic. Some of my best works were drawn there. Well, mainly the portrait of Narcissa which I haven't even coloured in. Then it suddenly hit me, I placed it above the fireplace mantle in Malfoy Manor.

I curse myself. Not even bothering to check my belongings while I attempt to escape Narcissa and Draco after what had happened. I sigh, so much for getting it back I guessed. Because there was no way I would be able to talk to Draco or Narcissa after all this. It's also not like I could march into Malfoy Manor and not see both of them.

I ran my fingers through my hair tussling it in the process. I wanted to berate myself but, what good will that do?

I picked up the clothes on my floor, frustratedly stuffing everything but taking everything into account so I don't miss bringing anything back to Hogwarts.

After I finished packing I dialled Hermione, eventually telling her that I left my prized sketchbook at Narcissa's place.

"Well if there's any consolation, I don't think she would look through your stuff. I mean, I don't know her that well but from what you told me, she wanted you to be the one to show your work. So, you know?" Hermione said on the other end of the line.

She was right, if I hadn't shown Narcissa my art she wouldn't have pushed me to see it.

Flashes of her smile that night crossed my mind and the tightening feeling in my chest was back.

"Are you still there?" Hermione inquired due to my sudden silence.

I sigh, "Yeah, yeah. I'm still here. Well, I doubt that I could ever get that sketchbook back. So, I guess I need to move on to a new sketchbook." I reply, pinching my phone between my shoulder and my cheek.

Hermione hums, "Somehow I don't think that it's the sketchbook you have to move on from. But, I know you'll get there." She half-heartedly tells me.

"Some days are easy, Mione. Days when I don't drown in her memories? I'm good and can function normally. But the nights are different. When I remember how she was with me. When I remember how she looked at me before I stormed out of the room?"