Cursed Hearts

The Bad Mother

Trigger warning: mentions and depictions of an eating disorder.

The house was quiet when he walked in- it was early in the evening, and the sun was still sinking in the sky. Robin had gotten a text from Roland about going to visit David and Snow for a bit, so he knew the quietness would continue for at least an hour or two. Assuming Regina was upstairs, he debated whether or not to start the conversation that would inevitably turn into a fight. The light that his brother had shined on their situation left him shaken inside, a feeling that couldn't be buried back into submission. It had to happen.

Walking up the staircase, he rounded the corner towards their bedroom, knowing his wife would be in bed reading a book to pass the time. In the decade they had been together, he had learned her routine in its entirety.

"Quiet evening?" He asked, causing her to look up from her book.

"I've been enjoying it- it's nice knowing where everyone is for a change."

Robin could already feel the awkwardness settle in between them, sending him into a slight panic as he searched for what to say next. Approaching things delicately had never been his strong suit; as he grew older, his patience wore thin.

"I thought we could continue our conversation from earlier," he began, before he lost her gaze. He could obviously sense that she didn't want to talk, but they both knew it was something that couldn't be avoided any longer. They were exhausted trying to survive in their own little worlds.

Setting her book down, Regina straightened her back against the bed frame and braced herself. "Sounds like you have something to say."

He felt odd sitting down next to her, so he paced from wall to wall instead, trying to sort his frantic thoughts into words. When the pressure became too much, he came to an abrupt stop, the words bursting out.

"I talked to Will earlier- he told me about what happened while I was gone ten years ago. I know, Regina."

Her expression was hard to figure out, her eyes lost in a multitude of different feelings. He waited for her to say something, but no words came.

"Why didn't you tell me? I- I could've helped you, we would've gotten through it."

Clenching her jaw, she fought the tears that were already beginning to form. "I didn't tell you because I knew you would look at me exactly how you are now." She told him, her voice faltering. "And now you probably hate me- I don't blame you, I'd hate me too."

"No, you don't get to do that. You're not the victim here. What if I never came back?"

"I don't know!" She shot towards him, "every single day you were gone I asked myself that question. I couldn't bear the thought of going on without you."

"So you put our daughter's life at risk instead? That is so unbelievably selfish."

"...I know that was wrong- I wish I could take it back but I can't. You know how much I love her."

She could feel her body trembling with an uncovered rage, the devastation tearing through her like an earthquake. "There's something wrong with me, I'm a sick person and I don't know why."

Robin was conflicted- he wanted to comfort her and tell her everything was going to be okay, but he was still processing all the new and terrible information for himself. He was shocked that she was able to keep such big secrets from him for so long. All this time, he believed that they were an unstoppable force, a family with an unbreakable bond. Maybe being on auto pilot made them happy enough, but they were simply sailing through.