"Can we repeat it all again?" Blanca asked
"You won't be serious"
"Please..."
"Blanca, we are ready, we have repeated thesis and antithesis all week.. the debate is next Tuesday..." Nate looked better at Blanca and let himself be convinced by those eyes, took the notes in his hand and began to browse while a new smile was born on Blanca's face "agree, but only once, I have to go home and change for tonight's barbeque"
"Will you come too?"
"Samuel found weird to have the coach at his house, you know how he 's done... he prefers me to come too"
"I don't find anything strange about it, from how Uncle Brandon and Aunt Kelly told they are friends from college"
"Yes," Nate sighed, "but for us he's the coach and in college we didn't go with them... it's weird."
Blanca smiled at him. She loved having Nate at home on those afternoons, despite her father Dylan walking down the aisle and imposing the open door on them.
"Your father is so possessive," Nate noted.
"Since what happened with Samuel it's like he doesn't trust me."
"Well, it was a nice shock to him," Nate pointed out.
"It was a little bit for everyone," Blanca sighed.
"Is that why you stopped everything with Samuel? Not to displease your family?" Nate's expression was pretty serious as he asked Blanca what exactly had happened and why she decided to break everything with Samuel.
"At first... Yeah " confessed Blanca "when I went to France with my parents I was desperate, I missed Samuel, I thought I had messed everything up, but the truth is that I felt it was wrong from the beginning, I felt it, I knew it, it's just that ..."
"Couldn't you get back on him?" Nate raised his eyebrow.
"That's right" Blanca took a short break "believe me, I didn't want to hurt Samuel, I didn't want to break his heart and I know that I broke his heart into a thousand pieces, I know he suffered, I know well that the fault is only mine, but it wasn't an exchange between me and Samuel"
'What do you mean?'
"Samuel is a wonderful guy, he is a lot of thing, he's funny, he's really handsome, but inside him he has a void, a huge void, and I felt compelled to fill this void, to please him, to make him laugh, to help him, he was taking everything away from me. Shouldn't love be an exchange? Don't you and Janet exchange a piece of you every day?"
'Janet?'
Blanca laughed "Janet .. remember? Your girlfriend..."
Nate didn't answer right away, did he and Janet exchange something? Was it a give and get theirs?
"To tell you the truth," said Nate, "I only take from her, I don't give her anything, but it seems that Janet doesn't care, she wouldn't stand me leaving her, she wouldn't endure humiliation, I'm waiting for her to leave me."
"Why do you want her to leave you?"
"Because I feel like a monster with her, and if Janet left me I would feel better"
"A monster.. " repeated Blanca "Nate... she's beautiful, she's rich, she's popular"
Nate shook his head and smiled "she's not the girl I love"
At the news that Nate was in love Blanca had a pinch in her heart, like an unknown and painful jolt that came from who knows where.
"Are you in love with a girl?" Blanca asked
Nate didn't look at her, he kept his eyes down on the notebook he was flipping through.
"For several years," he sighed.
Blanca got up and went to sit right next to him " and how come I didn't know anything about her? Wait.. Samuel knows, right? But of course he always knows everything about you."
Nate shook his head "Samuel is the last person I can tell"
'Why?' Blanca asked
Nate turned slowly and looked Blanca in the eye, there was a moment when everything stopped as if it was not possible even in the light to enter that room.
"Because it's you, Blanca, you're the girl I've been in love with for years."
Blanca opened her mouth but didn't take her eyes off Nate's.
"I... " Nate didn't come back to complete the sentence, he cup her cheek with one hand and then slowly brought his lips closer to Blanca's.
She kept looking at him but didn't stop him, she only closed her eyes when her lips touched Nate's. She opened her mouth and let his tongue make its way. Blanca surprised herself as she put her hands around his neck. Without realising it they were kissing, it was like something new that was dragging them, something that came from a distant and quiet place.
They heard Dylan's footsteps approaching and broke the kiss while continuing to look at each other in the few moments between Dylan's arrival and what had just happened.
Nate got up abruptly and picked up his things inside the backpack "I have to go" he said without looking her in the eye.
"Are you done?" Asked Dylan who had looked out.
"Yes Mr. Mckay we're done" Nate quickly looked at Blanca then looked back at Dylan.
"Are you coming to the barbeque later?" Asked Dylan who didn't seem to have noticed anything while his daughter was still watching Nate savouring his taste on her lips.
"Yes" Nate gave a half-smile, moved the dark tuft by passing a hand through his hair.
Dylan nodded and left the two alone.
"I'm sorry," Nate said, stopping his frantic rush to escape from that room, "I shouldn't have, maybe that seemed wrong to you too.."
Blanca didn't answer, the words didn't come out of her, they had become entangled. She let Nate out without that answer. Her heart was pounding.
XX
Dylan went down to the kitchen where the twins were finishing their homework and Brenda was making lasagna to take to her brother's house.
'Are they done?' She asked her husband.
Dylan grabbed a piece of carrot from the cut vegetable tray "I would not put my finger on it but something was going on in that room."
Brenda took on an amused expression "between Nate and Blanca?"
Dylan nodded.
"You see ghosts everywhere, what do you want it to be going on, they kept the door open all the time and you were a soldier all afternoon and then Nate and Blanca... Dylan... they never even looked each other in the face."
"Hey, I used to be Young too, I don't know if you remember..." Dylan said as he approached his wife.
"I remember it very well," Brenda replied, kissing him on the lips.
"...I tell you I know Nate's expression...that expression" Dylan didn't have time to finish the sentence because they heard Nate go down the stairs quickly.
"Goodbye Mr and Mrs Mckay," he said, waving with his head down and a quick wave of his hand.
Nate went out and Dylan and Brenda looked at each other.
"Okay," Brenda admitted, "something must have happened."
Dylan looked deeply at Brenda.
'What?' Asked Brenda.
"Don't you want to go up and ask?"
"I have to finish the lasagna..." Brenda laughed, then gave up "ok, okay, I'm going to ask, I can't take any more teenagers... weren't we like that?"
Dylan raised his eyebrow "ask your father" he laughed taking the cordless in his hand.
"good one, McKay... " Brenda laughed.
XX
Brandon was arranging the garden. He and Grace formed a great team. Brandon opened the chairs, Grace cleaned them, placed the flowers in the centre of the tables.
"You look like your mother," he whispered to his daughter, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
'Really?' Grace was happy to look alike her mother, looked a lot like her physically and loved to look like her even in the care and elegance of things.
"You look a lot like her, your mother has always been good at these things..." Brandon told her.
'Good at what?' Kelly walked out the back door to bring some savoury pies.
"Wow sweetie," Brandon told her, putting a hand around her waist and helping her bring the dishes.
"You know I bought them, right?" Kelly asked, smiling.
"I know," Brandon whispered, kissing her on the mouth and taking in his hands what his wife was carrying.
"Your sister brings the lasagna for everyone, the salad is ready, even the potato one... oh I made that."
"I'm sure it's perfect," Brandon said smiling, "true Grace?" He asked his daughter and winked at her.
'Definitely...' Grace laughed.
"OK, you two, I decided to enrol in the cooking class," Kelly said, "after which you will pray me to cook for you."
Brandon came back close to his wife and whispered in her ear " but I pray to you already every night."
Kelly elbowed him "I didn't mean that"
The two exchanged a kiss under the eyes amused by Grace who loved the small gestures between her parents.
'Samuel?' Brandon asked.
"He's upstairs, he's finishing changing, he doesn't seem in a good mood..." Kelly said it with a worried air.
"Kel, we have to give him a break, some confidence, we went to anonymous alcoholics' meetings, at school grades improved, he resumed relations with Blanca and according to my sister and Dylan it's really all over between them, he's the captain of the football team... we can't behave like the Gestapo with him. He is going through a difficult time. I think his heart has suffered a lot but we've all been through it, it's going to him too."
Kelly nodded and looked up at the window of Samuel's room. I hope, she though.
XX
Donna arrived first together with Ethan. Ethan was little older than Grace and particularly resembled David.
"Don't tell me," Donna said, drinking some wine Brandon had poured to her, "every morning I look at him and I can't help but notice it, it's like having him in front of my eyes every day to remind me how much he ruined my life."
Kelly quickly looked at Brandon and then approached Donna.
"They'll be there tonight too..."
Donna took the last sip emptying the wine "I know" shook her head "It's not a problem, it's been years now and Ethan is always happy to be with his father, as for Valerie I'll do what I've been doing all these years, I will ignore her."
Donna breathed a long sigh under the eyes of Brandon and Kelly " and then I'm glad to see Joe again."
"I'm sure he's happy too," Brandon smiled.
Brenda, Dylan, Blanca and the twins entered at that very moment.
'Hey...'
Brenda immediately left the three lasagna trays on the centre table "they're still hot"
"You're always a salvation," Brandon said, waving to his sister with a kiss on the cheek.
"I heard you Brandon," Kelly scolded him with a smile.
Samuel came down at that moment.
"It was time for you to show up around here," his mother told him.
"I finished studying biology, because if I don't study then my mother gets angry," Samuel replied with a kiss on Kelly's cheek.
"Exactly," his mother replied.
'Hey Blanca'
"Hi..," the girl replied.
"Emma and Nate haven't arrived yet?"
Blanca shook her head, they hadn't arrived yet. She was actually excited at the idea of seeing Nate again so soon, she didn't know exactly how to handle it, that kiss that afternoon and especially the feelings that that kiss had brought out of her..
Blanca hadn't even realised that Samuel was staring at her.
"Are you okay?" He asked her.
Blanca smiled. Of course. I don't know I don't know anything anymore.
Joe arrived bringing a bouquet of flowers for the hostess "I didn't know what to bring" Joe said as soon as he walked into the house.
Kelly welcomed the bunch of sunflowers with joy "thank you they are beautiful" while Brandon patted him on the back "not all of them have arrived yet, but Donna is there and I want to introduce you to my sister you have never known and her husband Dylan, you may have met him..."
Joe nodded his head. He didn't know Brandon had bought his home back. House Walsh was totally renovated but from the outside it looked intact. The college years directly from the wonderful years.
When Joe made his entrance into the garden. Donna was distant. She held her glass of red wine in her hands. She saw him come in, little had changed.
Joe was introduced to Brenda, smiled at Dylan and then finally his eyes were on Donna.
The reflection of her seemed to have changed. More tired, more angry but retained the semblance of that girl Joe had known.
"How are you?" She asked him, hugging him.
"I'm happy to see you," he replied. He kept his eyes on her. He was desperately trying to find that girl he had asked to follow in his life and who had refused but found no trace of her.
Nate and Emma arrived together followed by Sean and Janet.
Seeing Janet bothered Blanca and she didn't know why either, maybe since that afternoon something had broken inside her, maybe hatch was the right verb.
Blanca was not surprised that the others were there too, the Walshs loved to give parties and loved having their son's friends in the house. Exactly like her grandparents Jim and Cindy did.
Blanca looked for Nate's eyes but he avoided looking at her, in fact he held on to Janet. He had affectionate gestures towards that girl who said he didn't love, waiting for her to break the things with him.
Blanca wondered what really happened that afternoon. She could not have felt only that fire that had been unleavelled at the bottom of her soul and even between her thighs. A disproportionate thing. That was Nate. Her friend Nate. Samuel's brotherly friend. Suddenly she found the solution to her thoughts. Samuel. Nate didn't look at her because of Samuel, because he couldn't read what had happened. Blanca narrowed her gaze to Samuel conversing with Emma.
"Would you like a drink Emma?" Samuel's smile caught her unprepared.
"Yes, thank you," Emma replied Shyly.
"I saw you the other day at the athletics field"
'What?' Emma asked.
"At the athletics field," Samuel repeated, " with Sanchez"
"Oh great," Emma replied, "You've seen yet another proof of my incapacity"
"Honestly" Samuel cleared his throat "That's not what I saw.."
"Ah no?"
'No'
"And what did you see?"
"I saw someone who wanted to make it"
"My parents insist that I do athletic," Emma replied. "I don't want to let it go, I like it, I'm good, but I'm not good enough for Sanchez, he wants to throw me out of the team"
Samuel's smile intrigued Emma "what.."
"Do you want me to help you?" The guy asked her.
"Do you want to help me prepare for the running?"
Samuel nodded. He looked at Blanca in the distance and found her eyes staring at him, his heart hurt. Emma immediately noticed following his gaze, then Samuel turned around "I'd like to help you if you let me, because it will help me too"
Emma looked at him without knowing what to say.
XX
Before it got dark, everyone had arrived, including David and Valerie. Steve was extremely affectionate with Joe and Clare too, it was like dusting off old photographs. Valerie and David greeted him with affection. For Joe it wasn't weird, when he met them the couples were those David and Valerie and Steve and Clare. In between all the years he had lost.
With Andrea and Philip the presentations were due and the evening began that way, remembering the old days, laughing, asking about the people they had known or had not known while the kids occupied separate tables and chatting about their own things.
Joe felt like he had gone back in time, discovered Donna's gaze on him several times, and then David's towards Donna while Valerie didn't notice anything.
It was like Dante's hell for Joe.
