Blanca walked for a long time that morning, it seemed that her legs were proceeding on their own. She was wearing an extra large sweatshirt and a pair of shorts. She had told her mother that she would go for a run and instead she walked, walked for a long time until her legs brought her straight in front of Nate's house.
Since the fight on the beach they hadn't talked to each other, she hadn't responded to his messages and had begged Emma not to say anything, because she knew she would have to do it, that she couldn't give such an assignment to anyone else.
By now it was twelve days late, every morning she looked in his briefs thinking that it was the right day to end the nightmare, and she didn't have the courage to take the test. Because the more days went by the more she didn't want to see the truth but Emma was right: she couldn't face everything alone.
She took courage and rang at Nate's house.
Her mother Miriam greeted her with a smile.
Nate's family had not been prejudiced towards Blanca, due to her father's new situation, Blanca had attended that house together with Samuel and Emma and together with Sean. Since they were little. Miriam had been very happy when she learned of the stable relationship between Nate and Blanca, because a mother knows everything and was perfectly aware of Nate's feelings towards Blanca and how he sacrificed himself to make room for Samuel. Because Samuel had precedence over everything for him.
"I'll get Nate off right away," Miriam said, "in the meantime, if you want you can wait in the living room."
"If you don't mind I'd like to wait out here"
Miriam immediately realized that something was wrong with the girl. She wasn't smiling as usual. In her mind she thought that surely Nate had done something. She didn't have much confidence in her boy, she loved him but... especially after he had taken Janet into her house.
Janet seemed to live on another planet, she had nothing in common with Nate and yet he had persisted in hiding in that story with Janet for a very long time.
Nate came down a few minutes later.
He was wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.
"Hei"
Blanca smiled.
Nate closed the front door behind him.
"I'm glad you came"
Blanca couldn't say a single word and Nate noticed it immediately.
"Blanca, talk to me, tell me what's happening to you"
He put his hands lovingly on her shoulders.
She looked him in the eye.
"I'm late," she said.
"Being late for what?" Nate asked.
"I mean my menstruation is twelve days late now"
Nate fell silent. They were facing each other.
Blanca didn't expect a big reaction and couldn't decipher what was going on in the mind of Nate who was just 17 years old like her.
"Are you sure?" He asked, stammering a little.
"I'm not sure about anything, I just know that I have this delay and I don't know what to do"
"Have you taken the pregnancy test?"
"No" Blanca shook her head "I hoped it was a false alarm but at this point."
Nate gave her a kiss on the forehead and then hugged her tightly.
He was as scared as Blanca was but he was happy that he finally knew the reason for her behavior and that reason had nothing to do with the end of their relationship.
Now the weight of fear passed from Blanca's shoulders alone to Nate's shoulders and even though it wasn't much it was nice not to feel alone and in the dark anymore.
It was a little relief, so Blanca let Nate take care of her and they stayed so long on the porch of her house.
XX
Brandon and Kelly took their kids out to lunch. They chose a restaurant in front of the sea. They had ordered fish, white wine for them, and the kids had chosen other specialties.
Sometimes it happened that they went out for lunch, it wasn't an abnormal thing, but Samuel realized almost immediately that the reason for that trip out of town was another and that they would soon find out.
"We wanted to talk to you about one thing," Brandon began by rubbing Kelly's hand.
Both Grace and Samuel paid attention to Brandon.
"Your mom isn't doing so well at this time," Brandon said.
Both kids widened their eyes in alarm.
"No," Brandon reassured them, "it's something that can be cured and your mom is putting the most effort into it. Unfortunately, the accident we suffered was very stressful for her, and now it has consequences, everything we ask of you is to understand and help mom. So we have to collaborate a little more in the housework, keep it in order, try not to make trouble, support her in every possible way, with cheerfulness, support feel such a beautiful verb.. I'm sure you will be able to do it in the best of ways, and it seemed honest to us to consider you old enough to understand this moment and talk to you about it"
"But what's wrong, Mom?" Grace asked with her big blue eyes.
"Sometimes," Kelly replied, "I can't handle anxiety, I'm afraid of everything."
The little girl approached her mother "and if I take your hand do you feel better?"
Kelly smiled "I feel better"
Grace gave her mother a caress while Samuel looked at her silently, it was his fault, not only had he risked his father's life but he had also compromised his mother's health.
Brandon tried to explain in a simple way what was happening to Kelly so that the two kids could fully understand what their mother might need.
"Sam?" Brandon was watching him.
Samuel got up and went to hug his mother very hard "I'm sorry mom" he whispered in her ear "We'll do everything we can and we'll do it together" said the boy "you're not alone".
Samuel's words moved Kelly.
She felt confused, she should have protected her children and instead the world had turned upside down and they were the ones who protected her. She shook Brandon's hand, squeezed Samuel and Grace, closed her eyes so as not to let out the anguish that was gripping her.
XX
Valerie and Ashley had spent several days together. Valerie found a certain similarity with her, a similarity that was not totally decipherable to her but that she clearly perceived.
Ashley hadn't been totally honest with her. She had told her about Arizona and her grandmother, but not a word about Dylan and the trial in court that was approaching, nothing about the alleged rape she suffered, the wounds on her face they were healing, why she was condemning Dylan's life.
Valerie told herself that it was only a matter of time but she couldn't hate Ashley, she felt towards her a common factor from which she could not let go and this helped her to be authentic with this girl, to be patient but time was running out.
In those days Valerie thought a lot about David. They hadn't keep in touch and hadn't seen each other, and that's because she didn't want to compromise what she was doing for Dylan. They didn't know who Ashley was and who she had behind her to protect her. Valerie tried to lead a normal life, invited Ashley home, pretended to be looking for a job, and even had herself escorted to interviews.
"Will you miss Los Angeles?"Valerie asked.
"I don't think so," Ashley replied, "this city has brought me more harm than good."
"And to think that so many people can't wait to move to California, at least I didn't expect anything else from Buffalo" Valerie said
Ashley dedicated a dull smile to Valerie.
"Sometimes," Valerie sighted "it seems like you want to tell me something, you're on the verge of saying something terrible and then you stop"
"Maybe that's the case," she confirmed, staring at her sternly.
XX
Dylan had a new cellmate. A young boy who called himself Milk.
He had white hair because he had lightened it far-fetched, maybe his nickname came from his hair color.
Unlike the Indian, Milk talked a lot, often more than he should, the cops had caught him after yet another car theft, he had had a drifting life and thought he was a boss, to Dylan he just looked like a poor skid boy, with no goal and that life had turned up in search of something Milk could never have had. He would never have found peace.
Dylan missed Brenda, he had already refused to see her a couple of times. It was too painful for him, every time Brenda left, Dylan was overwhelmed by the lack, it will be that inside a cell everything is amplified: feelings, loneliness, fear.
Brenda, however, managed to overcome the barriers and came to him every single night, lived in his dreams and his heart, told him about the children, about what they did about how the little ones didn't know anything, only that he had left for a long trip, and that he would be back soon.
Come back soon.
Going back home.
Dylan imagined him what it would be like the day he would come home, what could be the first thing he wanted to do, the second one, the third, and all This things have to do with his family. He thought about how much time he had lost as a Young boy, behind his fears, rejecting everyone for the fear of abandonment, even Brenda.
The truth was that Brenda had never abandoned him, he knew she was out there, and the strength of her love could break through the walls, crumble them.
XX
Nate waited for Blanca to get out of the bathroom. They had gone together to buy a pregnancy test, they had gone hand in hand. The pharmacist had looked at them in a strange way... here is another couple of teenagers in trouble.. he had probably thought of this but Blanca and Nate didn't care. They were together. They were dealing with it together.
When she came out of the bathroom he squeezed her to himself again.
"How long does it take?" He asked.
" five minutes"
Nate sighed "will it be the longest five minutes of our lives, who else did you tell?"
"Emma knows," she said, "but I asked not to say anything because I was the one who had to talk to you."
Yes, that's right, Nate thought.
"Whatever the outcome the two of us will face it together"
"What do you mean we're going to deal with it together?" Blanca asked, breaking the embrace.
"We are too young to have a child," Nate replied, "these are not decisions that are made like this, we have to reason about we are just 17 years old."
Blanca knew that Nate was right, that they had to think, that they had to make decisions, she felt the world collapse under her feet. She dreamed about going to some Ivy League universities, she dreamed that Xavier and Isabel could come to her diploma and graduation, what would her father think? How did she get into such a thing?
The five minutes lined up. Blanca and Nate looked at each other.
"Are you ready?"
Bianca nodded.
They approached the test leaning on Nate's bathroom sink.
Negative.
The test was negative.
They both remained like two fools looking silently at that contraption that could have changed the course of their history forever.
Then Blanca burst into a liberating cry and poured everything inside, fear, anguish, anger towards herself.
Nate tried to support her, gave her a kiss on the forehead. He wrapped the test in toilet paper.
"Let's go out, take a walk and buy ice cream, talk a little, throw this thing out."
Nate felt relieved and knew she was too.
XX
Kelly went to rest and Grace didn't want to leave her alone. She lay down next to her mother and asked her permission to read something to her.
Grace was the mother and Kelly the daughter.
Grace looked like a magical little girl, she could touch anyone's heart, she kept within herself a pure and intact love.
Brandon made some coffee and stayed a few minutes to check the emails on his laptop.
From the kitchen window he noticed Samuel sitting on the porch. He watched him for a few minutes. Then he went out.
"Hey Samuel, are you all right?"
Samuel shifted his gaze to his father and nodded then looked down again.
Brandon sighed and sat next to him.
"Are you worried about mom?"
"A little," he replied without looking up.
"Samuel" Brandon moved his son's face by touching him "you can talk to me, you know, you can talk to me about anything."
Samuel plunged into his father's eyes, came to his mind when he helped him learn to ride a bike without wheels, had left him and kept running beside him making him feel safe.
"It's about the accident dad"
'What about the accident?'
Samuel's tears began to rise like foam, they were unstoppable.
"I remember the accident," he said.
'Seriously?' Brandon asked
Samuel nodded.
"It was me dad, it was my fault," he said in one breath.
Brandon was confused.
"What was it your fault?"
"The accident" Samuel sobbing openly " we were arguing about what had happened at school, I told you I hated you, I hated you all, and I got my hands on the steering wheel, that's why you lost control of the car, it wasn't your fault but mine."
Brandon couldn't believe what Samuel was telling him and had opened his eyes wide.
"I'm sorry dad, I'm sorry"
By instinct Brandon took his son in his arms and held him tightly by kissing him on the head.
"It was my fault"
"No" Brandon shook his head.
"It's my fault that we got hurt, that you were close to death and that mom is like that now. It's all my fault, you didn't do anything wrong" Samuel sobbing uncontrollly.
"No," said Brandon, who had tears in his eyes. For the desperation of his son, for what had happened.
Brandon took his son's face in his hands, soaked in that pain and secret he had been carrying for too long.
"I didn't know how to tell you dad" Samuel had definitely collapsed.
"I thank you for having the courage to tell me the truth, few people would have done it, you are my son and I love you more than my own life. It was an accident Samuel, nothing but this: an accident and this secret we will keep for the two of us, the two of us alone, we will not tell either to mom or to Grace. You entrusted it to me and I will take care of it. Your mother needs us now and we will be there for her."
Samuel nodded.
"I love you dad" Sam told him "I'm not that person anymore, I'll never let you down again, I'll never hurt me and our family again"
"I love you too," Brandon replied, holding his son tight until he calmed down.
They stayed like this, on the porch of the Walsh house. A father and a son.
Just that.
A father and his son.
XX
"Listen McKay"
Dylan turned his gaze to the newcomer who sat on the cot that was once Indian's one.
"I received a delivery if you are interested"
'A delivery?' Dylan played dumb.
"I know you're full of money McKay, if you want I'll put something aside for you. What do you like heroin? No.. heroin is for the poor, you go to cocaine.."
"I'm not going to go to anything Milk, thanks for the offer, but forget it."
Dylan knew there were drugs in prison, but he didn't know they were in his cell.
"If you want to peddling here, I don't care, but make sure I don't get involved in any way"
"Relax McKay I just wanted to warn you and give you a pre-emption, you are always my cellmate, I respect certain things."
Dylan didn't answer. It had been clean for too long to be able to give in to any narcotic, but he felt the desire to try some, not to think about anything for at least an hour, but the truth about drugs was that it only makes you feel in heaven the first time you take it because after that it is a journey in continuous search of that feeling that you will never have again. It was a tunnel that Dylan knew perfectly well.
XX
The evening had fallen. Brandon was in bed next to Kelly.
She held on to him, that day at the beach had helped her to calm down the monster inside her and Grace's closeness had medicated every wound in her fight.
"He answered me," Brandon exclaimed suddenly as he checked his email.
"The guy from Washington?" Kelly asked.
"Yeah," Brandon opened the email and read the contents carefully.
"Oh my God," he spelled.
'What?' Kelly asked, trying to read too.
Brandon looked at her "I know who concocted this whole thing against Dylan"
'Who?' Kelly asked him whose eyes had lit up.
Brandon looked at her "I have to go to Brenda and make Matt come, can you be alone? Do you feel like it? I'll be right back"
"Yes of course.." Kelly replied "maybe I want to know who he is"
Brandon got up quickly.
"Come with me," he said, "I'll tell you as I get dressed.
XX
Matt arrived a few minutes after Brandon.
Brenda was waiting on the couch.
"What happened?" Matt asked as soon as he came in.
"I know who paid Ashely," Brandon revealed.
Matt looked at Brenda's shoulders, her face was worried and her eyes were flushed.
"Metrolux is controlled by three companies, Mugels, Firefox, Microtech."
Matt was trying to follow Brandon's speech.
"All three of these companies are controlled by Inwork"
"I don't understand," Matt said.
"Inwork has a single owner" revealed Brandon "Missie Salomon"
Brenda stood up "Jackson's wife. Jackson fucking son of bitch the producer. The one I reported for sexual harassment, the one that had control over half of Hollywood and that you see every week on talk shows as he tries to clean up his shit and throws it at Dylan and me."
Brenda lost the force on her legs and sat back to sit on the couch and held her head in her hands "everything that happened to Dylan is just my fault," she said desperately.
