The Bull watched Dylan. It looked like a beast waiting for the right moment to attack its prey.
He seemed to smell him from afar, enjoying it somehow and Dylan felt it on him, he knew that the moment would be inevitable, that sooner or later he would come face to face with him and his henchmen, and no one would stand against the Bull.
He had only calmed down after the last punishment suffered and had become under special surveillance , he could move little, he just waited for the guards to lower their attention, meanwhile he sent messages to Dylan. Philip the Indian saw him come back with a few bruises on his face and knew that Dylan had not relented.
He kept telling him that the spirits of evil would go and get him and that the day was almost here, not to give in in any way.
Philip and Dylan had made contact, something very deep. After his confidences about why he was sentenced to life in prison, Dylan felt he had found a silent ally, Philip was everywhere without really being anywhere.
The officer came to call him.
"Mckay, your lawyer is there," he told him.
Dylan got up from the cot, waved to the Indian and then walked down the corridors, passing from cell to cell including that of the Bull who watched him pass with a mean and malicious smile.
Dylan did the whole procedure, was searched, handcuffed and was taken to the interview cell. The only good thing about seeing Matt was that interviews with defenders were done in a separate room, with no guards watching you, just a silent camera and no sound being observed in the control room.
The metal door opened noisily. The officer removed Dylan's handcuffs and he entered the room.
He saw Matt and then saw Brandon next to him. His heart was filled with joy in a single instant. Tears rose to his eyes. Brandon had found the courage to do what he had failed to do in the months when Brandon's life had stuck to a wire and thousands of pipes that kept him alive.
He wanted to say something, he wanted to move but he knew that if he went beyond a handshake the guards would immediately intervene, the only thing that saved him was that there was no audio in that room, spying on the talks between defender and detained was absolutely forbidden.
Brandon saw him enter and his heart also felt the pain of distance. Dylan had lost weight, his almond-colored eyes were dull and they immediately rekindled as soon as she saw him. There was a tacit embrace between them, very tight, fraternal.
"We had to say he was my assistant," Matt said with a smile.
"Did they discharge you from the clinic?" asked Dylan, genuinely happy.
"No, I wouldn't say so, I ran away"
"You're what? Wow Walsh, you're becoming a revolutionary."
Brandon laughed amused "I wanted come here and to see you"
"I'm glad you're here," Dylan replied sincerely.
"Yes me too"
Moments of silence followed in which the two looked into each other's eyes then Dylan turned only to Matt under Brandon's watchful eye." Has Brenda seen the divorce papers? Did you tell her about it?"
Matt nodded his head "I told her about it but she refuses to sign, I left a letter from her at the entrance they will deliver it to you later I hope, and her only answer is she will not change it".
Dylan sighed in his heart he was happy that Brenda had not signed, he knew that their unique bond could not be broken with a stupid signature on a sheet of paper but he also knew how much this situation would create enormous problems for her, problems that Brenda already had.
"How are my kids?" asked Dylan.
"Your kids are fine, Luke and Lee Ann are often with Jim and Cindy, or with Grace, school is over and so they're protected from news about you or Brenda," Brandon replied with a half-smile.
"And Brenda?"
"Brenda is struggling with you."
Dylan put his head in his hands "it's a nightmare"
"We decided to send Valerie to hook up on Ashley and see if she discovers anything"
This news immediately made Dylan's head "Valerie?"
"It seemed to us the right idea, you know how Valerie is if she wants, she could manipulate anyone"
"What did she say?"
"We haven't asked her yet but I don't think she'll say no" Brandon ended the sentence with a grimace of pain, his legs still hurt, he still had pain and presumably needed to rest, at the clinic they had probably already warned Kelly and he knew he would find her angry but the need to go to Dylan was no longer controllable, especially after Dylan had sent the divorce papers, after seeing his sister's deep pain, her difficulty breathing.
"What should Valerie do?" asked Dylan.
XX
Blanca saw her mother's car crossing the driveway.
Aunt Donna had already arrived while both Emma and Blanca were making a cleansing mask and still had the towel rolled up on their heads and their hair wet, Clare had begun to place the brushes and all the accessories.
"Finally your mother has arrived" exclaimed Donna who looked at the clock "and even fifteen minutes of the mask have passed so go and rinse your wonderful faces".
Brenda opened the door and saw Donna and Clare coming down the stairs, she hid the divorce papers quickly inside a drawer in the bookshelf and as she closed the drawer her heart hurt.
She knew that Dylan didn't really want to divorce her, she knew it was the last gesture to protect her but Brenda didn't want to be protected, she wanted her husband, she wanted her life back, she wanted to be able to touch Dylan, see him in the morning by her side, watch him while he slept, or while he sipped coffee and then chatted with their children.
"Are you all right, Brenda?" asked Donna who had been watching her for a long time.
She tried to bring out the best smile, she had locked that document in the drawer, she would never sign, probably later she would set it on fire, she would take Dylan and his three kids and run away, to another country. They would open a kiosk in front of the beaches of Mexico and live like this, only her, her love, and her family.
"Brenda?"
Brenda interrupted her thoughts and replied "all right, are the girls ready?"
"We were waiting for you, we are ready with all the accessories"
"Good," she replied.
XX
"Wow, you two are really wonderful," Kelly said as she looked at Samuel and Nate, "black is always elegant, wait for me to fix your tie better."
Kelly untied Nate's tie from his neck and put it around her neck, with clever gestures formed a better knot, then returned the tie to Nate.
"Who taught you Mom?"
"Your father," Kelly said with a smile, "is something I asked him to teach me and perfected myself."
Kelly took one last look at the boys "you're really perfect, do you mind if I take a picture of you? I want to show it to your father"
"Are you going to the clinic again?"
"Yes, Grace wanted to go to your grandparents with Lee Ann and Luke, you two go to the party, I want to go to your father, but I'll be home when you come back"
Samuel watched his mother carefully, the fear of the last few months had changed her, it was as if she was afraid of losing everything at any moment, as if everything could slip again. The doctor had said that Dad could return home soon, perhaps from the following week, and continue rehabilitation therapy from home. Samuel's leg was also better, he could walk normally even if he was a little weakened.
Nate and Samuel posed for several photographs to which Sean was added.
The limo arrived shortly after to take the boys to the McKay home and then finally to the end-of-year party.
Kelly looked at her son and it really seemed to her that she was seeing Brandon as a young man, when they were still but an embryo of the love they would become.
XX
"What if Valerie can't hook Ashley? You said it too, we know absolutely nothing about her, except about Arizona and her grandmother, and from my publisher she is a promising new hire who came out of nowhere," Dylan said with a loud sigh.
"It's an attempt we have to make Dylan, the evidence gathered by the police and the prosecutor are all against you, I only have your word: that her phone didn't work, that you just drove her home, that she told you to climb over the fence and that she kissed you."" it's clearly someone's plan, and something happened to Ashley that night, we have to figure out what, we have no other choice."
"Yes, but what if it doesn't work?" Dylan looked at Brandon first and Matt and knew the answer.
"I came this far, Dylan, I came up here and they didn't even let me use crutches, I had to walk alone through this whole fucking corridor with a pain you can't even imagine, to look you in the eye and tell you that we don't leave you alone, neither Brenda nor I, nor others, but you must keep faith and hope, it is not over until we say that it is over."
Brandon's words immediately entered Dylan's heart, they were fresh air for his lungs, he wanted to talk to him about the Bull and Philip, how he couldn't sleep at night, about the evil smile, he even wanted to talk to him about how every night his soul came out of those bars and tied to Brenda's, profoundly.
"I never walked into your room when you were in the hospital," Dylan said, looking him in the eye.
"Yes, you were there. You were there. Physical distance is not the distance of the spirit," Brandon gave him a brief intense smile.
"It will be better to go, at the entrance I left the things you asked for and Brenda's letter, it will have to pass the censorship so I think the guards will read it but then there will be no problems."
Brandon and Dylan shook hands but it was clear that they wanted to hug. Brandon struggled to get up and was supported by Matt, the physical pain he felt entered Dylan, he even seemed to be able to feel it, if Brandon did not give up then neither did he.
He let the officer handcuff him again and then take him away.
"Come on," Matt said to Brandon "I'll take you back to the clinic.
XX
Blanca and Emma were ready.
"You are absolutely the most beautiful young women I have ever seen," said Donna, "and to say that I see beautiful women every day," she said.
The two girls really were, it must have been love, it must have been the happiness of the moment, that night that could have been entangled forever in their young hearts.
"Thank you Donna," they both smiled.
Brenda was moved and it seemed a relief to be able to cry, to finally be able to let out those tears that had been inside her all day.
"Mom, don't cry like that," Blanca told her with a smile, unaware of the storm behind her mother.
"You're right" smiled Brenda then turned only to Donna and Clare "let's leave them a little alone for the final touches and go down for a drink, the boys will be here at any moment and these two wonders must make a stratospheric entrance".
"Yes, I agree," Clare replied "I'm devastated"
Brenda, Clare and Donna went down to the kitchen and Brenda opened one of the bottles of wine from her reserve.
"Now I can tell you Brenda" Clare told her "you keep telling us that you are fine but it is evident that it is not so, we are perfectly aware of the situation ..."
Brenda interrupted her by pouring the wine into their glasses "... It was a terrible day," she said. " now My daughter and her best friend are going to the party, their boyfriends are coming to pick them up and they are about to live a dream, I do not want to talk about this day that is added to the terrible days I had, nor watch television, I want to drink good wine with two friends, tell me something, How are you?"
"Joe and I made love," Donna said in one breath.
"What?" asked Clare.
Donna nodded blushing.
"For the first time in years I feel serene, I feel that someone has the desire to be with me, I feel happy"
"I'm happy," Brenda whispered as she passed her the glass, "and I'm glad you want to talk to us, I mean I'm so tired of thinking, what was it like?"
"Well, it was beautiful, Joe was still a virgin..."
"What did you say?" asked Clare, her mouth wide open.
Brenda sipped her wine "seriously?"
"Seriously, it was something we had in common in college, Joe shared my same beliefs, staying a virgin until marriage, and while I betrayed my beliefs, he didn't, he preferred to keep his virginity intact until the other day"
"Wow," Brenda said, glancing at Clare.
"But you didn't get married..." Clare said.
"No, but that morning David came to pick up Ethan, for all these years I was angry with him and he never cared about me."
"This is not true Donna"
"He threw away our marriage, he wanted his freedom, how could I forgive everything if I wasn't sure I would survive? I've always been so angry, with him and Valerie, sorry Brenda, I know she's your friend."
Yes she is," Brenda replied, "but so are you" and smiled.
"That morning David came, he behaved in a strange way, as if he was jealous, but I know he was not jealous at all, he exercised his possession over me, the idea that I could be someone else's destabilizes him"
"Did something happen?"
"He kissed me"
Brenda and Clare both placed the glass on the table but asked no questions, they let Donna continue her story.
"He kissed me and it all immediately came back, all the anger, all the love, but in that moment I realized one thing, once and for all."
"Of what?"
"That I had to move on with my life, that the David I loved and knew was gone a long time ago and will never come back, and I'm tired of having my heart abused, I'm really tired."
At that moment the doorbell rang.
"Okay," Brenda said, "I think the guys came, let's take pictures, send them to the party, and then shoot again?"
Clare and Donna smiled "of course".
XX
Dylan returned to the cell. He found Philip sitting reading the Holy Bible. They waved quickly and then saw on the bed clean undershirts that Matt had delivered to him and a white envelope with the handwritten name "Dylan" on it. It was Brenda's handwriting. He would have recognized It in a million.
He took the envelope in his hand and looked at it for a long time.
Dylan sighed and then opened it.
My love
I'm here in the garden of the clinic, Matt just gave me the documents you made him write to divorce me. I have them right in front of me. There is my name written at the bottom and a long line where I should put the signature. A long line to put an end to everything.
When two human beings meet it is an extraordinary fact but when two souls recognize each other it is something miraculous. You are my miracle. We have always celebrated deep and silent festivals in which we grew up to face storms at the moment when these storms would overwhelm us. Here is a storm from which I will pull you out, united with you, and never separated.
We touched each other, we got used to each other, we moved away, I saw you come back, you saw me come back, and we were always in front of each other with that nostalgia for our moments together, for our bodies inside each other, for evenings awake laughing, for seeing our children born. That love is fluid, it is alive, it has survived under the ashes and a line will not be enough to stop it. Years will not be enough to make dead flesh out of it.
We've gotten lost and found each other so many times that I don't really know how to count them, and you really want me to end this long love story along that line? As if we didn't exist?
You are my miracle, you heal my soul exactly as I can heal it to you, you possess my whole heart even when my heart was too far away, instead I was there watching you in silence, observing your mistakes, your smiles, that only our way of looking at us and possessing us.
I will not allow this story to drive us crazy, I will not allow it to make us tremble until we become unsafe. I will never sign my divorce from you because you are my miracle.
You are in the confused territory of anguish and I want to be your light, if this world collapses we will resurrect it the next day, and again and again until the end of time. You, I and the kids can be resurrected wherever we want and you know that it is.
I will not inflict on you this pain of not seeing me return even if you want to inflict on me that of terrible silence.
We were both guilty, we were both innocent, we were everything, we were nothing, but we will never be that line, because you are my miracle, my happiness, everything around me bears your name and does not even have the outline of that line.
I will not sign, make war on me if you want, but I remain your proud wife, and you my love.
My miracle.
I love you, I have always loved you even when you deserved it less, you can imagine how much I love you now that you deserve it more.
I don't sign, hit me if you want, but I won't give in. I will never walk that line I will only walk the road that will lead me straight to a new us.
I love you, forever yours, Brenda.
Dylan was surprised when a tear fell on the paper with Brenda's handwriting. He felt better, he felt worse, he felt like he didn't know either.
"I would give anything to be able to read a letter from Alice or to be able to hear her voice," said Philip, who as always seemed to perceive everything.
The Bull appeared at that moment with his two henchmen. Both Dylan and Philip immediately got up from their loungers to protect themselves in some way.
"Hey Mckay I just came to greet you," the Bull told him with an ugly face. He approached Dylan's face. His breath smelled terribly.
The Bull put his hand on Dylan's genitals "it's time to pay for what I want" took Dylan's hand and forced him to feel his erection.
"Indian go away" the Bull ordered Philip. Dylan looked at Phiip with a humiliated and angry look as the Indian seemed to remain calm.
"Get out of here," the Bull shouted at him.
Philip lowered himself to take the Bible, opened it quickly and pulled out an awl, with a very fast movement he skewered it straight into the carotid artery of the Bull. Blood immediately splattered out, and the bull let out an excruciating scream. He began to struggle in the room like a chicken whose head had just been cut off then fell to the ground. His two friends immediately ran away to call the guards while Philip stood there, stained with blood, with a serene look.
"I told you that evil spirits would come and get him soon," he said.
Dylan took a look at the Bible still open and saw that it was not, the Indian had cut the sheets so that an awl entered inside. All that time the Indian was just waiting. He was fasting waiting.
"I have nothing," Philip said, "but you still have your life, don't let it go, you're a miracle," he said.
Those last words shocked Dylan "you are a miracle" how could he know?
The guards arrived immediately and ascertained the death of the Bull. His miserable life of abuse and rape ended in a pool of blood in a cell, killed by an Indian whose life had ended at least ten years earlier.
XX
When Brandon returned to the clinic he found the nurses agitated and Kelly sitting in the chair in his room.
Kelly saw him enter and pulled up her face streaked with tears.
Matt felt how angry and despaired the air was.
They had gone out for a walk and disappeared for hours and had not said anything to Kelly because surely it would have prevented Brandon from going to Dylan.
Kelly jumped up and slapped Brandon's cheek. His eyes widened, and he could see the fear that was mounting inside Kelly. She began to punch Brandon's chest "why you did this to me, you decided to drive me crazy.."
"You..." she only turned to Matt "how did you allow yourself to take him out, who gave you permission to do such a thing"
Brandon stopped Kelly's hands trying to hold her and brought his mouth to her ear "I'm sorry, please, I had to go to Dylan"
Kelly cried "I am terrified of losing you, you have no idea what hell these months have been, of what atrocious fear I have had for all these months, and you take and disappear and you don't even bother to warn me, leave me," she said to him, trying to get away.
"I'm not leaving you until you calm down," Brandon told her.
Matt slipped out the door and locked it.
"Forgive me," Brandon whispered, "it will never happen again I had to go."
Kelly calmed down and dissolved into a liberating cry "don't scare me like that anymore," she said.
"I promise," he told him.
Kelly helped Brandon lie down in bed. He was exhausted. Then she lay down next to him, Brandon held her tightly in his arms and they said nothing.
Nothing about Dylan, nothing about the divorce, nothing he wanted Valerie to do for them.
It was a time just for her. He stroked her hair for a long time "I'm sorry" .. until they both fell asleep.
