Where The Numinous Awaits

Ch. 1: Nixie's Mother

July 1 | Dusk

Whirring flashes of cameras heralded my arrival at the award's ceremony, lighting up like nebulae signaling a star being born. A thousand shutter-clicks played percussion as I floated down the red carpet in a pink froth of taffeta designed by the finest fashion house.

I was surrounded by enraptured fans. Blinded by the lights, the masses became an indistinct blur of adoration. Entertainment journalists fell at my feet like so many flowers. One insistent soul pressed a microphone at me. "How does it feel to receive six Grammy nominations on your freshman album?"

"It feels..." I hesitated, enveloped by the heady perfume of success, witnessing myself beaming from the videographer's lens. "...Like coming up for air after drowning all your life."

Then I was above the stage, rigged to hidden wires and fall protection, as a hush fell over the arena. It would be the performance on everyone's lips for months. Backup dancers swept in as I was lowered in a shimmering glass bubble.

All I could see was the limelight. I pictured the maestro peering up at me from the orchestral dias below. The thinnest hum of violin strings ushered an inhale into my lungs. The glass bubble suddenly unfolded in the shape of a lotus, and I opened my mouth. My song broke the dam of my throat. Out poured a melody so pure—

"Did you hear me?" Fitz tapped my foot again.

Singing quietly under my breath, I tugged an earbud free. "What is it?"

"Your mom said, can you bring her a glass of water? She's in the bathroom."

Glitzy Los Angeles faded as the heat of Arizona zapped me to reality. The oscillating fan in the corner of the living room struggled to shift the stale air. Fitz stood over me in a sleeveless tank plastered to his body, and he had one of Mama's good towels, using it to soak the sweat from his brow. Best friends since grade school, he could get away with it because he was practically family.

I set aside the dating app I was perusing and peeled myself from the faux leather couch. A crack in the surface pinched the dry skin of my torso, and I grimaced. Stupid couch was older than me. And why couldn't Mama fetch her own water?

Fitz turned to speak into his phone in a muted voice. I could tell by his tone he was talking to his girlfriend. "I told you I'm coming over after I'm done here, Julissa," he murmured.

I rolled my eyes, smiling, as I marched into the kitchen and searched through the dishes on the counter until I found a clean glass. Filling it with ice, I cracked open a bottle of water from the stack leaning precariously in the pantry.

"That girl is so damn clingy," Fitz complained as he got off the phone.

"Whatever. You like it." I faced him with a smile.

"Hey, check this out," he said.

I widened my eyes at the fistful of cash he removed from his pocket. "You got it?" I laughed in amazement.

"That's everything I could save in a summer. What about you? How much were you able to put away?"

"I–" How could I tell him Mom had found my stash of money and used it to cover bills? His piercing blue eyes met mine. I pivoted and stared at the age-stained linoleum. "How will Julissa feel about this?"

"Julissa knows I've been planning to move. This is our chance to ditch this hell hole. Come to LA with me so you can stop daydreaming about making it big and live out your fantasies in real life. You need the adventure. We've talked about this for ages."

"Okay, but I didn't think you were serious, and my mom..."

As if on cue, Edwina Murphy called my name from the bathroom. I glared down the hall at the light seeping around the perimeter of the door. She sounded weak and tired like she always did after working a double at the nursing home. My glare disappeared.