9: Hammered

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The best part of a party is when it when it really begins to ramp up. People are on the verge of becoming drunk, yet are only just still in control of their motions. Everyone has a loose memory of having a lot of fun.

I noticed Mattheo and Draco early on, stood by the side of the room, avoiding the large crowd of dancing in the middle. But now I've been quite involved in the atmosphere, and haven't searched the room for him in a while. The song comes to an end and everyone cheers. Pansy is always the life of the party, always slightly ahead of everyone else in terms of drinks. She almost always ends up fucking hammered. I never let myself reach that state anymore, not after last time I did. Enzo had to deal with me after I lost it. I promised him and myself that I couldn't allow myself to go that far. I'm messy drunk, and I say things that I don't mean, and do things I regret. I'll have a good drink of course, but never as much as last time.

I leave Pansy and Astoria, heading for the drinks table during some song I don't recognise. I spot Mattheo as I reach the edge of the crowd, and he pushes himself off the wall and walks towards me.

"Having fun?" He shouts, although his voice was drowned out by the music.

I'm already quite tipsy. Yet not as intoxicated as everybody else around me. "What?" I shout back, pretending I didn't hear what he said.

He said something else, which I actually didn't hear this time. So I moved around to the other side of the table, so I was stood directly next to him. He put one hand on my back, and leaned into my ear. The hand on my back is a big thing, I keep hoping he moves it down to my waist.

"You look like you are having fun." He says into my ear, a slight laugh behind his voice.

"Not as much as you." I say into his ear once he leans back. "Standing at the side of the room looks like a proper thrill." He is taller than I thought he was, I had to angle my head upwards. I pull away from him, and wonder back to Pansy and Astoria.

Its been ages now, my head is about to explode from my skull. The music is splintering and I'm being shoved around by the endless wave of people. I've drunk more than I was planning on and all I want to do is tell everyone to shut the fuck up.

"I'm going for a walk Pans," I yell at her.

She leans in, shouting "OK." in my ear, making me feel more deaf than I already do.

Pushing my way though the crowds, I can feel my breath quickening. I lock eyes with Mattheo again as I reach the edge and continue towards the door. I reach into the pile of jackets until I can find mine, then throw it over my shoulders. He is dancing now, in his big group of boys, although he almost stops when notices I'm leaving. He shouts something at his friends then turns around. I'm not one to wait, so I leave quickly before I have a heart attack.

As soon as I shut the door behind me, I instantly feel relieved. My head is still pounding slightly, and I feel as if I can still hear the music, although the common room has a silencing spell on it. I begin walking towards the staircases, knowing exactly where I'm headed. The bench is my spot, although the thought of Mattheo following me to it doesn't seem to bother me.

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