Smoker (Mattheo Riddle fic)

21: Embarrassed

I reach the opening into a the corridor and instantly turn and begin walking. My hands are visibly shaking as I frantically push my hair out of my fac. I'm trying to slow my breathing but I'm also walking at a million miles per hour which isn't helping. I don't know where I'm going, I'm just walking. I can feel my cheeks burning bright red and I'm so hot I'm practically melting. However, I have had worse ones, so I kind of know what to do . I'm starting to regain a bit of control I think, however I keep moving my hands around, up and down, to hide the fact that I am still shaking.

I realise I'm approaching the Divination tower, and decide to go in. No one will be there, nobody wants to be anywhere near Trelawny unnecessarily. I quicken my pace for the last few steps , before I explode. I immediately turn the corner, to the window behind the door so no one can see me. I let out the air I've been holding I, naturally letting my breath quicken again. I lean and put my hands on the windowsill, and shift my weight to my heels. I turn my head towards the floor, trying to take deeper breathes.

"Evelyn?" Someone says from behind me.

I snap up straight and spin to see Mattheo stood in the doorway. "Fucking hell." I say, although it obviously sounded panicked or something because I can tell he has picked up on what is going on. I don't know at what point he saw me come in here, whether he just happened to notice me enter, or if he has seen the whole display as I rushed around to find a rock to crawl under. I turn back to the window to try and compose myself, pushing my hair back, even though my hands are still shaking.

He comes over and stands on my right, pulling me to face him. He reaches for my arms and holds on to my wrists to keep them still. Being forced to be still makes my irregular breathing even more obvious. He must understand what I'm feeing, because he doesn't bombard me with questions or repeatedly ask if I'm okay. He just looks at me while I try to slow myself down. Normally in this situation I would move my hands around, because I cant be still. But he is holding them in front of me. I tense my shoulders and my neck up and down uncomfortably, and move my head around, scattering my vision around the room. I feel so embarrassed.

"Look at me Evelyn."

I can't look at him, I cant focus on anything particular and I keep moving my eyes anywhere else.

I feel the grip on my wrists tighten. "Look at me."

I force my eyes to him and he gives me a reassuring look. "You're okay." He says. "You're okay."

We hold the eye contact until my attack is over and my breathing has slowed. I stand up straight and he lets go of my arms. I turn and sit down on the windowsill, placing my hands face down on either side of me. He also sits, placing his right hand on top of my left. I open my fingers apart, and his fall in-between, then they curl round so his fingertips are touching the top of my palm. I curl my fingers too, looking his in place.

Somebody giggles, we both look up to see Trelawny stood on the winding staircase, looking back at us. "The leaves don't lie." She says to Mattheo, the walks down the last few steps and leaves the tower.

"The leaves don't lie." He repeats at me, beginning to smile.

"Crazy Bitch knows what she's talking about." I respond.