Earphones

Chapter 12: Therapist

A therapist? That's it? Well, I thought it was gonna be worse than that. "A therapist? Really, guys? I'm fine and I manage very well by myself."

"Fine? Having two panic attacks in a day, you call that fine?" Nina says.

"Well maybe not fine, but I know how to deal with it." I try to convince them to drop it.

"Stop lying to yourself, Alex. You need help and we already booked you an appointment for Thursday afternoon so you can't say no." Leo says.

"Listen, just go to that appointment and if doesn't help you at all then fine deal with your problems by yourself, but if does help than promise me to continue." Nina adds.

"I don't know why you care so much about this but ok I'll go Thursday."

"And..."

"I promise to continue if it helps me." I said annoyed.

"That's settled, then. I'll send you the appointment details." Nina informed me.

"Now, back to Elizabeth, what are you doing to do?"

That's the question I didn't want to think about. I still told them about all my doubts while they tried to give me some advice.

♡

Today's Thursday and let's say I'm not at all prepared for the day to start. Especially since I just woke up and it's 3pm, and I have my therapist's appointment at 4. For my defense, the waking-up-late part is not my fault, Leo dragged me yesterday in this club and he let me have a little too much fun.

Anyway, here I am, hurrying my ass not to be late. Even though I'm still not all in for this therapist appointment thing, I still want to be on time. I threw on some plain clothes, grabbed my bag, earphones and headed out.

I arrived at my destination to find myself face to face with an all-too-familiar building — I must be mistaken — and took a minute before entering. I found the therapist's office easily enough and took a seat in the waiting room.

"Alexia?" I lifted up my head and before I even saw them I knew who that was, Dr. Carmen Holt, my former therapist — how did they found out? "Come on in!"

I took my things and went into her office. I don't know how I feel because either it's gonna be easier because she already knows most of it or it's gonna be awkward because she knows most of it.

"It's nice to see you again! How long has it been? 6 years? 7?" She said as she sat in her chair, a notebook in her am. "Come on sit, make yourself comfortable."

I took a seat on the sofa. "Yeah, it's been awhile. How have you been?"

"Great. Still here as you can see, but we're not here to talk about me. So, what do you have to tell me?"

"Uhm, I don't really have a lot to say. It's my best friends who wanted me to go see a therapist — I don't even know how they got your info — but I'm not sure how you can help me." I tell her frankly.

"Right, I see. Maybe you know why they wanted you to go see me?" She asked softly.

"Yes, things happened, but I think they overreacted. It's just that I started having panic attacks again, but I managed them well."

"I don't doubt it. Only I don't think the problem is how well you're coping, it's why you're having them again." It's amazing how a therapist can read into anything. "If I'm not mistaken, it's been a while since you've had any?"

"Yes, I was doing well for a few years now." I confirmed.

"Did something happen recently?"

"Well, yes I think I know what caused them to come back." I took a pause. "You know that I had been working at an architecture firm, I had an important post there and my boss — who has become a friend over the years — entrusted me with a crucial contract for the company. So, when I failed, I couldn't bear that I had led down not only my boss but the whole firm with it, that's what encouraged me to resign." I explained.