Our Conditions

⬍ 32/33 - HUNTER (DELETED CHAPTER)

MY SISTER
MY COMFORT

"What do you mean?" Bendis asks as she hands my son a small ice cream pop she made.

"What do you say?" I ask him.

He looks at me then at my sister. "Tank-que." He says as he takes it from her then kisses her on the cheek. "Ice." He says happily as he wobbles back to the living room and sits on his play mat.

"He's gotten better." Bendis says as she gets up off the chair and puts the container of popsicles back in the freezer.

"Yeah." I nod. "Completely thanks to you and Violet."

I wish I could help more, but I'm always fucking working or getting emails from my dad.

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself." She says as she closes the freezer.

"How can I not be?" I say back at her and walk to the stove. "You don't understand how shitty I felt when I asked my son's doctor if he needs speech therapy." I stir the food in the pot. "Or how shitty I felt when the I got told that he does need it. The only bright side that they told me is that speech therapy at home was a thing and that my son wasn't that bad." I put the spoon down. "I've failed as a father and he's not even two yet. How else am I supposed to feel?"

"Hunter Anderson. You have not failed as a father. You take that back right now." She scolds me.

"I'm just stating what I felt Bendis." I refuse to look at her. "I love my son and I can't live without him. I just wish his biological mother wasn't his biological mother."

Five years. That's all I had to wait in order to have met Violet. If I would've just waited five fucking years, then things would've probably been so different.

I wouldn't have married Hazel since I would've built up the courage to tell my dad to fuck off. I could've given Lance a good childhood from the start. But I fucking fucked it up.

I don't regret having Lance, no. Never that. I regret having Lance with Hazel.

If I would have just waited five years than Lance wouldn't have been Hazel's and definitely would've been Violet's. He wouldn't have delayed speech and he would've been born into a stable good family.

"Tell me about it." She stops taking for a second. "Wait." She clears her throat. "Has she made contact with you yet?"

"No." I shake my head. "But she will soon. Especially since I locked her account."

"She was still spending your money?" She asks.

"Of course, she was." I sigh. "When hasn't she spent my money?"

"The audacity?" She sahakes her head. "She never worked a day in the five years you guys were together." She scoffs. "How did you put up with her?"

"I loved her." I say as I turn the stove off. "Well, I think I did."

Bendis hands me three bowls. "I told you she was a narcissist from the beginning. I told dad the arrangement was terrible."

I shake my head. "He didn't care." I pour the food into one bowl. "He married me off to a narcissist who has always heavily used drugs. I'm not important to him."

"You're the heir to everything he has. He does care." She says which causes me to laugh.

"The man full heartedly believes that he's going to be running things his whole life even after he dies." I shake my head. "If he could live forever and never give me shit. He would."

Bendis looks at me with a big frown on her face. "Hunter-" She trails off. "Never mind." She shakes her head. "We got extremely off topic." She takes the bowl from me. "So, you're finally going to confess everything to Violet?"

"Yeah." I nod as I prepare another bowl of food. "It's long overdue."

"No, for real." She says sarcastically. "You would think you would've told her everything months ago."

"I'm sensing a lot of sarcasm from you." I say sarcastically as I hand her the bowl I have in hand.

"Not just sarcasm." She shakes her head and takes the bowl for me. "I wish I could smack you upside the head for what you did."

"We've been over this. I thought I was-" She cuts me off.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard your pathetic excuses the first time." She rolls her eyes. "When are you going to talk to her?"

"Tomorrow after her cheer practice." I answer as I put the lid on the pot.

"Wait, she's a cheerleader?" She does a doubletake.

"Yeah." I nod. "She's a captain."

"That explains a lot." She then tilts her head at me. "If you guys would've been the same age you guys would've been the typical football and cheerleader couple."

"No." I say with a laugh. "Plus, she probably wouldn't have liked me in high school."

It's unlikely that Violet and I would've been together if we were the same age. I was shit at keeping relationships. Especially because I'd always want to take things slow since I was a virgin. Unfortunately for me, girls weren't attracted to that.

"False." She shakes her head. "You were Mr. popular quarterback." She reminds me. "You guys would've been the typically high school teen drama show and people would've ate it up like a buffet."

Partial part of me burns inside at her last sentence because she'd probably be right. I would've been in Justin's position, and he wouldn't have existed in Violet's world. I also would've been her first and she probably would've been only mine.

We would've been the definition of a book to life perfect relationship.

Just another one of the many fucking things that could've been different, and I don't know how to feel about it.

"Anyways, let's eat. I'm starving." She says all of a sudden.

"Yes mom." I say semi jokingly.

Bendis basically raised me throughout my entire life, and it shows every single time and in every aspect. 

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