Against All Odds

Chapter 30

STELLA

I swiped as discreetly as I could at the burning tears determined to creep out the corners of my eyes, keeping my head lowered as I traipsed back inside the reception hall. The lights were dimmed and thankfully I doubted anyone would notice a heartbroken mess skulking through the crowd, but I needed to pull myself together if I was going to make it through the rest of the evening.

In the dark recesses of my mind, the emptying pit of my heart, I felt like berating myself for allowing this to happen again, to be in exactly the same position I was all those years ago. I had run headlong into my own personal tragedy, welcomed it with open arms. Why was I so damn surprised it hurt like a bitch?

Around me, people moved towards the centre of the hall where they convened around a large, square dance floor that was currently being lit up with dozens of colourful little lasers. Sadie and Sipho stood at the centre and my gut clenched when I realised it was time for their first dance as husband and wife. The notes of a romantic rock melody were beginning to echo through the soundsystem while the happy couple smiled lovingly into each others' eyes.

My throat constricted, my fists clenching where I hugged them tightly against my sides, and I knew I was disintegrating right then and there. I needed a moment- just a little time to get myself under control, have a bit of sob, and then I'll be able to face all this.

But right then, as I watched my best friends celebrate their love for each other, I thought I would expel the contents of my empty stomach if I had to witness it a moment longer. I pivoted, searching desperately for an escape that would allow me to disappear unnoticed for a short period. I spied the singular doorway that led to the hallway where the bathrooms were located. It was unlikely that they would be occupied what with the crowd's attention on the dancing couple, so I headed for it. My steps were quick as I skirted along the edges of the room, praying that I wasn't seen as more tears came unbidden to my eyes and trickled down my cheeks.

I slipped inside and hurried down the hallway until I found the ladies' toilets, and as quickly as I could I found an empty stall and locked myself inside.

Not a moment too soon as the ugly-sounding sobs erupted from me.

God, I hated feeling like this- wretched and torn apart by horrid anguish. It was a different type of grief, a panicky, clawing sense of loss for another person who is very much present and attainable- just not for you.

And the worst of it? I still yearned for him. I wanted nothing more than to run back to Killian and work things out- somehow, some way.

I don't know how I managed the strength to refrain from doing just that, but as I sat atop a cold toilet seat, choking on my burning tears, I did. I may be an impetuous woman, but I wasn't stupid enough to not understand that this thing between Killian and I wasn't going to work.

"Stella?"

Fuck.

I made a choking hiccough of a sound, surprised and equally distraught that somebody had followed me. No, not someone.

Dom.

He knocked on the door of the stall I was in. "Hux? You there?"

"Not now, Dom." I cringed at the warbly sound of my voice because it was blatantly apparent at what I had been doing.

"Nuh-uh. Open up or I'll crawl under."

That made a tiny wet chuckle emerge from me as just picturing Dom's bulk attempting to squeeze under the gap of the stall was ludicrous. Clearly, I had hesitated for longer than was acceptable because I heard and then saw him drop to his knees. "That's it, I'm-"