Against All Odds

Chapter 32

KILLIAN

I wasn't used to Dominick Mulder issuing warnings or threats my way, but I was told that he had a bit of a wild side to him that none of us had borne witness to during university.

I had a feeling I was facing it now.

For reasons I wasn't quite sure of, to be honest, and I endeavoured to curb the anger that rose to the fore. I didn't enjoy confrontation, especially if it fell under the category of aggression, but the tension that was rolling off the considerably larger man in front of me, deliberately barring my entrance into the house - and after Stella- was igniting those sparks.

"Dom," I began cautiously. "Wasn't aware I had a scheduled bedtime."

"You do- tonight." He glanced behind him, the dimly lit hallway empty while we stood facing off in the shadows outside. Then his piercing gaze pivoted back to me. "Just go to bed," he repeated. "Your own bed."

That did something to me- something roiling and dark and wholly overwhelming. Bitterness flooded the back of my throat and made my senses thrum with warning. "What makes you think you can-"

"Oh, I can, and I will." He took a step closer, bringing us almost toe to toe. My jaw clenched- disbelief and anger warring within me. Disbelief that one of my closest friends would have the gall to push into my business like a bullheaded asshole. "If I have to physically restrain you from going to her, I will."

"It's none of your damn business, Dom."

He smirked - smirked - and for the first time in my life I could envision planting my fist into the jaw of another human being. How I refrained, I would never know, but each tendon on my forearm was straining against my flesh. "It became my business," he told me. "It became my business the moment that she had no one else to turn to because you fucked up."

"You don't want to do this," I gritted out. "You don't know what you're talking about." But a niggling doubt latched onto my consciousness- had Stella confided in Dom? Truthfully, there was nothing preventing her from doing so and I was hardly going to call her out for it, but it stung that she would.

It was something that had been unspoken between us - not to involve our mutual friends in any sort of disagreement or issue that arose between us.

"I don't need to know everything," Dom said, his voice firm. "I know enough to be certain that there is no way in hell that you are going up there to that girl tonight."

"And you have this authority, why?" I snarled. Perhaps, if I didn't feel so cornered and on edge, I may have backed down and acquiesced that he was right. My pride was hurt and seeking retribution, and perhaps goading Dom would bring it some mild relief. Especially as I could probably begin to concede that he was right to prevent me access to Stella in a moment of vulnerability. But still. "You're such a master on relationships that you know best?"

"Killian..."

"Go on, Dominic, lecture me on how to deal with Stella when you haven't held on to one girl longer than a couple of weeks at best. You cast them off faster than you can catch them. You've said so yourself a million times that you're not into commitment. So what do you know about relationships to get all up in this one?"

His nostrils flared and a muscle ticked in his jaw. I thought that maybe he would tackle me, throw a right hook that would probably dislocate my jaw, but nothing was forthcoming except for a tangible silence that prickled the air between us.

"The reason," Dom began in a low, ominous hiss, "that I am stopping you from going upstairs to her right now is because I know when a guy isn't ready for a woman." He thumped his chest for emphasis, his eyes boring deep, furious holes into mine. "I am that guy. You're right- I haven't had a relationship- probably ever- but I'm not fooling anybody about what I want, least of all myself. I'm sure as fuck not ready to mess around a girl while I try to figure myself out, to grow up enough to love her the way she needs to be loved. Whoever goes to bed with me sure as shit knows that as well as I do- I don't lie, or mess around, or fuck with her heart." He pointed a digit at me, right in the centre of my chest. "From what I've seen and heard tonight, you sure as shit fit that category to a perfect T, Mr Beckett."

"What the fuck do you-"

"I mean that you need to grow the fuck up." He jabbed the same finger that had been at my chest behind him, up towards the bedrooms at the top of the house. "Grow up and make the decision to love her, to be with her, in the way that she needs you to be. Otherwise you're not worth her time. And you'd realise this yourself if you were ready, which you're not, otherwise you would have said something to your mother tonight, would have fought harder for a place in Stella's life."

I was silent, his words making my gut clench with disgust and anguish. Dom continued to glare at me as he folded his arms over his chest again, the evening silent and humid around us. "If you spoke with Stella, you would know it's more complicated than that," I managed to bite out.

The other man shook his head. "Then you are not ready to go up to her."

Every muscle in my body was straining, baulking at his words. Less than a few hours ago, I was wholly ready to be with her- consumed by the very thought that the entirety of my existence would be filled with Stella- and to be told that I wasn't ready? When in actuality it was her that walked away from me - again. That it was her who had made the penultimate decision to end this thing between us before it had even begun. I wondered if Dom knew that, if Stella had divulged to him all the intimate details of our problems.

"Look, man," Dom said, his tone softening slightly, "I get it. I do... but I saw her broken today and that did something to me. I've never seen Stella like that before. She's always been so invincible, like nothing could bring her down."

As if he had thrown a bucket of ice water over me, my anger cooled, washed away by a torrent of concern and unease. "Is... is she alright?" I couldn't help but ask. I hadn't really seen her after we spoke, but I knew she would take it hard. I had seen the tears in her eyes as she walked away from me, but little else. If Dom saw her that affected...

I had to pull the pieces of her together after her mom passed, when her father couldn't be there for her, and when her brother was, well, Garth. Now, if I was the cause of her falling apart, then I couldn't be the person to hold her while she pieced herself back together. My throat constricted at that knowledge and I had to allow myself the begrudging, tiniest amount of gratitude that she'd had Dom during her time of need.

"I think she will be," he admitted, his arms lowering. "But you going to her room tonight, while she's vulnerable, won't be helping either of you."

As I mulled over his words, memories of Stella barraged through my mind. Of her keeping every part of her life busy during the days leading up to her mother's funeral, only breaking down in the few quiet moments at night in our tiny apartment when she was finally alone, of how strong she would come off to those closest to her in the most upsetting period of her life. Anybody who didn't know her, who wasn't as close to her as I was, wouldn't know just how difficult it was for her to conceal how affected she was.

I don't know how she handled our separation the first time she walked away from me, but I had a suspicion it was much the same way she had when her mother died.

By keeping herself busy, by making plans.

I knew Dom was right - I couldn't go to her now, not when I did not have a definitive conclusion in my mind. I would be seeing her for my own selfish need to talk to her, to have her close, and that wouldn't be beneficial to either of us.

I had to figure things out.

I sunk my hands into the pockets of my trousers, tipping my head back to stare at the stars above us, the wisp of silvery clouds chased by the heavenly winds across the waning moon.

Dom gripped my shoulder, his fingers pressing into my flesh with a consolatory squeeze.

All anger forgotten. "Let's have a nightcap," he suggested, drawing my gaze. "And put this behind us. Stella is one helluva girl to lose, but a good glass of scotch helps to ease that loss. Or so I'm told."

I snorted disparagingly and shrugged his fingers from my shoulder. "Lead the way," I told him, beginning to follow him inside. "But if you expect me to talk about this a moment longer, you can fuck off right into the ocean."