i tried: poems from a lost soul

Tortoise

I suppose I should amend the phrase

"I don't have enemies" to

"I don't have enemies except when I'm in bed,

In which case anyone and everyone who tries to wake me up

Is the most hateful person on earth,

And I will increase my own suffering in order to do a truly shoddy job of spiting them."

I always said Pedro Pony was my spirit animal

But really, on the bad days,

I'm a turtoise:

The more you prod me the more I curl up

Retreat into my sleep

Reticent.

As colour bleeds out of my waking hours,

My night-time reveries grow increasingly vibrant,

Lively, larger than life.

Overshadowing, outshining -

My dreams are more interesting than the real world

So I burrow deeper

Escape into the land of never-ending curiosities

Away from mother's shrill calls and,

Worse

Her disappointment.

I can't see her looks of disappointment if I'm asleep

Busy dreaming up castles and princesses that weren't there when I was a child.

I'm eighteen. I can't be a princess anymore.

Missed my chance

So a plain, ugly, cowardly tortoise it is.

But maybe

Maybe

I'm just trying to protect myself

Like our good friend Esio Trot -

Yet what a heavy shell!

Insulating,

But blocks the view like nothing else

And could really do with some sunlight and fresh air.

Unfortunately, there is little room for much else,

So all I have left are dreams

And a tear-stained pillow case.