Take My Hand. | SEULRENE

Chapter XIX

Irene's POV

"Seulgi, I..." I face her fully.

"We're just kidding, love." She lift op my hand and kissed the back of it. Oh. "The thing between us is going too fast already and asking for your hand in marriage now would be an absurd thing for me to do." I felt kind of disappointed with what she just said. I also realized that when she agreed on this marriage thing with her grandparents, I didn't feel like opposing the idea at all, I liked it.

"It doesn't look like the idea was absurd for Irene unnie." Minjeong suddenly spoke behind their grandparents. I just realized they were all there this whole time.

"She didn't react much when the idea popped up." Yuri unnie said. I look at the person beside her. unnie... She's looking at me in worry.

"We're still young. We still have a lot time to explore our relationship. Let's not rush things." I face Seulgi when she said that. but Seulgi...

"Unnie you're---"

"Okay! Let's have our dinner now so everyone could take a rest. I'm pretty sure you're all tired now." Their grandmother spoke, cutting off Yeri in what she was about to say next.

All of us just agreed and went on to the dinning table. It was a fun dinner. Yerim lead the talk with Minjeong. There were a lot of bickering and teasing. I can see how much their grandparents misses them here.

After dinner we fixed our things. I'm staying with Seulgi in her room. She's currently in the shower while I'm arranging my things to the closet she offered my things to put in. While transferring my things I heard a knock from the door.

"Come in!" I said. then entered my sister.

"Where's Seulgi?" She walk over to me and helped.

"She's still in the shower." I said. "What brings you here unnie?"

"You're not thinking of marrying her, right?" I stopped what I'm doing then faced her. I chuckled at the way that she's just looking down at my luggage.

"Is that something that worries you?" I asked. She nodded and sat on the floor

"I know when you put your mind into something, there's now way of stopping you." She said.

"and you don't like the idea of me marrying Seulgi?" I sat beside her.

"No, it's not that. It's just that marriage is a huge thing, there's no getting out of it."

"We both know there is unnie. There's annulment, divorce..."

"and death?" She finished it that made me frozen on the spot. "We also both know that there'll be no way those two choices--"

"She won't die." I said firmly.

"You do love her so much now."

"More than anything. If I were really to be married with her, I won't ever plan of getting out of it."

"I really thought this would be like some of those things you wanted to own before. I thought this idea of Seulgi in your head would just be temporary." I look at unnie.

"Well, you thought wrong. Because Seulgi is already engraved here." I reached for my heart. "She's not only an idea in my head anymore unnie, she's more than that, way more than that." She smiled at me and stands up.

"I guess you really know what you're doing now. Ignore me, for I was just worried my little sister would feel pain she can't handle in the future." I chuckled at her statement and stand up as well. I went up and hug her.

"I'll be fine." I whispered before letting go.

"If you say you will, then I'll trust you." She patted my head and walk to the door. "Like I said, when you put words into something there's no way it won't happen. I'll go now." She opened the door but before she can even exit I said something that made her stop.

"You're wrong again unnie. There's Seulgi." She faced me with a smile. I know she gets what I meant. I know she knows how much I rely my decisions, choices, and emotions on Seulgi now.

"You're already defeated and helpless." I smiled hearing those two words.

"It's what I craved for." She shake her head and chuckled. "As long as I have her, all of it doesn't matter to me."

"I can see that. I'll just be here." I nodded, she then went out of the room.

Just when unnie left Seulgi went out of the bathroom. I picked out some change of clothes I already prepared.

"I'm almost done unpacking. I feel like taking a shower already, can I just finish this aft--hmm" As soon as I turn to her direction she kissed me. "W-wait!" I push her a little, making some distance between us.

"I love you." She said that made me smile. I caress her cheek.

"I love you too." She was about to lean in again but I stopped her. "Let me shower first." I said to her, patting her cheek, before taking a step back.

She stopped me by taking my hand. She's just looking at it.

"Seul..."

"A ring would really look good here." Her thumb already soothing my ring finger. She look up and meet me in the eye. "I'm sorry I can't give certain future." She smiled but all I can see in her eyes was how those tears starting to form in them.

"Seulgi..."

"All I can offer to you is now--"

"And that's all I need and want, Seulgi." I reach to wipe the tear that fell with my free hand. "So please stop this thoughts. It's making you cry and I don't like it." She smiled causing tears to fall more. Damn these eyes of hers. She pulled me in and give me a short kiss.

"I love you so damn much now." She the let go of me. "Shower faster. I want cuddles." She said.

"I will." I said and turn my back on her.

When I entered the bathroom that's when all my defenses came crashing down. I dropped all the things I was holding. I found my self gripping the doorknob and leaning back to the door. I covered my face with my other hand an holding in my sobs, as I can't stop myself from crying anymore.

For unnie, I didn't chose Seulgi my heart did. As much as I want to let go now, my heart can't bear it anymore. I'm scared, I'm so damn scared and it already hurt so much just thinking about what the future holds for Seulgi and I. I don't want to be defeated nor be helpless. Even for the last time, I wish I could win this, I wish I can do anything. I don't want to lose her, I don't think I can take it.

Seulgi please.