never be alone

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(a/n: i forgot to mention this before starting the series bc im stupid but i highly recommend listening to the song of the title while reading the imagine haha)

never be alone: three out of fifteen

lyric based around: no specific lyric, mainly the entire song

word count: 1169

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"Y/N, I need the manuscript I assigned you, the one from two weeks ago, by at least Friday, you got that?" my boss shouted, throwing yet another stack of papers on the desk of my small cubical, stomping away noisily to his office across the hall.

I sighed, rubbing my two palms roughly across my face in annoyance, flipping through the bundle of sheets he'd rudely tossed on my desk earlier. I was almost ready to grab a pen and start the overdue document when I heard my phone buzz in the pocket of my jeans, the sound of my ringtone echoing across the half empty floor.

Shawn.

"What's up," I mumbled, letting out a deep, tired breath.

"Can you come home?" I hear his voice through the speaker of my phone, the shakiness of his tone making it evident that he was crying earlier, or even still is.

"Why, are you alright?" I panic, eyebrows pulled together as I chewed on my bottom lip with worry.

"Yeah," he said, voice still soft, "But just please, come home."

****

I hurriedly pull into the driveway of our house, glancing at the clock quickly before hopping out of the car and stomping upstairs towards the master bedroom.

10:06

Right when I shoved open the half shut door, I was met with a wide awake Shawn, lain on his back, face looking up blankly at the ceiling. His normally happy brown eyes were filled with tears, cheeks covered with large splotches of red, the way they always got when he'd been crying for too long.

"Oh, gosh," I mumbled, kicking my flats off and rushing towards his still body, taking his face in mine, forcing him to look up at me so I could read the look in his eyes. There was nothing I could see but sadness.

He lightly patted the empty space next to him, gripping me by my the waist and pulling me into the bed and next to his warm body. His chest was pressed against my back, face buried into the crook of my neck, leaving gentle, needy kisses along the soft skin.

"Shawn, what's wrong?" I cooed, turning my head back, running the tips of my fingers along his jawline.

"I missed you," he breathed, letting even more tears fall onto the crumpled sheets beneath us. I stared at him in confusion.

I'd seen him just this morning before I left for work, and even then, we've had to go even longer periods of time without each other when he's on tour. So why was he acting like this?

I rested my head on his shoulder, bringing the back of my palm to his forehead and checking for a fever. His temperature seemed normal to me.

"Do you need me to get you anything? Water, food?" I fretted. He shook his head and laid my unresting body back down, spooning me with one of his long arms, the other playing with my strands of hair.

"No," he said, "I just want you to lay with me."

I nod, deciding to quit with my questions, shuffling around slightly to get comfy in his arms, shutting my eyes despite my makeup covered face and work clothed body. The room fell into silence, my mind half asleep when I hear him speak once again. His breath tickled my neck, sending goosebumps all across my skin.

"You know I love you, right?"

I laughed at his obscurity, "Are you serious?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

With my eyes still shut, head faced the other way, I answered.

"Yes, I know you love me Shawn, now go to sleep."

"Good," he murmured, "And do you love me?"

"More than anything in the world."

***

I woke up alone and cold, the light from the open shutters blinding my vision. I felt sick, like something bad had happened, or was going to happen. Looking over to where Shawn's body used to lay, I saw an envelope, labeled carefully.

My Love.

Picking it up with my trembling fingers, I tore it open, sliding out the single, folded up sheet of paper. It smelled just like him, small dots of dried tear drops leaving a stain on the letter.

Dear Y/N,

First, I want you to understand that I know, I know I should've done this in person, rather than a pathetic note, but I couldn't dare stand there and say the words with my mouth, knowing it would be nearly impossible to do this without taking one look into your eyes and changing my mind entirely.

I'm leaving for tour. I have to leave. I don't necessarily want to, but I have to, seeing that I have my fans to thank and repay for all they have done for me. This is my dream.

I'll be gone for a year. Andrew and management aren't allowing me to contact you, at all. They say I have to stay focused. It's all so crazy, I barely understand it myself, and I don't know how to stop or slow it down.

There are so many things I want to talk about, things I want to tell you. But there's no time, I can't stay. By the time you're reading this, I'm probably already on a plane to London for my first headline.

I know sorry doesn't do this much justice, but I am so, so sorry princess. I'm sorry for being such a damn coward, I'm sorry for leaving you there all alone, I'm sorry for being so incredibly selfish, I'm sorry. I hope you know that.

I promise that when I get back, nothing about how I feel about you will change. You will still be the only girl who can make my heart race at an inhumane rate in a matter of seconds, and you will still be the only person who matters to me most, nothing could ever change that. I promise that when I get back, I'll kiss every ounce of the pain I've caused you away.

But I wouldn't blame you if you went on and found someone else, someone better. Someone who would be there for you at all times, someone who wouldn't leave you. But I can tell you one thing, doll, and that is that nobody, and I mean nobody, could ever love you more than I do. Nobody.

Baby, I have no idea how this will end. Maybe the equator will fall from the face of the earth tomorrow, or maybe my absolute insanity combined with the absolute obstacle course of your communication skills will leave us like an unread love letter left in a landfill. But whatever, however, whenever this ends I want you to know that right now, I love you forever.

Take care, babygirl,

Shawn

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this didn't come out the way i wanted it to lol

and im having a really difficult time finding out how im going to write an imagine for kid in love

(the quote i used at the end IS NOT MINE i found it on tumblr)

but guess who's leaving for california tomorrow morning (-:

next imagine: kid in love

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