shawn mendes imagines

the wrong girl

word count: 914

(disclaimer !! guys, i only use laur as the girl that shawn's marrying in this imagine because it makes this more realistic. let's be honest, laur is probably gonna be the lucky girl that's going to be or already is his girlfriend. you can tell shawn has feelings for her. and as much as i fucking despise her, she makes him happy. so yeah. feel free to switch names up as much as you'd like)

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"You look amazing, Shawn," I smiled tightly, fumbling with his tie so that it'd fall perfectly against his chest.
As I smoothed out the black fabric, I let my mind wander away.

I couldn't imagine how I would be after knowing Shawn had made a commitment to be with someone who isn't me, forever. Just him being engaged was enough to make me cry myself to sleep for hours, several nights in a row, asking why it couldn't have been me. Why it never could be me.

Him choosing another girl was like this fire in my chest, this voice banging in my skull telling me that I'll never be enough. It's a jab to the chest that made me realize the person I'd end my own life for wouldn't even think about saving me. I'm just the person that's there, the person he goes to when there's nobody else.

"Y/N, are you alright?" Shawn giggled, snapping me out of my thoughts, "You've been staring at my shoes for the past five minutes."

My cheeks flushed crimson as I darted my eyes somewhere else, anywhere but his happy ones. Mumbling a small, "sorry," I took a step back, letting the smoothened tie fall out of my fingers so he could see the final look.

Taylor and Cameron entered the room hooting and hollering as they ran over to him, slapping him on the back and doing the little 'bro hugs' guys always do. I couldn't bring myself to look up and catch his reaction, knowing that the happiness that will appear on his face won't be because of me.

"You look great, man," Taylor beamed, Cameron giving Shawn a thumbs up as a sign of his approval.

"Thanks, guys," Shawn laughed.

I've never seen the boys so happy for him, so excited for him, and it killed me to know that I couldn't even act happy for him like that. I always felt obliged to hold my feelings back, for the sake of his own happiness. My eyes became glossy as I took a quick glance at Cameron. He was staring at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen in my life. He looked at me as if I'd fallen ill for months, and had absolutely no chance at recovery whatsoever.

Cameron knew how madly in love I was with Shawn. Hell, everybody seemed to know. Everyone but the man himself.

"I still can't believe that in one month, I'll be marrying the wife of my dreams. Gosh, guys, I always thought happiness was something fake, but she made it my reality," Shawn gushed, showing off the biggest smile I've ever seen on his beautiful face - one I could never be the cause of.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek, quickly wiping it away as soon as it came down, praying none of the boys had seen it.

"Y/N? What's wrong?" Shawn asked, taking two big strides towards me. Cameron gave me a look, one telling me to go for it, to tell the truth once and for all. I should probably just tell him, before he got too out of reach for me to grab onto, but I couldn't. I couldn't wipe that precious smile covering his face, I just couldn't bring myself to it.

"Oh, nothing," I breathed, letting a small smile rise to my trembling lips to make it look like I meant what I was about to say, "I'm just so happy for you, Shawn. I remember when we were younger, and you could only dream about finding someone like her, like Laur, and look at you now. You found her."

I thought it was impossible, but Shawn's smile seemed to grow as he wrapped his strong arms around me, giving me a hug so secure, I was dreading the moment it would end.

"Don't lie," I hear a voice mutter, a voice I soon found out belonged to Cam. Shawn and I's head both snapped up, in sync, causing my body to freeze completely.

"You love him, Y/N, how long can you keep something like that a secret? We both know you can't possibly be happy knowing he's about to spend the rest of his life with the wrong person. You can't sleep at night, you can't think straight, you aren't you. You've wanted him since you were what, thirteen? I'm not letting you continue to walk around like you're, like you're dead! Stop lying to him, and most importantly, stop lying to yourself for fucks sake."

I let one strangled sob out as I backed away slowly, making eye contact with Cameron, then choking out a "how could you." Just as my shaking fingers wrapped around the knob of the door, a hand took hold of my forearm, putting my rushed actions to a halt.

"Y/N, wait," Shawn pleaded.

"Let me go!" I cried, ripping my arm from his fingers and running, running as fast as I can, running so I could just disappear. Forever.

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IM MAKING A PART TWO TO THIS CHILL

i also got the idea to do this from tumblr bc writers block was killing me omg

comment, vote, and follow if u want bc if u do we can be bffs & aye thanks for (almost) 30k ily ily ily ok bye