Faline San vs. the Earth

The autogwaph

A/N: If you enjoy you won't be thrown into a microwave.

Faline stared at Gordon Ramsay and said, "hewwo, can you sign my autogwaph."

"WHAT THE F(iverr) ARE YOU DOING?! THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME ACTUAL TALENT!" Gordon inhaled, "YOU! ARE! NOT! TALENTED!"

"Wait, what the f(inal destination)," says the fanboy.

Fal looks around and realizes the dungeon is being on Gordon Ramsay's new show, 'Best Chef in Existence I Guess, but Still NOT Better Than Gordon Ramsay' hosted by Gordon Ramsay (Callback to Part One). Fal then starts to fanboy.

"GOD, STOP BEING SUCH A GEEK, FALINE, AND GO TO YOUR STATION!" Said Gordon, quietly.

Faline was prepared for whatever challenge would happen on this episode of 'Best Chef in Existence I Guess, but Still NOT Better Than Gordon Ramsay' hosted by Gordon Ramsay. For he had made a god-fighting cake.

Then, it was revealed Fal would be cooking against Gordon Ramsay himself. "Faline, you will have to make a dish including some nice healthy greens. We will be cooking for 1 hour. And you time starts...now!"

Faline started panicking because G R E E N, but before he could process anything Gordon Ramsay was already prepared with everything he needed. For the next ten minutes Fal thought about what to make before deciding on dumplings with minimal greens (to appease his ancestors). By that time Gordon Ramsay had already finished.

Fal felt like he was in the oven of Gordon Ramsay. He was feeling like a failure every step of the way but he would get a boost of dopamine every time Gordon Ramsay screamed about whatever. Before he knew it, Faline had finished with minimal greens.

Gordon Ramsay was not one of the judges but even you (an ugly human with 1 brain cell) could tell that Gordon was friends with the judges and Gordon's dish was better.

One of the judges stepped out and said, "It is our unanimous decision that Fay-Lean Sawn has won."

Faline had won because Gordon had too much green and objective facts stated by Faline about green were objective facts that align with the judges' viewpoint. "Well, good job Faline," Gordon Ramsay shakes Faline's hand like a true homie, "You may leave the set of the show."

"Thanks, by the way," the author copypasted this from earlier, "hewwo, can you sign my autogwaph."

"Sure, I will sign your autogwaph," Gordon proceeds to sign Falien's autogwaph.

Faline becomes a rat and smokes a cigarette, "change da world

my final message. Goodb ye" Faline fades into the background as the Windows 95 startup sound plays.

A/N: Falien is intenional.