I don't deserve you

Lost my soul

The shit that we do for our family is normal to us.

Me and tuk snuck back into the ship, it's making a lot of sounds. We find Kiri and try to cut her out when the old man came from behind, and tied us both to the railing along with Kiri. Shit were stuck too.

"Mawey tuk mawey" I said calmly trying to calm my self down as well.  Putting little effort into trying to cut the wrist ties because I knew it wasn't going to work very well.

I see neteyam Loak and spider run across, worried sick as they're getting shot at. I'm on my knees, my nerves were on edge.

I try to stay calm to be a good example to tuk but it's not working.

We hear shooting and see neteyam spider and Loak jump into the water. I wish I could be there for them. I missed spider and I know the rest of the family did but it has been so long. Tsireya cuts us from the cuffs and we start to swim. We swim to a nearby rock where it looked like my whole family was. We got there and neteyam was shot... I started crying. No no no my gut feeling came true this can't be happening. I put my hand on his wound along with dad and Loak. Spider comes up behind me and hugs me as he stands there. I cannot focus on him right now I only need to focus on neteyam.

Neteyam tries to tell dad something but stops talking and breathing all at once. "No no no no SHIT NETEYAM PLEASE WAKE UP PLEASE" I yell. My mom also yelling balling her eyes as well. "NETEYAM THIS ISNT FUNNY THIS SHOULDNT BE A JOKE WAKE UP" I can't accept the fact that he is gone. He can't be, he has done so much for us.

Dad and spider go back to the ship along with mom and Loak. Me and Tsireya sit there for hours worrying about tuk and Kiri as we could not save them.

I stay with neteyams body and Tsireya to comfort her and protect what needed to be protected. The whole family comes back at sunrise and we go back to the village.

His funeral is today and I can't do it. Spider takes me out to wear no one can find us.  "Listen I know this isn't the best timing but I have to get this off my chest. I love you tiger and I can't be without you. You were my everything back in the forest and I know things have been rough but we can work through this together."

I start crying once more covering my mouth. " I love you too soider" and he pulls me close and kisses me. I've been waiting for this for forever and now it's here. Maybe not the best time but it's made my day. I'll miss neteyam but I can't wait for what my future looks like.