How To Enslave an Empath

Chapter Fourteen- The Narcissistic Dyad

I think an Empath in a narcissistically abusive relationship may be as happy as a clam with a piece of sand lodged in its shell. They may be so mad they could spit. They may spit advice at their companion like a fine oil. From their perspective it is motivated by loving concern. After all, it works for clams, why not relationships?

You may feel that your companion just needs some smoothing over. They're a little rough around the edges. They just need some smothering, I mean mothering. With a little attention they will make a fine pearl.

How romantic. They need you, and you love to be needed. Nothing will come between you and the love of your life. Not children, or family, or anyone. Your companion is just misunderstood. If others hurt your love, you will make sure that person pays dearly.

Women often identify with the Empath in the narrative, and they usually cast their men in the role of a speck of sand that needs refining. She will even say that the reason she married him was because she felt sorry for him.

In reality, these roles may be reversed or even alternate depending on the needs of the couple. Who cares about reality. You're sporting some stylish rose colored glasses. After all, perception is everything!

There are a few things to keep in mind about Narcissistic Dyads: (1) They can usually see each other more clearly than anyone else. (2) Children are usually seen as competitors or as interlopers. Therefore, they are almost invariably treated like the enemy. After all, it's called a Dyad not a Triad.

This does not mean that they won't use children or anyone as pawns in their game of life. They are the king and queen of their kingdom. With their rose colored glasses on, their perceptions of each other may be quite rosey. I think you know where I'm going with this.

Meet the Red King and Red Queen. The world is their oyster. They are opportunists at heart, and they see opportunity everywhere. History is riddled with examples of this dynamic duo.

From a distance they may appear to be the model couple, but once you get to know them separately, you may be surprised to hear them complain about the other. One or both will speak of how they have had to endure the other one. It may be difficult to figure out which one is the victim. Don't get sucked in. They can't help it. If they start in on the flattery, next they'll want to dance with you.

This narcissistic dyad is not limited to a married couple. It is especially potent in our modern society of broken, or fractured families. Divorce is a breeding ground for exploitation, extortion, and a host of other behaviors common to narcissistically driven parents. In their quest for control, each parent may use any, or all of the twelve steps to curry the favor of their youngsters. Even worse, this can be the perfect nursery for an adolescent, or teenager to begin crafting their own version of the twelve steps to use on their parents. Soon, one or both parents may get a taste of their own medicine, as the saying goes.

So who is the real problem here? Is it the king, the queen, or both? Is it their subjects? Is it you? Is it me. Why does this keep happening? Turn the page if you dare.