Rêveuse

Chapter 2.

December 2022

"Que veux-tu dire?" What do you mean?  I asked, pressing the phone to my shoulder as I folded clothes into my suitcase.

Charles was still doing all kinds of different things in Maranello, and he had been in Abu Dhabi for long after that last race. He was already preparing for the next season, so I said I'd come visit Evie in Milan where she lived with Pierre whenever she wasn't in Los Angeles. She kind of hadn't even told Max about changing any addresses or anything, but just did, and Max barely seemed to notice because it was so normal that she was away.

Evie and Pierre had been going through a phase since the season ended, because Pierre wanted Evie to come home, but Evie didn't necessarily want to move her career from the states back to Europe. He wanted her closer, he was sick of the whole distance thing, but she wasn't ready to leave. It caused them to fight a lot, hence why she asked me to come. They can't fight if I'm there.

"C'était une décision hâtive... nous commençons à regretter de partir... ton père cherche des emplois à la maison," It was a hasty decision...we're starting to regret leaving...your dad is looking for jobs back home, my mom replied on the other end of the phone.

I put the shirt into the suitcase, then took the phone in my hands and sat down on the bed. She had called me and immediately asked me how I'd feel about her and dad coming back to Monaco. They had been gone for so long, and I missed them everyday of course. I would love for them to live closer again. But then she added: "to the house."

"J'aimerais que tu reviennes, maman. Que veux-tu dire à la maison?" I would like you to come back, mom. What do you mean the house? I asked, looking at myself in the mirror on the wall in front of me. I was slouching again, so I sat up and I straightened my back and rolled my shoulders back. Then I gave up and slouched again.

There was silence for a bit on the other side, and I wondered if I had used a tone that maybe sounded a little harsh.

"La famille qui a emménagé après nous... ils vendent la maison..." The family that moved in after us... they're selling the house... she started. The house we had just packed up and left so many years ago. Were we supposed to just come back to it? Would they live there alone?

"Envisagez-vous de le racheter?" Are you considering buying it back? I asked.

"Nous aimions cette maison... nous étions stupides de la quitter," We loved that house... we were stupid to leave it, she replied. "On veut être plus proche de toi, de Pascale maintenant qu'elle est toute seule, on veut être proche quand on aura des petits-enfants," we want to be close to you, to Pascale now that she's all alone, when we have grandchildren, she added, which was when I stopped her.

"Nous ne pensons même pas encore aux enfants," We're not even thinking about children yet, I said quickly.

"Mais le moment venu," But when the time comes, she replied, "La maison est idéale pour que les enfants puissent courir," The house is great for children to run around.

I knew that it was great for kids to run around, because I had been running around there. So had Charles and Arthur. So had Lorenzo and Jules. It's a perfect home for a family with children. But they don't have any children living at home. They have a daughter who might have kids in multiple years. It just felt weird thinking about them back in that house? Would they just put everything back the way it was and pretend like we never left? Would it feel better if they didn't put it back and just made it look completely different?

"Ça sonne bien, maman," It sounds great, mom, I replied after a moment of silence. I have found myself a bit scared of conflict lately. Some may argue that I've always been scared of conflict, and I suppose there might be some truth in that. But I'd rather let it go than try to explain to her that something feels off about their decision. I also didn't want to hurt her feelings and make her believe that I don't want her to move back.