Comeback

~ Chapter 25 ~

Chapter 25
Monday September 5th
Harry's POV

The weekend went by relatively slow, which isn't any different than the last several years. I spent the entire time stuck in the house trying to find ways to entertain myself. Back then it used to be more manageable, but now that I've gotten to leave the house for the last month, it was quite harder.

I've worked out for hours, read two different books, mowed Jeff's lawn, and baked several different deserts. Oh, and took a relaxing bath.

A large chunk of my time was spent thinking about Lennon and Theo however. When I saw that canvas of Theo and his little siblings, it was like the world stopped for a moment when I saw his face. It was the first time in three years that I've seen a new photo of him, not ones from my camera roll from when he was a baby. It was crazy to see how he looked now... and still just like me.

I can't even imagine how I'd react if I get to see him in person again. A picture was enough to make me feel like breaking down right then and there. Getting to be his dad again would be like on a whole other level.

I wanted to know so much more about him, but Lennon hasn't felt ready to talk about his personality or life yet. I don't know if he's still the calm little baby I left behind or if his personality has become more extroverted as he's gotten older. I don't know how his voice sounds or any of his favorite things, but I so badly wanted to learn.

The only new thing that I learned was that he's a big brother now. I don't doubt that Lennon has raised him to be the best older brother in the entire universe. His smile as he laid next to them was so wide, and it made me really happy. I missed out on so many of those smiles, and it was all my fault.

Although, it was a bit shocking when I saw the photo and processed it all together in my mind. I guess I had this fucked up selfish image in my head that it was just going to be Lennon and Theo still. I don't blame her for moving on, she deserved to. It was just weird to see her in this new life while I'm still in my old one, still fucking in love with her.

I told Lennon at the hospital that I didn't show up to try and rebuild our relationship, and I wouldn't ever expect that from her, I simply just want to get to know Theo. Which is true. It wouldn't happen anyways seeing that she must've found somebody new and grew a family with them.

I also told her I'm glad she found somebody that gave her what I didn't. Although I might be the slightest bit jealous, I still meant that. I left because I wanted the two of them to have the best, and the best couldn't be me. It was weird knowing that somebody else is in Theo's life, but there's nobody to blame for that except myself.

Lennon and Theo have 3 new people who love them, and that makes me happy.

Lennon told me on Friday that she would reach back out to me in a couple days, which I was fine with. I was well aware she needed time to reflect on our conversation and everything that I told her. I know the California thing was a big one... I was a lot closer to them than she thought I was and I knew that completely blindsided her. I just wanted to let her know the truth about it sooner rather than later, and when she had asked me where I was I knew I needed to let it out right then. I didn't intentionally do it, it just happened that way...

I originally had moved back to England to live with my mum when I first left, and it had worked for a little while. It was fine, until it wasn't. My mom understandably did not agree with my decision at all, and it ruffled our relationship after a while. She was feeling guilty about Lennon, and she didn't want to be the one 'hiding' me anymore.

She didn't kick me out, but it was a mutual thing between the two of us. My manager was the only other person who knew where I was. We are close friends and when I disappeared from the film world, he obviously knew about it. He offered up his spare bedroom to me from the start, but I didn't move in until after a year later.